Mind's Eye
by Galadriell
Summary: After five years of silence in a mental institution, Harry speaks.  "Malfoy," he murmurs.  Why would he speak the name of his Slytherin counterpart? So begins the treatment with Draco in the forefront of it all. Harry/Draco SLASH! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not make a profit off of this piece of literature and I give full recognition to JK Rowling for her works.

**Thank you 13 eleMENTAL 31, InsaneOrange and Maiden of Books for your beta skills!**

The first block of italicized text is a passage from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling, pp. 595-6, Raincoast/Bloomsbury, published 2007.

* * *

"_Avada Kedavra!"_

"_Expelliarmus!"_

_The bang was like a cannon blast, and the golden ﬂames that erupted between them, at the dead center of the circle they had been treading, marked the point where the spells collided. Harry saw Voldemort's green jet meet his own spell, saw the Elder Wand fly high, dark against the sunrise, spinning across the enchanted ceiling like the head of Nagini, spinning through the air toward the master it would not kill, who had come to take full possession of it at last._

_And Harry, with the unerring skill of a Seeker, caught the wand in his free hand as Voldemort fell backward, arms splayed, the slit pupils of the scarlet eyes rolling upward. Tom Riddle hit the floor with a mundane finality, his body feeble and shrunken, the white hands empty, the snakelike face vacant and unknowing. Voldemort was dead, killed by his own rebounding curse, and Harry stood with two wands in his hands, staring down at his enemy's shell._

_One shivering second of silence, the shock of the moment suspend: and then the tumult broke around Harry as the screams and the cheers and the roars of the watchers rent the air. The fierce new sun dazzled the windows as they thundered toward him._

He crumpled to the floor, wands clutched to his heart and eyes fluttering shut.

* * *

It had been five years since…

Draco Malfoy stood by the one-way window, arms folded against his chest and passively staring at the patient on the floor. It was supposed to be Harry Potter. Draco tilted his head, trying to find a flicker of recognition in his mind. It was supposed to be Harry Potter, but it wasn't. No one had heard from Harry Potter in five years. No one had seen Harry Potter in five years. Many believed him dead. Out of sight, out of mind. The man was sitting on the floor, his back resting against his bed. He was gazing at the wall across from him. Gazing at nothing, from the looks of it. Catatonic.

It was supposed to be Harry Potter, but it wasn't.

"Healer Warren will see you now."

Draco nodded and followed the Apprentice down the empty hall. Morose paintings hung limp, as though the ward was not allowed to be cheerful. The walls were sterile white and lit with bright lights. It was eerily quiet. Draco passed many cells, each holding a patient with debilitating illness of the mind. He wasn't fazed. After what he had been through, nothing could stir him. He was as blank as Harry, in some aspects. He entered the large office of Healer Joseph Warren. He was gestured to take the seat. The Apprentice left the men and closed the door behind her. Draco nodded at Joseph in greeting.

"I will get right to the point, Mr. Malfoy," the Healer said. Draco glanced over the distaste in his tone. It was how the people will continue to talk to him – with disgust and loathing. Even after trials, he was not exempted in the eyes of the people. They hated the sight of a former Dark army member in their midst. Draco was used to it. The large man continued. "As I had indicated in my letter, this is in relation to Harry Potter." Draco nodded again. "What do you know of his condition?"

"Nothing," Draco answered.

"After the War, it took him a year to just regain consciousness. It wasn't so much a coma as it was deep sleep. It is a… rather severe case of post-traumatic stress disorder. Usual PTSD patients are violent and vocal. They are unable to live down their experiences. They see visions of the trauma, hallucinations essentially. It is quite easy to treat such patients because they manifest what is known as positive symptoms. That is, their behavior is added onto their usual manner of living.

"In Mr. Potter, we see negative symptoms. Instead of adding onto his usual behavior, his usual behavior is lost because of the trauma. Instead of being volatile, he is passive. He is incapable of understanding instructions. He does not show signs of needing social interactions. In essence, he is living in his head. Because of this, we do not know what he is experiencing." Here, Joseph paused, leaning back on his chair.

"So?" Draco asked.

Joseph pondered over the man before him for a long while. The Healer was rather formidable. His thick white hair and creased face accented his wise appearance. He took over the room with his presence and his size. He had kind brown eyes, but at that moment they were hard with tension. Draco did not break the contact, keeping his own expression as passive as the Healer's. "So," Joseph said, "almost a month ago, he spoke your name."

Draco frowned. "Pardon?" he murmured.

"Since then, we have tried to coax more out of him. But he spoke it once and never after. Would you know why?" Joseph asked, searching Draco's expression. From what the Healer could see, Draco had even less of an idea as to why Harry would do that.

"It's just a mistake," Draco said, shaking his head.

"Malfoy. That is what he said."

"Why?" Draco asked incredulously.

Joseph stood up. He rested his hands on his belly absently as he paced behind his desk. "I am out of options, Mr. Malfoy. I would not call you unless this was absolutely necessary. Last resort. But we would require full cooperation," he said.

"Cooperation?"

"I need to stimulate his memories. We have tried friends. We have tried prized possessions. We have tried nearly everything." Then Joseph smiled wryly. "We've never tried enemies."

Draco stiffened, staring at the inkwell with purpose. "No," he said.

Joseph paused in his pacing. "No?" he asked distantly. He was expecting as much.

"No," Draco reiterated, getting up. "I am not willing to cooperate."

"The Minister has requested you participate."

Draco froze, turning around. "What?" he asked. "The Minister?"

"It will be counted towards your parole duties."

"You're _forcing_ me to cooperate?" Draco asked as his fists clenched.

Joseph held Draco's murderous glare. "Yes. We are."

* * *

Draco found himself watching Harry again. Apprentice Lily Swade was beside him. "What is he doing?" Draco asked.

"Do you see how he is smiling?" Lily asked softly.

Draco studied the raven-haired man. He still looked like a seventeen-year-old, as though he were stuck in time. The healthy glow on his skin was gone, pale from being indoors for years. His hair was cut short, easier to manage. He wore hospital clothes – grey button down shirt, pajamas and socks. His expression was unnerving. He wasn't smiling. "I don't see it," Draco answered. Harry was staring at a spot on the blank white wall, shoulders hunched and knees pulled up to his chest.

"Hmm…" Lily murmured. "I've been with him for years, so I guess it's easier for me to see. He is thinking about happy memories today. He doesn't do that often. It's a good thing you came by now. He might take to you better."

"Healer Warren said that he does not interact with people," Draco said, looking down at the petite blonde.

"He doesn't. I'd be wary if I were you. It took him almost a year to get used to me," Lily said. "He is gentle, so don't worry about him hurting you. Once he gets accustomed to you, I won't be visiting with you. Healer Warren thinks it will be best if Harry met with you without other distractions." She straightened her robe. "I will go in first and you can watch how I work with him. If he is having a good day, I'll introduce you to him. Does that sound alright?"

"Not as though I have a choice…"

Lily looked at Draco for a beat longer before opening the door. He watched through the window. She walked quietly, approaching Harry without startling him. She knelt down beside the man and held her hand out in front of him in his field of vision. Draco saw Harry blink twice before turning to Lily. Draco couldn't hear anything, but he saw Lily's lips moving. Harry went back to looking at the white wall, his head tilted towards Lily slightly, as though listening. She placed her hand on Harry's shoulder. He inched away from the touch. Lily pulled her hand back, still speaking. Harry glanced at her again. She became excited now, looking at Draco with a wide grin. She got up, waving at Harry.

She hurried out of the room, her grin never wavering. Draco looked at her expectantly. "He's doing amazing today, actually," she said after closing the door. "He doesn't usually acknowledge me. But he did right now! I think he will be fine with seeing you. Ready?"

"Not really," Draco murmured, queasy.

"Like I said, he doesn't bite," she said patiently, opening the door. "Follow my lead, okay?" She let Draco walk in, stopping him just inside the room with a hand on his arm. The room was three meters all around with dark hardwood floor, had a large curtained window that looked out into the expansive green grounds, and housed a table, chairs, and a bed. It was airy and fresh. She closed the door and moved towards Harry. She knelt down next to him. Draco followed suit, sitting behind her. Lily held her hand in front of Harry's eyes again. Harry blinked out of his reverie and turned to the Apprentice.

"Hi, Harry," Lily said quietly. "Be a dear and smile for me?" Harry's eyes roved Lily's face before turning to the wall. "You're doing so well!" she exclaimed, giggling. "I brought a new friend." Draco nearly scoffed at this introduction. She motioned for him to hold his hand out in front of Harry.

Draco scooted forward and imitated Lily, his palm facing towards Harry's eyes. Harry blinked and turned. The clouded green eyes stared into uncertain grey ones. "Remember him?" Lily asked.

Harry looked away again, his expression unchanging and blank. Lily gasped and laughed with enthusiasm. "Are you _shy_, Harry?" she asked, her eyes twinkling when she flicked them at Draco. "He's blushing. Do you see?" Sure enough, Draco saw a faint red tinge creep up Harry's ears. "He will be visiting you again, okay? I want you to be nice to him. I'll see you later," she said. Harry kept his eyes on the wall, his pink-stained cheeks returning to normal as she spoke. She got up and Draco followed her out the room.

"How did that go?" Draco asked hesitantly.

Lily laughed, looking at Harry fondly through the glass. "It went _very_ well. He gets shy when he sees a familiar face, that's all. He recognized you! That's brilliant!"

Draco wasn't so sure if it was. "Do people come visit him often?" he asked.

"Not quite as often anymore," Lily said. "Ron and Hermione visit the most, understandably. He enjoys their visits. Don't let his demeanor fool you. He likes company. Unfortunately, company doesn't like him."

"He looks quite depressing," Draco murmured.

Lily bit back her sharp retort. "He has been through a lot," she said instead.

"We've all been through a lot," Draco responded bitterly. "He's just managed to escape it all."

"I wouldn't judge so quickly."

"He's quick to judge me. Why wouldn't I be quick to judge him?"

Lily closed her eyes in exasperation. "You shouldn't be this insensitive," she said, walking away.

Draco blinked after her, a nagging headache blooming between his brows. He sighed and turned back to watch Harry.

"You're _what_?" Ron nearly shouted, jumping out of his chair. "You're doing _what_?"

Joseph looked at Hermione for help. She wasn't giving him any as she stared out the window with conflicting emotions playing across her face. "We are running out of options here, Mr. Weasley. Now, if you would just–"

"We're his legal guardians!" Ron said angrily. "And you didn't think it was wise to notify us? We're talking about Malfoy! He– he would rather kill Harry than help him!"

"Ron," Hermione said, wrapping her fingers around her husband's hand. "Sit down, okay? We'll talk this out."

He sat down heavily, fury in his eyes. "I want to know _everything_ that will be happening at these sessions. And I want full supervision at all times," he demanded.

"Of course, of course," Joseph said in appeasement. "We will give you full disclosure of the treatment procedures."

"Why him?" Hermione asked, looking pained.

Joseph leaned forward, taking off his glasses while in deep thought. "He is the only thing we haven't tried, Mrs. Weasley. We are grappling at straws here. Any change in Harry is now coined as an improvement." The Healer looked desperate. "If Mr. Malfoy is able to bring about this change, wouldn't you want to try?"

Ron raked his fingers through his hair, apprehension eating away at him. "Has Harry met with Malfoy already?" he asked. Joseph nodded. "And?"

"And Harry recognized him," Joseph said.

"Oh…"

"Again, that is not saying much. He is able to recognize nearly everything from his life. What we need to find out is why Harry spoke. And I want to know what I can do to make him speak again."

* * *

Healer Warren and Apprentice Swade stood at the observation window. He was quickly jotting notes while she was reciting Harry's progress. She stopped midway, clicking her tongue in frustration. "I wanted to talk to you about Malfoy," she said.

"Mhm…" Joseph murmured, knowing what she was about to say.

"I think having him meet Harry could do more harm than good," she explained.

"How so?"

"He doesn't provide the support Harry needs. He is bitter and harsh about everything. He was being _critical_ of Harry! How could he be like that?" she asked.

"We've tried supportive and loving. Perhaps it is time to introduce hate and anger."

Lily looked at the Healer in disbelief. "You can't be serious!" she exclaimed. "He has gotten this far because of all we have done for him."

"Now we see what Mr. Malfoy can do for him," Joseph said. "At the first sign of deterioration, we will stop. I am just trying to help Harry."

"I know," Lily said begrudgingly.

* * *

The next time Draco visited, Harry held the gaze a little longer than before. Lily was beaming proudly. "You're doing so well, Harry," she gushed. She tried touching Harry's shoulder again. Harry shifted away. "Still not used to it, huh? That's okay. We have all the time in the world."

Once they were outside the room, she turned to Draco with her hands on her hips. "You could try smiling once in a while, you know?" she muttered.

"Nothing to smile about, is there? This place is sad as hell," Draco said, waving his hand up and down the blank corridor.

"For Harry?"

"Definitely not for Potter."

"You are quite hard to work with," Lily said caustically.

"Especially since I don't want to be here," Draco mumbled.

"It's not like you have anything better to do, do you?" she asked. Draco didn't answer, remaining tight-lipped.

* * *

"Does he ever get out of that room?" Draco asked Healer Warren.

"No. His room is his world."

"Have you tried?"

"Yes. I believe it overwhelms his senses. He can't be over stimulated," Joseph said.

"Pathetic way to live," Draco said, almost to himself.

Joseph tried to keep from rolling his eyes. "But it is his life now, Mr. Malfoy. I hope you understand," he said.

"How do you know he wants it?"

Joseph tensed. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Draco kept his eyes on the Healer as he repeated, "How do you know he wants to live like this?"

"As opposed to?"

"Being dead," Draco clarified impassively. Joseph let out a frustrated breath, leaving Draco to find his own way out of the hospital.

* * *

Hermione sat cross-legged on the ground with Harry while Ron stood by the curtains. "Look what I brought, Harry," she said. She held up a photograph of Rose for him to see. "She's so grown up now. She's standing up and all," Hermione said. Harry focused in on the moving picture of a young redhead in a white sundress, bouncing on her curled feet and giggling to show patches of pearly teeth. "Isn't she adorable?" Hermione asked, laughing. Harry looked up from the photograph towards Ron. Ron smiled back, jerking his brows questioningly.

"He is doing much better," Lily said enthusiastically.

"He is… I'm glad," Hermione murmured.

"It's been a week since he's had a depressive state. Hopefully it stays away for a while longer," the Apprentice said.

"I wanted to ask about Malfoy," Ron said, looking at Lily pointedly.

Lily leaned against the wall, looking defeated. "I have no idea what Healer Warren wants. Mr. Malfoy is not providing the best environment for Harry. He is a reluctant participant in this treatment."

"But is he doing anything to hurt Harry?" Hermione asked nervously.

"He's been here almost everyday. So far, nothing has happened," Lily shrugged. "We don't do much. I talk to Harry and he sits here with us. Harry recognizes him and looks at him at times. But that is about the extent of it."

"If something goes wrong–"

"We will stop," Lily reassured.

"Okay. Good. I know you're just trying to get him better," Ron said, looking at Harry sadly.

"It's a slow improvement. But it's been steady," Lily said.

"Did you hear that, Harry?" Hermione said with a smile. "She says you're doing great!"

Harry stared at the wall, listening to the mindless chatter.

* * *

"Don't want to talk today?" Lily asked. "It's okay. We all have one of those days." Harry sat still, having ignored both his nurse and Draco that day. "Are you thinking about sad things, Harry? You shouldn't. There isn't anything to be sad about anymore. We will just–"

Draco exhaled forcefully, frustration bursting out of him. "Why are you talking to him like he's a child?" he asked.

Lily looked shocked. Harry was staring at Draco with wide eyes, startled by the harsh tone. "I told you not to speak," Lily said quickly. "He doesn't know your voi–"

"He's known me for seven bloody years! Of course he knows my voice!" Draco exclaimed. "He's twenty-two! Not _five_."

"Get out," Lily said angrily.

"Gladly," Draco snapped, getting up on his feet. "No wonder he hasn't gotten better. You're coddling him to the point of insanity." Lily was quite close to hexing Draco. The man stomped towards the door.

Harry giggled.

Draco spun around in shock while Lily nearly fell over onto her side. Harry searched Draco's face, the residue of the laugh on his lips. After a few seconds, he went back to looking at his wall.

"I– I'll be right back, Harry," Lily stammered, struggling to her feet and pulling Draco out of the room with her. Draco was dragged to Healer Warren's office. He wasn't struggling. He had no idea what had just happened. Lily threw the door open. "Harry laughed!" she nearly squealed.

Joseph looked up in confusion. "I'm sorry?" he asked.

"Harry laughed!"

"Laughed?"

"Laughed at him," Lily said, jerking her thumb at Draco.

"I didn't do anything," Draco said quickly, holding up his hands in surrender.

"What did he do?" Joseph asked, getting up from behind his desk.

"Mr. Malfoy was ranting," Lily said, glaring at Draco, "and just as he was about to leave, Harry laughed at him."

"Ranting… Ranting about what? In front of Harry?" Joseph asked in disbelief.

Draco wasn't given a chance to answer. Lily interjected with, "He said that we treat Harry like he's five."

"Oh?" Joseph murmured with a hint of amusement. He walked towards Harry's room, Lily and Draco behind him. "I guess we'll have to stop doing that then, won't we?" He opened the door and stepped in, smiling at Harry. "Hello, Harry," he said, his wand out. He started on preliminary assessment charms while Harry looked up at him.

Lily sat down next to her patient with a cheek-splitting grin. "You're happy now, aren't you? Are you thinking happy thoughts?" she asked. Harry's eyes followed Joseph's wand warily. Draco hung back, unsure of whether he should be in the room.

"Vitals are good," Joseph murmured, crouching down on the other side of Harry. "I hope you realize that this is a wonderful improvement, Harry," he said.

Harry looked up at Draco. Draco felt his signature scowl dawning on his brow. Harry stared at the scowl. Then he bunched his face together, scowling back. Lily looked like she was going to choke. Joseph sat up, interested with the new appearance. Draco saw the scowl from Harry and his faltered, making room for surprise. His eyes grew wide and his jaw slackened. Harry's eyes grew as well and his jaw fell open. "Stop it," Draco snapped, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Stop it," Harry whispered haltingly, crossing his arms against his chest.

Joseph laughed rambunctiously while Lily tried to stop herself from hyperventilating. "You've done it now, Mr. Malfoy," the Healer said happily.

"What?" Draco asked, lost in Harry's world.

"What?" Harry repeated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Huge hugs to InsaneOrange, 13 eleMENTAL 31, Maiden of Books for their ideas and beta skills!**

* * *

After much coaxing on Lily's part, Draco found himself in Harry's room again. Except this time, instead of sitting beside Harry, he was sat directly in front of the patient – eye-to-eye. Lily stood off to the side, observing Harry's behavior. It was rather uncomfortable for Draco. He was staring at Harry with no exchange of words or expressions. Harry was blinking back at him, switching from looking through him to looking at him on occasion. Draco knew when Harry was lost in his thoughts; his pupils dilated and his eyes glazed over. When Harry was brought back to reality, his vision honed in on Draco. Draco wondered if Harry was as bored as he was. "Say something," Draco said sullenly.

Harry's eyes widened a bit. He seemed to be in awe of Draco. He looked down at his hands, blushing and shaking his head. Lily smiled at this display. "Just go with it," she told Draco.

"There's nothing here to go with. He's not saying a damned thing," Draco said in exasperation. "This is such a waste of time…" He glared at Harry. "Look, Potter. You may not have much to do with your life right now, but _I_ do. Talk already. I don't have all the time in the world."

"Shut up," Harry muttered.

Draco blinked. "Huh?" he asked.

Harry looked up at Draco. "Shut. Up," he said slowly and deliberately.

Draco gaped at him, then at Lily who was trying her darnedest not to laugh. "Fine," he said, his tone testy. He stared at a scratch on the hardwood floor. He absently traced the scuff, wondering how long he was supposed to sit there. Another finger joined his.

He flicked his eyes up at Harry, who was following his hand reverently and copying the same pattern on the floor. Draco stopped his hand. Harry did the same, staring at the pale, slender finger for the next motion. Draco lifted his finger an inch. Harry picked his finger up without hesitance. Draco brought his hand up and scratched his chin. Harry mirrored Draco. Draco scowled. Harry scowled. Draco dropped his hand in exasperation. Harry dropped his hand, watching Draco. They went back to staring at each other.

* * *

"I have wonderful news!" Joseph announced to Hermione and Ron.

"What?" they asked, the Healer's excitement putting a smile on their lips.

"Harry spoke again!"

Hermione gasped while Ron's eyes bugged out. "He spoke?"

"He spoke, he laughed, he frowned, he can do nearly everything," Joseph said. "This is an amazing sign. His senses are intact and he hasn't regressed."

"B– but– but how?" Ron stammered.

"Apparently Mr. Malfoy's behavior is rather amusing to Harry. He laughed when Mr. Malfoy stormed out of his room. Then he started mimicking Mr. Malfoy's actions – facial expressions, body movements, speech. That was yesterday. And today, he told Mr. Malfoy to shut up."

"Oh god," Hermione breathed, near tears. She hid her face in her hands, trying to stop her hysterics. Ron wrapped an arm around her while a grin grew on his face that he was sure wouldn't go away for long time.

"So far, he only responds to Mr. Malfoy. But we have noticed an increase in social interactions with Lily and myself. He might even smile for you two," Joseph said, getting up. "Let's see, shall we?"

The couple stumbled after Healer Warren, shaking with anticipation. They spotted Harry on the floor. Except this time he was staring out the window. Joseph led them in. He sat down next to Harry and brought his hand up in front of Harry's eyes.

"Hello, Harry. I've brought Ron and Hermione with me today," he said softly. Harry blinked at the hand and looked at Joseph. Joseph gestured behind him at the couple. Harry flicked his eyes at Ron and Hermione. Then he went back to looking out the window. Joseph nodded at the couple. They shuffled closer and sat down next to Harry.

"Hey, Harry," Hermione said thickly, wiping away her tears. "I'm so glad to hear that you're doing better."

Ron chuckled and said, "We heard you told Malfoy to shut up. You're as sharp as ever, aren't you?"

Harry got up silently and moved towards the window. Ron and Hermione looked at Joseph. He waved them down. Harry pressed his hand against the glass, his eyes scanning the green field and blue sky rapidly. Then he turned around and slid down to the floor, his back to the window. He looked at Ron and Hermione carefully. Hermione had to hold in her happy sobs with a hand to her mouth. Ron was grinning.

Harry smiled uncertainly.

Hermione was a mess now, getting up and turning away as she felt relief course over her. Ron scrambled towards Harry and hugged him tight. He felt the man stiffen under him. He swore and let go. Harry moved away, his smile gone and his eyes expressing confusion. "Sorry, mate," Ron apologized, putting distance between him and his best friend. Harry blinked at him, then pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them close. He looked up at Hermione. Ron dragged his wife back down to the ground and held her. "He'll be okay now," Ron whispered giddily. Hermione let out a shaky breath while nodding and smiling.

* * *

"Now, I want you to place your right hand on his left shoulder," Lily said softly.

Draco balked at the thought. "Really?" he asked in reluctance.

"Yes. Really," Lily muttered, glaring at Draco. He brought his hand up and placed it on Harry's shoulder. Harry moved away and Draco retracted his arm. "As you can see, he doesn't respond well to touch," Lily explained.

"So?"

"So now, we get him to reflect you," she said. "Trace something on the floor with your finger." Draco did as he was told, drawing random loops. Harry's finger soon joined his. "Pick your finger up." Draco lifted his finger off the ground and Harry did the same. "Touch your finger to your nose."

"Are you trying to make me look mental?" Draco grumbled, doing as he was told nonetheless. Harry followed his suit, bringing his finger up to the tip of his nose.

"Now place your right hand on his left shoulder," Lily instructed. Draco touched Harry's shoulder with his hand. Harry slapped it away. Lily laughed. "Very good!" she exclaimed. "He is being aggressive with his methods now," she told Draco. "He usually doesn't pay much attention to the touch. He just moves away passively. Hitting your hand away means he is actively trying to stop you from touching him."

"You make me sound like a pervert," Draco drawled.

Harry laughed.

While all sound left Lily, Draco was just getting started. "See? He understands every single word you're saying to him! He's just a bloody good actor," he raved. "You just need to knock some sense into him. I'd be glad to do it for you." Harry placed his hand on Draco's shoulder. Draco slapped it away. "Don't touch me, you nutter!" he exclaimed, scooting away.

"Mr. Malfoy!" Lily admonished, moving to sit beside Harry.

Harry crawled towards Draco, causing Lily to pause. Draco stared at the advancing man with wide eyes. "What are you doing?" he asked, scrambling back. Harry kept moving towards him. "Stop." Harry didn't pay attention. "Potter, stop!" Draco's back hit the wall and he groaned. Harry stopped now, reaching out to touch Draco's shoulder. Draco hit his hand away. Harry tried again. Draco growled in frustration, pushing Harry's hand back.

Harry slapped Draco's cheek. Draco gasped in shock as his head snapped to the side.

"Harry!" Lily exclaimed.

Draco's eyes hardened and he brought them up to meet Harry's. His open palm blurred and a resounding slap caused Harry to flinch and nearly fall. The two men froze, as though time was still.

Then they sprung.

Draco pinned Harry to the ground. Harry punched up, catching Draco's jaw. He grunted, grabbing Harry's wrist and dealing a jab to Harry's nose with his other fist. Harry kneed Draco's leg sharply. Draco bunched Harry's collar and slammed him onto the ground. Harry wrapped his legs around Draco and whipped him to the ground with unbidden strength. Now Draco was trapped under Harry. He dealt an errant hit to Draco's nose.

That was as far as they got. They were pulled apart an instant later.

"You broke my nose, you bastard!" Draco shouted.

"You broke mine!" Harry roared, brushing the blood off of his lips.

"You deserved it," Draco spat out.

"Fuck you," Harry swore.

They were met with silence. They were suddenly aware of the five other people gathered in the room, all watching the exchange. Harry sighed and crumpled to the ground, hitting his head jarringly. That sprung the attendants into action.

* * *

"You _fought_ with my patient?" Joseph thundered.

"He started it," Draco muttered morosely, touching his sore nose. It had been fixed, but it was tender and red now. "He hit me first. Lily saw it."

Joseph looked at Lily. She nodded hesitantly. "Harry hit Mr. Malfoy first."

"See?"

"If he hit you first, you don't respond with a hit," Joseph reprimanded. "He has a broken nose and concussion now."

"He broke my nose and jaw!" Draco exclaimed. "That doesn't matter?"

"You have all your senses and he doesn't. So don't–"

"He had enough sense to hit me and then _cuss_ at me!" Draco interrupted.

Joseph breathed in sharply before letting it out in ten seconds. "I have half the mind to report this to the Minister," he muttered.

"Oh, you have got– are you– you aren't serious!" Draco said in disbelief. "I'm going to be sent to Azkaban for _hitting_ that retard?"

Joseph's jaw clicked. "One more slip up and you _will_ be reported. Understood? Assault on a patient is neither accepted nor tolerated."

Draco slumped against the chair, wincing as his sudden movement sent a pang of pain into his nose.

* * *

"Broke his nose?" Ron shouted, clenching his fist. "You couldn't stop him for breaking Harry's nose?" Hermione was as enraged at Ron, but she kept her lips sealed.

"Harry started the fight," Joseph added.

Ron clicked his mouth shut. "What? Harry… what?"

"Harry started it. It escalated from Harry's slap. Draco had a broken nose and fractured jaw too. So, to be fair, they are both to blame here," Joseph said, trying to keep the peace.

"How– both– Malfoy probably instigated it!"

"Draco was following our instructions."

"Where is Harry now?" Hermione asked.

"We have him sedated. He responded to Draco's rather vocal taunts. He even swore at the man. Then he fell unconscious. That's how he got the concussion. Until further tests are done, I am going to keep him sedated," Joseph said.

"You promised! You said nothing would happen to Harry," Hermione said.

"Just give me another week. That's all I ask," Joseph said, almost pleading.

"Do you understand how many ethical protocols you are breaking?" Ron snapped.

"Harry is getting better! Who knows what another week will do?"

Ron was about to retort sharply, but Hermione stopped him by clearing her throat. "One week. If Harry gets another scratch on him, your job is on the line, Healer Warren," she said. The couple glared at Joseph and stormed out of the room. Joseph sighed despondently.

* * *

Harry wouldn't look at Draco. "He's sulking," Lily said, smiling at her patient. Draco wasn't interested in explanations. He wanted out of the mental asylum. "If you apologize, he might look at you again."

"Like hell I'm apologizing," Draco said defensively. "He should be the one apologizing to me, that prick."

"No name calling," Lily scolded.

"I'm not a child!" Draco muttered.

"You are certainly acting like one," she said.

"Whatever." Draco got up, stretching out his numb legs. He had been sitting there for the better part of an hour while Lily tried to coax Harry into looking at him. He was tired and hungry. Here he was, stuck in this room with a lunatic and his sidekick. He shuddered, walking to the window. The grounds were always empty. He wondered why.

He pressed his head against the cold glass and closed his eyes. He had had the worst day. Just going to the bank had been an ordeal in itself. Every time he tried to withdraw money, he had to pass through multitudes of security and an almost interrogatory type questioning. He was only allowed to withdraw a certain allowance every month, which meant that he had to go through the humiliating ordeal every time he visited Gringotts. The goblins were hostile and the wizards and witches were antagonizing. On top of that, he would be wanded in lobby before he was allowed to enter the vaults. It was as though the world wasted no time in making Draco's life a living hell.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned. He staggered back when he met with Harry's doleful eyes. "I'm sorry," Harry murmured hoarsely.

"Huh?" Draco asked in astonishment, leaning against the window to put more distance between them. Harry didn't speak. He let go of Draco's shoulder and walked back to his bed. He sat down wordlessly, keeping his eyes on the ground.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Lily asked, placing a hand over Harry's. He moved away. Lily smiled sadly. "Okay," she said. "That was really sweet of you." She glared at Draco, who was looking like a deer caught in headlights. Harry pulled his legs up onto the bed and lay down on the covers, facing the wall.

"What's wrong with him?" Draco asked.

"He's just tired," Lily said, keeping the worry out of her voice. "I don't think he will be talking to you again today. You can go home."

"Oh…" Draco murmured. He straightened up and took a calming breath. Just as he was about to leave, he heard a soft gasp.

"Are you crying?" Lily asked, getting up and walking to the head of the bed to look at Harry. "Oh," she groaned, flicking her eyes at Draco. "I have to get the Healer," she said, rushing out of the room. "Stay here with him."

Draco stood where he was, watching Harry's back shiver at intervals. All he heard was irregular breathing. He moved towards the man, standing where Lily had been. Harry had his eyes squeezed shut and insistent tears dripping down to the pillow. His lips were stained red. Draco saw a hint of white against them. Harry was chewing on his lips. "Fuck," Draco swore, turning Harry onto his back. "Stop," he said forcibly. Harry didn't let out a sound, his teeth working into his lips to stifle his sobs. "Potter, stop," Draco said, placing hands on either side of Harry's jaw and forcing it open.

Harry screamed in anguish. Draco let go, alarmed. Harry's teeth clamped shut and he held in his screams. Blood trickled from the corner of his mouth. Draco staggered to the side of Harry's bed and sat down, holding Harry's mouth open again. Harry screamed, but this time Draco didn't let go. Blood was dripping down faster now that Harry's mouth was open. "Don't bite your lips," Draco ordered loudly. "Don't bite your lips!" He let go of Harry's jaw. Harry went back to stopping his screams by gnawing on his mangled lips.

Draco forced Harry's mouth open, feeling desperate. "You're hurting yourself, Harry," Draco tried explaining. Harry's screams grew in fervor and his body was starting to tremble. Draco placed his hand inside Harry's mouth before letting go of his jaw. Harry bit down. Draco winced as the teeth broke his skin. Harry sobbed and opened his eyes, letting go of Draco's hand. He scrambled up and threw himself at Draco, wailing. His arms wound around Draco's neck and legs around Draco's waist. Draco hugged Harry close.

"I'm sorry," Draco whispered urgently. "I'm sorry too."

Harry nodded, crying into Draco's shoulder. His blood stained Draco's shirt and his tears mixed into it. Joseph and Lily approached now, having watched the two since Harry bit down on Draco's hand. The Healer pressed his wand on Harry, causing the man to fall limp. His head lolled to the side. Joseph then healed Harry's lips and Draco's hand. He helped Draco lay Harry on the bed.

Draco was shaking when he got up, nearly falling to his knees. Joseph held him up and escorted him out of the room. Draco felt bile rise up and he staggered towards the washroom. He threw the door open and knelt by the toilet, retching. Joseph cast another charm on Draco, settling his stomach. Draco sat down heavily, resting his head against the tiled wall. Joseph sat down next to him, casting assessment charms on the man who was clearly in shock.

"What's wrong with him?" Draco asked.

"Things are going right," Joseph corrected.

"He was hurting himself! He was trying to chew his lips off!" Draco exclaimed, tears of helplessness pooling in his eyes.

"He hasn't cried in five years, Draco," Joseph said quietly.

Draco pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. "I can't do this," he breathed. "I can't do this anymore."

"He is getting better. I know you don't think so, but it's true. He is progressing exponentially. He is talking, for Merlin's sake!" Joseph said, trying to make Draco understand. "He is interacting with you. He is laughing, he is fighting, he is crying. You are giving him what he needs."

"I'm hurting him…"

"No, Draco. You are helping him."

* * *

"He's been talking in his sleep," Lily informed Joseph. "Most often, he has nightmares."

"What does he talk about?" the Healer asked.

"It's like he's trying to escape from something. Usually he says, 'Let me go.' He cries too. He calls out names sometimes – his friends and family. Occasionally, he's unaware that he is awake. Even after he gets out of bed, he has these… hallucinations."

"Good," Joseph murmured absently. "Next time he has one of these, please let me know."

"Of course."

* * *

Harry looked up the moment Lily and Draco entered. "Hi, Harry," Lily cooed, smiling at Harry. Draco walked sluggishly, wary of his every movement. "I brought Draco," she said, waving towards Draco.

Harry looked away, fingers fiddling with his shirt. Lily motioned for Draco to sit down in front of Harry. Harry kept his eyes on his hem. "Potter," Draco greeted.

"Hmm…" Harry murmured.

Draco blinked at Harry. "What?"

"Nothing," Harry said, touching his scar absently.

Draco frowned. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing."

Draco poked Harry's arm. Harry looked up. "What?" Draco asked again.

Harry looked at Draco's hand. "I bit you."

"It's healed now."

Harry glanced at Draco's face, searching his expression. "Aren't you angry?" he asked.

Draco frowned. "I guess not," he said carefully.

Harry nodded, going back to twisting his hem in his fingers. "Hmm…"

* * *

Lily let Joseph into the room. Harry was twitching in bed, using his hands to push away from the wall. "Let me go," he mumbled, sighing. "Just let me go."

"Have you tried waking him up?" Joseph asked.

"I wasn't sure if it was wise," Lily answered.

"Don't," Harry muttered. "Don't hurt them."

Joseph approached the bed and watched Harry's behavior. The man was shaking from either fear or anger. His face had a faint sheen of sweat on it. His legs were tangled against the covers and he was trying to get them free. His arms strained against the wall, trying to force it down. Joseph cast a simple charm on Harry, causing him to inhale sharply and open his eyes. Joseph noticed the dilated pupils and distant gaze. Harry was still trapped in his nightmare.

He sat up and frantically tried to push the covers off of him. "Let me go, let me go," he said breathlessly. He nearly fell out of bed. Joseph caught him. Harry pressed his back against the Healer's arm, staring at the wall. "Get away from me! Not yet. Not yet," he shouted in rage, balling his fists and bringing them up. Joseph held him steady. Harry blinked, a throaty rasp leaving him as he woke up. He felt hands on his arm and he turned around in fright.

"Just us, Harry," Joseph said warmly, letting go of his patient.

"Just a dream," Harry murmured, looking at the wall again.

"That's right," Joseph nodded encouragingly. "Just a dream. What was this dream about?"

Harry looked at Lily, then at Joseph. "Just a dream," he said, laying back down and turning away from them.

* * *

Ron and Hermione looked on helplessly as Harry curled into himself in the corner of the room and cried. Lily tried to calm down the sane couple. "You don't understand," she explained for the umpteenth time. "He is expressing what he is feeling. Instead of holding it in, he's letting it out."

"Why? Why is he so sad? Can't you– please, you need to–" Hermione broke off, her words choking her.

"It will be best to let him be. He will tire himself out. You guys came at the wrong time, that's all. He talks quite a bit now," Lily said, trying to reassure them.

"What does he say?" Ron asked, hoping for the best.

"He acknowledges me when I walk into the room, usually smiling or saying hi. He is moving around more. He talks about you two. He asks me how you guys are doing," Lily said.

"He does?" Hermione breathed, staring at Harry's defeated figure crouched on the floor.

"He does. He is getting better," Lily said firmly.

* * *

Draco entered the room, yawning. It had been a restless night and Joseph insisted that he meet Harry at eight in the morning. After spending an hour cursing the world while getting ready, Draco was dead tired and in no mood for exercising patience with Harry. So he was taken aback when he found Harry staring at him as he walked in. The patient had his legs outstretched, moving his feet to a silent rhythm. He was leaning against his hands, locking his elbows and hunching his shoulders. Draco narrowed his eyes when he spotted the slight smile on Harry's lips. He looked at Lily, who shrugged at him.

"What now?" Draco asked.

"You keep visiting. That's strange," Harry said.

"If I had a choice, think I'd come here?" Draco asked.

They were silent for the rest of two hours.

* * *

"It's been a week."

Joseph was at the end of his rope. Now he was doing everything he could to stay on. "His condition is improving. He is eating on his own, conversing with Lily, showing appropriate emotions–"

"Now you can proceed without Malfoy," Hermione said.

"He is the reason for Harry's progress."

"He's also the reason for Harry's injuries," Ron deadpanned.

"Yes, but–"

"I want Malfoy to be taken out of the treatment regiment and that's final," Hermione demanded.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to 13 eleMENTAL 31 and InsaneOrange for awesome beta skills!**

* * *

"He asked for you," Joseph said, looking at Draco with purpose. "I want you to keep him talking. Get anything you can out of him. He may not be coherent. He gets lost in his mind. Try to keep him moving in one steady train of thought."

"Okay," Draco said, unsure if he was qualified to do this. "Are you coming in?" He hoped the answer was yes.

"Lily is. He wanted to see both of you," Joseph answered. He opened the door and let Draco in. Lily was already inside, sitting on the bed beside Harry.

Harry acknowledged Draco, motioning him towards the chair that he had pulled up closer to the bed. Draco sat down, fidgeting. Harry stared at Draco without inhibition. "I didn't really need you here," he said. Draco frowned in confusion. "But I figured… might as well." Lily nodded in encouragement. Harry touched his scar. "I need to tell someone before I died, you know? I thought just telling Lily would be enough. But maybe you should hear it too. It's about Narcissa Malfoy."

Draco let out a loud breath of air, sitting back. "What?" he asked.

"That night in the Forbidden Forest… Voldemort tried to kill me. He couldn't. But he didn't know that. I pretended to be dead," Harry said, chuckling lightly. "Who knew it would be so easy? He asked Narcissa to check if I was still breathing. I was. But when she found that out, all she asked was, 'Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?' I remember it so well… She was so scared. And last time I checked, you were alive, so I said yes.

"She told everyone that I was dead."

Lily was pale while Draco couldn't breathe. "What are you saying?" he stammered.

"She saved my life. She saved your life. I needed to tell you," Harry said nonchalantly. "Where is she right now?"

"Azkaban…"

"Now she won't be," Harry smiled. "I always wondered why I couldn't die. I know now. I forgot to do something. This. I was supposed to tell everyone about Narcissa. She never used Unforgivable Curses and she didn't kill anyone. Why is she in there?"

Lily shook out of her daze. "Are you sure, Harry?"

"Quite sure, actually," Harry said, looking distant. "Hagrid was there. But I don't think he would remember. He was crying all over everything." He laughed again, thinking back. "I just want Draco to have his mother back. Even if I can't, he can, right?"

Draco couldn't breathe. He stumbled off of the chair and rushed out of the room. He needed air. He fell to his knees in the corridor, hyperventilating. Horror washed over him. He had made himself hate his parents for years. He had hated them to the point of forgetting what they looked like. They were the reason he was looked upon with revulsion. They were the reason he had a permanent reminder of the Dark Lord on his arm. They were the reason for his tears and pain. They had left him alone in the world. He had been alone for so long. He had thought that all his parents held for him was loathing and anger. Not love. He couldn't remember what his mother looked like.

And now Harry was telling him that Narcissa had been trying to save him that night. He was frantic, clutching his head as he tried to remember what she looked like. What did she feel like? How did he not notice her protection? What had she sounded like? He couldn't remember because he had made himself forget.

"What's wrong?"

Draco jerked at the words, looking at Harry's concerned eyes. He glanced away, hiding his face in his hands. He heard people gathering around them and he tried to pull himself together. He couldn't. Not with Harry's words in his mind. '_Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?_' The woman whom he had vowed to hate had said those words. She had risked her life to try and find him. "I don't remember her," he whispered.

Harry blinked at the man. "Is that all?" he asked, smiling faintly. "That's okay. You'll see her soon enough. Um… She had lots of blond hair. And she was quite tall. She always looked mean though. I don't know what her smile looks like." He paused, scratching his ear absently. "Can she smile?"

Draco chuckled miserably, wiping his tears. "I don't know. I guess," he said.

"Maybe when you see her again, she'll smile…"

Draco looked up at Harry. "Yeah," he said hoarsely.

"You don't have to visit me anymore," Harry said, patting Draco's head as though he were talking to a child. "I already told you everything. You've been so patient with me. Stop scowling so much. It'll get stuck," he laughed happily. "Goodbye." He got up and walked back into his room.

"Wait," Draco stuttered. The door eased shut. Draco clenched his teeth, biting back his sobs. He felt arms lifting him up and leading him to a chair in the corridor. He blinked back his tears, noticing the crowd of hospital staff around him. He needed to get out of here before he went insane like Harry. He got up unsteadily and pushed past the crowd. He needed to think. He needed to start fresh.

* * *

"Even after we gave you explicit instructions, you let Malfoy near Harry?" Ron asked, his voice dangerously low.

"Harry spoke again," Joseph said quickly.

"I don't _fucking_ care if he spoke again. You let Malfoy near him again," Ron said with finality.

"But we found out why–"

"I am tired of your excuses," Ron spat out. "You are supposed to keep him safe! You are supposed to take care of him! And all you're doing is putting that bastard and Harry in the same room so you can see all bloody hell break loose!"

"Ron," Hermione warned, placing a calm hand on his.

"Harry spoke because he wanted to tell us about Narcissa Malfoy," Joseph said loudly.

Ron frowned. "About who?"

"Draco's mother. Harry wanted to tell us about what happened that night in the forest. Narcissa lied to You-Know-Who to save Draco's life. She saved Harry's life. He wanted us to know. That's why he spoke. Do you understand?"

Ron looked at Hermione in puzzlement. Hermione shook her head. "I'm sorry. What?" she asked.

"There is to be a retrial in Narcissa Malfoy's case. Lily is the primary witness since Harry won't be able to testify."

Ron massaged his temple. "Why can't he testify?" he asked tiredly.

Joseph shifted uncomfortably. "He… he has lost all progress we had made with Draco. He won't speak."

* * *

Harry had his chin on his knees and his arms wrapped around his bent legs. He was staring at the wall again, lost in his mind. Hermione hid her face against Ron, trying not to cry. Ron closed his eyes, looking away.

"It's like the past three years didn't happen," Lily explained. "He doesn't respond to prompts, doesn't try to interact with me, and isn't interested in anything I have to say."

"Is it because… because Malfoy's not visiting anymore?" Ron asked.

"We can't force him to come any longer. Not with the trials and all," Lily said, looking at Harry. "I can't be sure why he has regressed."

"What did he say?" Hermione asked jerkily.

Lily sighed. "He said… he said he needed us to know. He needed to tell us what had happened so that Draco… so that Draco could have his mother back."

Ron and Hermione kept silent, watching their best friend.

"You know what's going to happen now, right?" Lily asked nervously. "The press is going to want to get a hold of him. They are going to want to interview him. They are going to want to see him."

"Like hell they will," Ron muttered.

* * *

Breathe.

In.

Let it out.

In.

Exhale.

Harry turned in bed, between sleep and wakefulness. Breathe.

Take it in.

Hold.

Hold.

Hold.

Harry felt the urge in his chest and he exhaled forcefully before gulping in more air.

Hold. Count. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, six–

Gasp.

Harry bunched his covers against his chest, curling his knees to his chest.

Breathe.

In.

Hold.

His limbs felt weak and heavy. Hold. His head was swimming with white noise. Hold. His body bucked. Hold. His eyes shot open.

He coughed and gasped.

Breathe in.

Hold. Count. One, two, three, four, five…

His vision flickered and he closed his eyes from exhaustion. This was such an effort. Breathing was too hard. Not breathing was too hard. He relaxed into his aching body. He convulsed and lost count. He started over.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven–

Gasp.

Breathe.

In.

Hold.

Lily found Harry in bed, curled towards the wall. She almost walked by. Then she caught the twitching. She burst into the room and rolled Harry around. "Harry, wake up," she said urgently. He was paling and wheezing. "Can't you breathe?" she asked, sounding the emergency alarm.

Hold.

Put everything on hold.

Harry was done with everything.

He coughed and gasped. Breathe in.

Hold.

Harry couldn't remember how to count any longer. He couldn't understand anything. He was being pushed and pulled. His body wasn't cooperating with his mind. Not hold. Stop. His body fell limp at the thought.

Not hold.

Don't hold. Don't count.

Just stop.

Harry's chest burst, sending waves of pain into his limbs. He felt spells tugging at him, trying to open his airway. He wasn't going to let go without a fight. He tightened his diaphragm and sealed his nasal cavity by constricting his throat. His fingers grappled the sheets. Harry refused studiously, fighting against his dying body with his stubborn mind.

Fighting.

This is the wrong fight.

Count. One, two, three, four…

Harry couldn't feel anything. He couldn't feel the pain or the torture of his lungs.

But this is the wrong fight.

Five, six, seven, eight, nine…

A sharp jolt on his chest caused him to inhale sharply and get the air caught in his dry throat. He coughed, trying to drag in more air than he was letting out. He retched, panting.

Breathe.

In.

Let it out.

Don't fight. Don't fight anyone. Don't fight yourself. Breathe. Don't stop. Breathe.

* * *

_In lieu of recently uncovered evidence, Narcissa Malfoy will be placed under house arrest for the rest of the term, pending reevaluation._

* * *

Draco waited outside Wizengamot, plagued by reporters and flashes of bulbs. He was dressed in his best suit. He fingered his wand in his pocket, keeping a watchful eye on the crowd that was gathered around the stairs.

The release of Narcissa Malfoy had caused uproars and chaos. If she was being released then what of the rest of Voldemort's Army? Are they to be released eventually? What of Harry Potter? What evidence was used to help exempt Narcissa from her charges?

The large doors opened to reveal four Azkaban guards and a thin blonde amidst them. Draco's heart lurched painfully. Narcissa blinked and frowned, shading her eyes from the sun. She looked deathly pale and gaunt. Her clothes hung from thin limbs and her straight locks of hair were tied into a haphazard ponytail. Her steps were no longer sure. Her gaze was no longer strong.

Draco moved towards her, the sounds around him falling away. Her blue eyes moved to Draco, almost flickering away. But recognition struck and she froze, her expression betraying her fright. Her hands clasped together and her legs locked up. Draco shook his head, smiling wanly. He walked up to her and hugged her close. "Hi," he whispered.

Narcissa broke down in her son's arms, her knees giving way. He held her up, feeling her heart against his. "Draco?" she murmured hoarsely.

"It's me," Draco said.

She pulled away from Draco and held his face in her trembling hands. She kissed his cheeks, happy tears running down her face. "I love you so much, Draco," she said softly, gazing into her son's steady eyes. She used his strength to pull herself to her full height. "I'm sorry for everything. I love you so much," she murmured, embracing him.

"I love you," Draco breathed, his heart soaring. He felt tears in his eyes, spilling as he buried his face against his mother's shoulder. "Don't ever leave me again, okay?"

"I won't. I won't ever do that."

* * *

Joseph sat next to Harry, stretching his legs out in front of him. "I have something to ask you, Harry," he said. "I know you can't answer me. I know you won't answer me. But I just need to ask it." Harry stared at the white, drowning in it. "It's something Draco told me. And something you told me too, I suppose. You said that you couldn't die because you still needed to tell the world about Narcissa. You wanted us to know the truth before you died."

Joseph ran an absent hand over his white hair, thoughtful as he spoke. "Draco asked me how I knew you wanted to live like this. He asked how I knew that you didn't want to be dead. I think… I think I've figured it out now."

Harry closed his eyes.

"Right now, you think you're dead, don't you? Draco was right. You don't want to live like this. By being away from everything and everyone, you're dead... I'm right, aren't I?"

Harry didn't answer.

* * *

Draco sat in bed, resting his back on the bedpost. Narcissa was asleep. She had been sleeping for almost the entire day. She was under house arrest, which meant that there were charms placed around the mansion to stop her from leaving. She had on a magical marker that the Aurors were able to track. Their Floo was dismantled. There was no Apparition allowed in the manor.

Draco had a sneaking suspicion that Narcissa won't want to leave her feathery pillow for the next ten years anyway.

He crawled towards her and lay down, wrapping a hesitant arm around her. She turned over at this, causing Draco to jerk and pull his arm back. She opened her eyes and smiled. She hugged her son close, kissing his soft hair. He closed his eyes, a matching smile on his lips. They drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"It doesn't look good," Joseph concluded.

Ron and Hermione were more than concerned after Joseph had explained Harry's condition. "What's going to happen?" Hermione asked.

"We have to keep a close watch on him. He never used to be like this. He is almost suicidal now. I am not sure if he realizes this. He wasn't coherent when we revived him. He had stopped breathing for a few minutes. But he didn't seem to notice. He just… stopped."

"Why?" Ron asked.

Joseph shook his head. "Many reasons – none of them good. I'm sure you know what I'm saying."

"He's not happy…"

"Perhaps he'd rather be dead than live like this," Joseph murmured, Draco's words echoing in him.

* * *

Narcissa was once again the lady of the Malfoy Manor. Draco watched his mother with insurmountable happiness as she straightened her once perfect home. She had her wand after years of being pulled away from it. She was clearing the manor of all things unpleasant, she had said. Draco sat on the couch with a cup of tea in his hands, staring after his mother as she flitted around the large drawing room. "I can't believe you let this house come to this, Draco," she scolded.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, hiding his smirk behind his cup.

"It'll take me _days_ to straighten it out."

"Take all the time you want," Draco said.

"Don't give me lip," Narcissa snapped.

Draco nodded, chuckling. To have someone to talk to was a relief unto itself. To have someone to talk to who didn't look at him with loathing was bliss. "I missed you, Mother," he said.

Narcissa turned to her son with a soft smile. "I missed you too…"

An hour later, they found themselves in the study. After her imprisonment, her energy reserves had lowered significantly. She wasn't able to work around the house for long hours as of yet. Neither minded. They saw this as a vacation from the world, where no one bothered them and they couldn't be bothered to bother about anyone.

Narcissa was on the chaise with her book while Draco laid his head on her lap, looking up at her. It was quiet and calm, something the Malfoy Manor had not seen. There was no more hate, no more anger. Draco turned over and hid his face against Narcissa's stomach. "I never took you as being one for cuddling, Draco," she said absently.

Draco blushed, scowling. "Maybe it's time to start," he retorted.

"Perhaps." She patted Draco's back, humming. Draco closed his eyes, content. "Can you tell me about the trial?" she asked.

"I don't know anything about it, Mother. I wasn't allowed inside," Draco said.

"This new evidence everyone's talking about. What is it?" she asked.

Draco looked at Narcissa. "You don't know?" he asked incredulously, sitting up.

"I wasn't told anything, Draco."

Draco frowned deeply. "It– it was Potter's testimony," he said.

Her eyes narrowed. "Potter's testimony?" she asked.

"He told me what happened that night. How you– you lied to save him and find me. He told me about you. He said that he– that he wanted me to know so that I– I could have you back. He wanted me to have you back," Draco explained hesitantly.

"I thought he was dead," Narcissa said in disbelief.

Draco shrugged half-heartedly. "Very much alive. Out of his mind, but very much alive," he murmured.

"Out of his mind? What? And… after all these years?" she asked, confused.

Draco looked away, feeling uneasy. "He's– something's wrong with him, Mother. He… he hasn't spoken in five years, did you know that?" Draco asked. Narcissa looked shocked.

"He's in the hospital. Post-traumatic stress is what they call it. Until a few months ago, he was nearly catatonic. Then I got a letter from his attending Healer. He told me that Harry asked for me. He wanted to try introducing me to Harry. He wanted to see if I could get a response from Harry. And… I did," he smiled awkwardly, shrugging as he wrung his hands.

"After a few weeks, he– he talked to me. He talked to me about you. He said that before he–" Draco swallowed thickly. "Um… he said that he wanted us to know about you. How you aren't supposed to be in Azkaban because you are supposed to be with me…"

"His testimony…"

"Yes."

"Potter…"

"Yes."

Narcissa nodded slowly.

* * *

The house was filled with strained silence. Hermione was on the couch, leaning her elbows on her knees and weaving her fingers together while watching Rose play. Ron was pacing the length of the room, hands in his pockets and eyes on his feet. Hermione murmured, "Maybe…"

Ron paused, looking at his wife. "Hmm," he answered, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Because I…" she trailed off.

Ron nodded, moving to sit beside her. "Me too. He'd do anything and everything for us. Shouldn't we do the same?" he asked.

"We should," Hermione murmured.

"Malfoy helped him so far. And right now…"

"Harry's not doing well. No matter how we go at this, we get to Malfoy, don't we?" she laughed humorlessly. "We need him. How pathetic are we? How damned pathetic is this?"

"How long do we shelter him, 'Mione? How long do we hide him?" Ron asked desperately. "If Malfoy helps, I'm… I'm willing to try it."

Hermione sat back on the sofa, looking up at the ceiling as tears slid down to her brown hair. "I'm so scared," she said, shuddering. "I don't– I don't know what to do. I've never felt so helpless."

Ron pulled Hermione close, kissing her gently. "It's what I'm here for," he whispered. "We'll work through this together, okay?"

* * *

That night in the forest, Narcissa was shocked into silence when Harry revealed himself to the Dark Lord. The Boy-Who-Lived was walking into the snake's lair. He looked small and frail. How is he the one who could destroy Lord Voldemort? Why is the burden on his shoulders? Narcissa watched her Master eye Harry as though he were a marvel, a toy to be played with. The man raised his wand while Harry stood with a determined stance. Why isn't the boy defending himself?

"_Avada Kedavra._"

Just as the spell hit Harry, both man and boy fell to the ground as though struck dead. Narcissa's heart thumped hopefully. The Dark Lord is dead? And she lived? Never had she thought it possible. She was rooted on the spot while the rest of the Death Eaters approached the Lord Voldemort. She had eyes for Harry Potter. Except, in his place, she saw her son. She saw Draco sprawled on the ground, unmoving and dead. She heard her mind screaming in pain at the thought as she looked on passively. Her body soon joined in the pain and she fell to the ground.

"Examine him. Tell me if he is dead."

No.

The Dark Lord was alive. She felt the Cruciatus Curse lifting off of her. She stood up shakily, staggering towards the fallen boy. A boy. Why did the boy die? What did the boy do? She knelt down and brushed a hand against Harry's cheek.

Still warm.

She pulled up his eyelid.

Constricting.

She had to stop herself from breathing in spurts. She moved her hand inside Harry's shirt. The soft heartbeat held strong. She knelt down, feeling the exhaled air rustle her hair.

"Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?"

She waited, feeling the pounding of Harry's heart and wishing it could be Draco's.

"Yes."

She gasped inaudibly, relief making her weak. She let go of Harry. She needed to be strong now. She needed to find her son. She needed to get into the castle. She would be willing to lie for her son. She would be willing to die for her son.

"He is dead!"

Narcissa shook herself out of her reverie, blinking at the expansive grounds of their manor. There were no more majestic peacocks. The hedges and grass were overgrown. The castle walls were mossy and ivy-ridden. But it was still her home. She was alive. She had her son. "Draco," she said, looking at him.

"Hmm?" he asked.

"I want to thank Potter."

He looked up at her in puzzlement. "You want to what?" he asked. His mother was the proudest of women. No thank you or sorry for her.

"But I can't leave… So could you…"

"You want me to _what_?" he asked, sitting up.

"We owe him so much, Draco," she said.

Draco blinked at Narcissa. How she had changed. She spent half her time in introspection. She had a faraway look in her eyes. And she was earnest. "You want to thank him."

"Yes."

Draco sighed and rolled his eyes.

* * *

Harry wouldn't move. He wouldn't get out of bed. He just couldn't be bothered. Why bother? He hugged himself, keeping warm. He could hear Lily's voice in the distance. He couldn't be bothered. Harry wouldn't move. He couldn't move. He felt lethargy dragging him down. He was bored. He was tired. He was here. Blissful bed. Where nothing mattered, not even him. He fell asleep for the fifth time in three hours.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you, InsaneOrange! This is one of my favorite chapters!**

* * *

Draco knocked on Healer Warren's door. "Come in," the muffled voice called out from inside. Draco let himself in. Joseph looked startled when he saw Draco. "Oh… Hello," he said uncertainly.

"Long time," Draco said, smiling.

Joseph was taken aback by the smile. "Y– yes. Long time indeed. What can I do for you, Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco sat down with a stifled sigh. "I know this is probably too much to ask, but I was wondering if I could see Potter…"

Joseph's eyes grew in shock. "You want to see Harry?" he asked in disbelief.

"Well, in reality, Mother does. But she's not allowed out of the house. She wanted me to thank him. I'll be out in a minute. I just wanted him to know that… that she's grateful," Draco said.

"I'm sorry," Joseph said, shaking his head. "It's just that Harry is– well, you see, he's… deteriorated."

Draco's heart dropped. "Deteriorated? How?" he asked.

Joseph toyed with his quill. "After you left, he– he was back to being unresponsive. He's not the same man you talked to, Mr. Malfoy. He won't understand."

Draco blinked at the desk. "After I left…" he echoed.

Joseph saw the guilt on Draco's face. "No, don't blame yourself. Harry getting better was improbable at best. The fact that he talked to you just goes to show that he is capable of doing so. It is normal for psych patients to get better before falling back into regular patterns." Joseph noticed the unchanging expression on Draco and he sighed. "You helped us realize his potential. You are not to blame here."

"I have to see him," Draco said, getting up.

"It wouldn't be wise to–" before Joseph could finish, Draco had exited the room and was striding down to Harry's room. Lily was inside with him. Draco entered without warning, startling Lily out of her words.

She looked surprised by his appearance. "Oh… You can't be here," she said.

"What's wrong with him?" Draco asked, rushing to Harry and kneeling in front of the man. Harry blinked as his view of the wall was obstructed. "What's wrong with you?" Draco asked Harry, grabbing his shoulders.

Harry blinked at Draco blankly. He let go of Harry, his own terror causing his chest to ache. "You have to leave, Draco," Lily said gently.

"No, I– he– why isn't– he needs to see me," Draco stammered. Joseph was in the room now, trying to pull Draco up. He shrugged off the hands. "Potter. Look at me," he said.

"Mr. Malfoy, you're going to agitate him," Joseph said.

"Good. I want him to be agitated," Draco muttered, bringing his hand up to touch Harry's shoulder. Harry inched away. Draco stopped him with the other hand. Lily tried to pry Harry out of Draco's grip while Joseph tried dragging him up. "Look at me," Draco ordered. Harry was looking through him.

Joseph couldn't risk casting a spell, lest he hit his patient. He called for security. Draco squeezed Harry's shoulders painfully. "Fuck it, Potter. I'm right here! Don't ignore me!" he swore, trying to shake Harry out of his trance. Draco forced Harry to keep his eyes from straying by placing hands on either side of his face. The security wizards grabbed Draco by his shirt, hoisting him up. "Look at me!" he said frantically, pushing at the guards. Harry hadn't even flinched when Draco was dragged away, kicking and screaming. "LOOK AT ME!"

Harry placed his chin on his knees and stared at his wall that was now free of obstructions. Lily wiped her tears, following Joseph out of the room. Draco was pushed onto the chair in the corridor with wands pointed at him menacingly. He didn't notice the wands because he had hidden his face in his hands and rested his elbows on his knees, silent. Joseph waited for a few minutes. Draco didn't show any other signs of aggression. He hesitantly waved the guards back. He stood in front of Draco. "He has changed," he said softly. "He's not the same person you saw a month ago."

"I shouldn't have left."

"He was getting better because he wanted to. Now he doesn't want to. It has nothing to do with you," the Healer explained.

"Why wouldn't he want to?"

Joseph glanced at the security wizards, nodding at them to leave. He only spoke after they were out of earshot. "He doesn't want to because he doesn't have to get better. He thinks he's done everything now and he can die," Joseph murmured. "Do you remember how he said he couldn't die before because he had forgotten to tell the world about Narcissa? Now that he's told the world…"

"He's waiting to die?" Draco breathed.

Lily was by the window, watching over Harry. Joseph sat down on the chair beside Draco, weary. "I shouldn't be talking to you," he said, sighing. "If Mr. Weasley finds out…" He stared at the painting in front of him. The morose sea was rolling waves against the dark cliff with no end in sight; forever crashing into the rocks. "He's tried already."

Draco pressed his hands to his ears, not wanting to hear anything else. "No," he said stubbornly.

"He tried to suffocate himself. He was holding his breath. Most of our spells couldn't make him breathe. Do you understand how strong his will to die is?"

Tears slipped out of Draco. "This can't be happening. Not to him," he said hoarsely, brushing his cheeks with the back of his hand. "He was never like this."

"Like I said, this isn't the same person. Maybe the person you know is dead already. You can't expect him to be the same. That would be asking too much of him," said Joseph, leaning back on his chair.

"Isn't there anything I can do?" Draco asked, trying to ease the tightening in his throat.

Joseph glanced the man beside him. "I'm afraid not. You aren't allowed near Harry. Not without permission."

"If I were?"

"Anything and everything is worth a shot," Joseph answered.

Draco nodded, swallowing his desperation.

* * *

Before Joseph could speak, Ron said, "We've been thinking about Harry's treatment and… we want to try Malfoy again."

Joseph closed his mouth, his teeth clicking. "We are willing to try anything we can," Hermione murmured, pale and drawn.

"Oh…"

"Even if it means having Harry go through some shit. If Malfoy helps, then… who are we to deny treatment?" Ron asked helplessly.

"Oh…" The couple waited while Joseph looked from one to the other in blatant confusion. "So… you _want_ to use Mr. Malfoy?" he reiterated, wanting to make sure he hadn't misheard.

Hermione massaged her temple, closing her eyes. "I know it will be difficult to convince him. But we'll talk with him and work everything out," she said.

"Actually," Joseph murmured, "that won't be necessary."

Ron frowned. "What? Why?" he asked.

Joseph rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the stress leave him. "He's already agreed," he said, smiling vaguely.

"Already… huh?"

"He was here yesterday. And he wants to work with Harry," the Healer explained.

Ron and Hermione gaped. "What was he– why did– he was _here_? He saw… he saw Harry?" Ron stammered.

"Yes, he was here. Yes, he saw Harry. And now he wants to help Harry get better."

The couple was speechless.

* * *

The doorbell rang in the Weasley residence. Ron opened it and gawked at Draco who was shifting his weight nervously on the landing. "Wh– you– um… I– how– er… Hello," Ron stuttered out.

"Hello," Draco answered.

They blinked at each other for a long while. It took Hermione walking into the foyer to break the trance. "Oh, Malfoy," she said, stopping in her tracks.

Draco looked over Ron's shoulder at Hermione. "Granger," he nodded.

"It's Weasley now," Hermione murmured with a soft smile. Draco nodded in response. "Um… come on in," she said, pulling Ron out of the way.

Draco stepped in hesitantly, wondering why he wasn't being chased away with pitchforks. Before they could move any further from the foyer, he blurted out, "I wanted to talk to you about Potter."

Hermione nodded slowly. "We deduced as much," she said.

"Look, I know you don't have a high opinion of me," Draco said stiffly. "But I was able to make Potter better last time and I wanted to ask that you let me do the same this time."

Ron's brows went up. "Oh, we already talked to Joseph about that," he said.

"I'm sorry?" Draco asked.

"We already talked to Joseph about letting you be part of the treatment," Hermione explained. "We were there yesterday. I thought he… I guess he didn't tell you."

Draco flicked his narrowed eyes at the two. "So… you will let me visit him?" he asked.

"As long as you don't break his nose again, I guess we will," Ron said, scowling at Draco.

"Oh… okay," Draco murmured. "That was easier than I thought it would be."

Hermione allowed herself a wry smile. "Why, exactly, do you want to help him?" she asked.

"Damned if I know," Draco said, shrugging.

* * *

"We won't be able to try the same methods as before because Harry isn't responding to my prompts anymore," Lily said. "It will be _very_ slow progress."

"Okay," Draco said.

"He doesn't even acknowledge me when I show him my hand. That puts us back three years, understand?"

"Yes."

Lily led Draco into the room. They sat beside Harry like they used to. Lily held her hand out in front of Harry's eyes. He didn't focus in on it. "Hi, Harry," she said quietly. "How are you today?" She wasn't receiving a response. "I brought Draco in as well. Remember him?" He stared at the wall. "When you're ready to talk, we'll listen to every word. You know that, right?" Lily asked.

"People still need you, Potter," Draco said, lost in thought. "You've spent five years thinking, haven't you? How awful must Weaslette be doing right now? Ever thought of that?" Harry stayed as he was. Draco smiled wanly, "She probably dumped your sorry arse though."

"Hmm… yes, wonder what became of Ginny," Lily pondered. Draco looked at her questioningly. "Well," she said, "She used to visit quite often for the first year. Then she just stopped coming."

"It's quite hard holding a conversation with a catatonic boyfriend, I'd imagine," Draco said in mild sarcasm. "You could at least try to fake it, Potter."

"Were they close?" Lily asked.

Draco shrugged. "By the way they were snogging, I would have thought so," he drawled.

Lily laughed. "Oh, really?"

"Strange couple, though. Dating his best friend's sister isn't always the best idea," Draco noted.

"Strange," Lily echoed, smiling.

* * *

"What was he like?" Lily asked, pacing by the window while Draco sat with Harry.

"In school?"

"Yes. In school. What was Harry Potter like? I've always wondered," she murmured.

Draco flicked his eyes at Harry, smiling slyly. "Let's just say he wasn't all he was cracked up to be. Stunk at everything except Quidditch. Couldn't get a girl until sixth year. Lousy at punching straight. Had no personality to speak of."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm asking the wrong person, aren't I?"

"No," Draco answered. "I'm the perfect person to ask. Weasel would just toot Harry's horn for him. Besides, you know what they say. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." He smirked. Then he raised his brows as another thought popped into his head. "He nearly killed me, you know?"

Lily looked unimpressed. "I will never know what I should believe when it comes to you," she said.

"It's the truth," Draco said sincerely. "I've even got scars to prove it."

* * *

"How's it going with Potter?" Narcissa asked, looking at Draco quizzically.

Draco sighed loudly. "Like Lily said, we're back to square one. It's going nowhere with Potter," he said, searching for sympathy.

Narcissa sat next to Draco, wrapping a comforting arm around him. "Then it sounds like all it takes is time. Once he gets used to you, maybe he'll remember how you had helped him," she said.

"I don't care if he remembers," Draco muttered, glaring at his shoes.

Narcissa smiled. "Of course you don't."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco asked warily.

"Nothing, dear."

* * *

Draco was bored out of his mind. He was staring at the wall with Harry. "I really don't understand what you find so exciting about watching white walls, Potter. At least add some color to it," he muttered, flicking his wand. The white turned to green. "Much better," he said. "Mother made me learn that spell last week because she's redecorating. Which really means that I'm doing all the grunt work."

Harry tilted his head towards Draco, narrowing his eyes that were still searching the wall. Draco didn't notice as he was brushing invisible lint from his slacks. Harry's gaze flicked from the seam of the wall and the ceiling to the dark wood floors where the wall ended. He got up unsteadily. Draco tsked, getting up with him. "What are you doing?" he asked, shaking his numb legs. Harry shuffled towards the wall, stopping a meter from it and sitting down again. Draco ran his eyes over the wall. "You like green?" he murmured, kneeling beside Harry. "I should probably get Lily." He was too lazy to get up again. "Or I could just keep you entertained." He waved his wand at the wall again, coloring it red.

Harry blinked at the new paint. He reached out hesitantly, brushing his fingertips on the wall. "There's still life in you yet," Draco said, smiling. He changed the color to blue. Harry scooted forward, pressing his palm against the blue. "Ugh, you're determined to make me get up again, aren't you?" Draco complained, standing upright and stretching. "Don't do anything until I get back," he added, walking to the door and sounding the charm for the Apprentice.

Lily arrived in the corridor a minute later, looking immensely concerned. "He's fine," Draco said before Lily could freak out. She was looking unconvinced as she walked into the room after Draco. She blinked at the blue wall, staggering back.

"What did you do?" she asked accusingly. Draco huffed, pointing at Harry. Lily seemed to have noticed just then. "Oh…" she breathed. The man was moving his head along the wall, scanning the entire expanse of blue that he had discovered. "Wow."

"You always assume the worst of me," Draco groused. "You and Mother would get along quite well."

* * *

Draco was reading the Daily Prophet as he walked into Harry's room. "Hey, Potter, you won't believe what… happened," he trailed off, staring at Luna, Neville, Ron, and Hermione. "Oh… shit," he walked backwards, closing the door once he was out in the corridor. He blushed in mortification, raking his fingers through his hair. The door opened, revealing Hermione who was trying quite hard to hide her smile. "I'll wait," Draco stammered, waving to the chairs vaguely.

"No, it's fine," she said, moving aside to let him in. He stepped in awkwardly, trying to keep up his Malfoy appearances. He nodded at the other occupants of the room, moving towards the desk and leaning against it. He supposed he would just have to wait there until Harry's posse was gone. Neville glowered unpleasantly while Luna looked distant as ever. Ron shrugged at Hermione. She sat back down next to Harry, who was in the midst of them and staring at his beloved wall.

"Anyway," Luna said, jumping right back into her conversation, "I was in the rainforest, surrounded by bugs and leaves, and what do I find? A Fwooper! Isn't that exciting?" She clapped her hands in excitement. Draco rolled his eyes. "It was _so_ beautiful! It had pink feathers and an orange tail. And its song! Wow!" She stared off into space. Then she shook herself out of her thoughts. "But listening to its song for too long will drive you insane. We had to shut it up. Such a pity," she murmured, shaking her head. Neville looked horrified while Ron was trying not to burst out into heaving laughs.

"Shut it up?" Hermione asked in revulsion.

Luna nodded sorrowfully. "I know. And the first Silencing Charm didn't quite hold. So we had to use two more," she explained. Draco bit his cheek to keep from snickering as Neville and Hermione looked relieved. Ron was laughing obnoxiously now. Draco looked at Harry, his smile failing when he realized that Harry's eyes were on him. Luna glanced at Draco. "Did you want to talk to him, Harry?" she asked.

"He doesn't talk," Draco murmured, folding his arms against his chest defensively. "So, no. He doesn't want to talk to me."

"What do you do here?" Ron asked bluntly.

Draco fidgeted under the pairs of eyes on him. "I don't do anything," he said.

"I doubt that," Hermione said.

Draco shrugged. "I guess I just… talk. With Lily," he said.

"Hmm…" Neville murmured.

Hermione looked at the green wall. "I like what you've done with the room," she said.

"Doesn't look as depressing now, I guess," Draco said.

Hermione flicked her eyes at Draco. "It doesn't. Thank you," she said sincerely.

Draco looked startled. "You're welcome," he said in response. Harry stared at him for a beat longer before going back to watching his wall.

* * *

Draco slumped on the bed. Harry was refusing to get up. "Are you going to keep sleeping?" Draco asked, knowing that Harry was only pretending to sleep. He didn't get a response. Harry was facing away from Draco, his back moving gently as he breathed. "You're so boring," Draco muttered, pulling his legs up onto the bed and leaning against the headboard. He floated a book over. "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Really, Potter?" He scanned the worn and ripped front cover. Harry's name was scrawled on it, loud and proud. "Then again, never took you to be a person who owned books."

He opened the cover. And blinked. He brought the book close. And snickered. There was an entire conversation written in ink on the page.

**THIS BOOK BELONGS TO  
**_Harry Potter_

Then it read,

_shared by Ron Weasley because his fell apart  
why don't you buy a new one then?  
write on your own book, Hermione  
you bought all those dungbombs on Saturday. You could have bought a new book instead  
Dungbombs __**rule**_

Draco flipped the page. He was chuckling to himself as he read the notes Harry and Ron had written.

**WHAT IS A BEAST?**_  
a big hairy thing with too many legs_

Draco had to bite his cheek to keep from snorting. His jaw dropped when he read,

Rumours that a colony of Acromantula has been established in Scotland are unconfirmed.

'unconfirmed' was crossed out and replaced with,

_confirmed by Harry Potter and Ron Weasley_

"Why am I surprised?" Draco murmured shakily, laughing. He sifted to another random page. It was a brief explanation on Hippogriffs.

It can be tamed, though this should be attempted only by experts.  
_has Hagrid read this book_?

"Something I've always wondered…" Draco smiled, shifting to sit more comfortably. It was a mellow read, punctuated with funny comments by the two owners of the book. He wasn't sure how many pages he had read, searching for the snide remarks.

His gaze slipped from the book to Harry. Harry was staring at him intently. "What?" Draco asked, frowning. Harry kept his eyes steady. Draco looked at the book again, trying not to be fazed by Harry. He stared at the page, not really reading the words. He kept his eyes on the print, stubbornly ignoring Harry. Apparently Harry wasn't taking kindly to being ignored. Draco started when he felt a warm hand on his wrist. Harry pulled down. Draco frowned in confusion. "What?" he asked. "Just say what you want."

"Read…"

Draco gaped. "Huh?"

"Read."

"I– I was," Draco stuttered. Harry smiled, pulling Draco's wrist down more forcefully. When that didn't do anything, Harry let go and sat up. He grabbed Draco's waist and pulled. Draco slapped Harry's hands away. "Stop molesting me! What, you want me to… lie down?" he asked.

"Lie down, Malfoy," Harry echoed, glaring.

Draco pursed his lips and moved lower onto the bed against his better judgment. Harry lay down, resting his head against Draco's shoulder. "Whoa," Draco said, trying to move away. "What are you doing?"

"Reading with you," Harry murmured, grabbing the book from Draco's hand and holding it up. Draco felt like he was about to have a spontaneous bout of nausea and maniacal laughter. Neither would be good. The feeling intensified when Harry got a hold of his arm.

"What now?" Draco asked, utterly lost.

"I'm not comfortable," Harry complained, bringing Draco's arm around so he was wedged between it and Draco's chest. Draco's eyes threatened to pop out. He was lying in bed with his arm around Harry's shoulder. He tried to untangle himself. Harry held him in place. "Lay still," Harry whispered, placing his hand on Draco's chest. "I kind of like you, Malfoy…" He reached up and kissed Draco gently. "A lot," he breathed as his hand ran down Draco's shirt, snagging buttons. Draco hummed, wrapping his arms around Harry. Harry smiled against Draco's lips, tangling his legs in the sheets.

Draco gasped, jerking awake and throwing his arms out. The book fluttered to the ground. He panted, staring at the wall. He whipped around to Harry. His back was turned towards Draco, rising and falling. Draco scampered out of bed, feeling his shirt with trembling hands. He laughed nervously, rubbing his fists over his drowsy eyes and feeling his lips. "I'm one sick fuck," he muttered.

* * *

Lily and Joseph stood at the observation window. The day was waning, bringing in a calm breeze. Harry was lying down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with his knees bent and his socked feet planted on the floor. Draco was mirroring him with the tops of their heads touching. His wand was raised, drawing strands of white light. Harry was tracing it with his outstretched hand.

"You know what I think?" Lily asked.

"What do you think?" Joseph murmured.

"Draco's in love."

Joseph laughed, looking down at his Apprentice. "Really?" he asked.

"Hmm…"

They moved on to the next patient.

Draco let his wand arm drop, aching. Harry waited for a few seconds, his fingers reaching up. When he realized that the waves of light had stopped, he pulled his arm back as well. Draco rolled over onto his stomach and propped himself up by the elbows. "We've been at this for months, Potter. The least you could do is smile at me," he groused, blinking down at Harry's upside-down face. Harry looked up at him, going cross-eyed from the proximity. Draco laughed, shaking his head and lying back down.

He didn't notice the soft smile that grew on Harry's lips an instant later.

* * *

**Thanks for the multitude of FANTASTIC reviews! I haven't heard one bad thing out of you! Hugs for all the favorites and alerts! Didn't think this fic would be _that_ popular. And apparently most of you can read minds because you've already started figuring out the plot for the coming chapters. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Cheers to InsaneOrange!

* * *

**

"What happened to Weaslette?" Draco asked Hermione. They were seated on the bed beside Harry.

She rolled her eyes, holding back her smile. "Her name's _Ginny_. And _Ginny_ is engaged now," she said.

"Oh?"

"She's been engaged for a year. An American she met at one of her Quidditch matches. Peter."

Draco nodded, wondering if Harry understood what the two were talking about. He hoped Harry did. "Why didn't she visit after the first year?" he asked.

Hermione shifted uncomfortably. "Ginny's… different. She's quite bright and lively. So… as you can imagine, having Harry here wasn't doing wonders to her life. I guess she was angry. Angry with everything and everyone for what happened to him. She tried to stay. She loves Harry." Hermione shook her head. "But… like I said, she's different. She can't be held down."

"Harry was holding her down?" Draco mumbled.

"That's the way she saw it. Sometimes, I see it that way too. I'm not proud of myself for thinking that. Being here makes me know it's worth it," Hermione said, smiling at Harry fondly. "You don't think so, Draco? You've been in and out of this place for months."

"It's not like I have anything better to do. Seeing Potter is the most exciting thing that happens to me," Draco drawled. But it was the truth.

"Then he's lucky to have you," she said earnestly.

* * *

"Want to see something?" Draco asked. Harry didn't answer. Draco took that as a yes. He rolled up his sleeve. "See that?" He pointed to the faint green Dark Mark. "Remember what that is?" Harry looked at the winding snake and skull. Draco pressed it gently. "Weird, huh?" He stared at it for a few more seconds then let his sleeve hide it again. "At the time, I kind of wanted it. It meant that... that I was part of something. And Father was in trouble. So, I sort of _had_ to get it. It was actually quite easy. Painful, but quick." He laughed humorlessly. "I don't think the Dark Lord would have wanted to waste too much time tattooing his followers."

He tilted his head at the green wall. "I feel like grey today. What do you think?" he asked, flicking his wand. Grey paint gripped the wall. "Now we can be miserable together. Quite a party," he muttered sardonically.

He felt soft fingers against his wrist and he nearly pulled away. He whipped his head at Harry, whose eyes were downturned. Harry dragged his fingers up Draco's arm, disappearing under the undone cuff and resting on the inactive Dark Mark. His touch was cold, not warm like Draco had imagined it to be. Draco pulled his arm away from Harry. "You shouldn't do that," he said shakily.

Harry rested his hand on his lap. He looked at Draco's arm again. He touched his scar absently. He showed it to Draco, waiting. Draco was breathless. Harry traced the scar with his finger. He dropped his hand and leaned against Draco, shoulder-to-shoulder. Draco stiffened, exhaling slowly. Harry sought Draco's wrist again, dragging his fingers up to the Dark Mark. Draco didn't pull away this time. They sat in silence for a long while.

* * *

"I see he's taken quite a liking to you, Mr. Malfoy," Joseph said, nodding at Harry as he started on the check-up.

Upon hearing Draco's name, Harry looked up at the man who was leaning against the headboard, watching over him. "He has, hasn't he?" Draco murmured, smiling at Harry. Harry gave him a hesitant smile back. "He's different from last time though," Draco noted.

"How so?"

Draco shrugged. "It's like he's more coherent now. Calm," he said.

"Why do you think that is?" Joseph asked.

Harry seemed to be waiting for Draco's answer. "Because…" Draco started saying, turning his head to look at Harry straight, "he doesn't have to do anything anymore. He's done with helping the world. And now, he can take his own time."

"Hmm…"

Harry blinked away, studying his hands that were resting on his stomach.

* * *

Draco found Harry standing by the window, staring down at the ground. He walked over to the window too. "What are you looking at?" he asked. Harry didn't answer. Draco nodded to himself. The grounds and skies were empty. Light snow covered the grass, green showing through the melting white. It was cold. Draco shivered at the thought. He heard rustling beside him and looked at Harry.

Harry shuffled towards Draco, looking up at him with curious eyes. "What?" Draco asked, holding his ground. Harry pressed his ear against Draco's chest, closing his eyes. Draco stood still. Harry moved in closer. Draco brushed his trembling fingers over Harry's cheek. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly. Harry opened his eyes, staring out the window while keeping warm against Draco.

Draco brought his arms up and hugged Harry to him. Harry didn't pull away. Draco smiled, resting his chin against the crown of Harry's head. "Guess I'm not the only cuddly type around here," he murmured, chuckling.

* * *

"Look who we brought?" Hermione said happily, holding the door for Ron and Rose. Harry looked up at Hermione, then at Ron, and finally at the girl in Ron's arms. His mouth formed a silent O as he got up.

Ron walked up to Harry. "Harry, Rose. Rose, Harry," he introduced importantly. The redhead grinned at Harry before hiding her face against Ron's shoulder. Harry shifted his weight nervously. "She's just shy," Ron whispered.

Harry walked around Ron and stood behind him, reaching up to touch Rose's short hair. The girl picked her head up and stared at Harry with deep blue eyes. Harry smiled, pressing a kiss on Rose's forehead. She giggled and blushed, hiding away against her father again. "Harry?" she whispered into Ron's ear.

Ron nodded. "Remember him? In those pictures? Uncle Harry? That's Uncle Harry," he said.

She glanced at Harry. "Hi, Harry," she said brightly.

Harry laughed. Hermione looked back at him in disbelief, hearing his happy chuckles. Ron smiled at his daughter. "Isn't she adorable?" he asked proudly. Harry brushed back Rose's hair again, sighing. Ron pressed his lips against her cheek and murmured, "I love you."

Rose wrapped her arms around Ron and giggled. "I love you," she replied.

Harry flicked his eyes between the two, enraptured.

* * *

"Gosh, you missed some game, Potter," Draco said, waltzing into the room. "Falcons won four hundred to thirty. I know, right?" He sat down next to Harry on the cold floor. Harry was gazing out the window again. "You should've seen the dive! Bloody brilliant! The Snitch didn't even know what hit it," he laughed. "_That's_ what you should do when you get better! You should play professional Quidditch. Imagine the–"

"I love you."

Draco stilled, the next word stuck in his throat. Harry looked at him triumphantly, grinning. "Wh– what?" Draco stammered.

Harry closed his eyes and licked his lips, as though preparing. "I love you," he said, his words slurring as his voice tried to fight through to make itself heard. He opened his eyes, his grin growing wider. He waited for Draco's reaction expectantly.

"How did you– when did you– what are you– did you just– you can _talk_?"

Harry looked mildly exasperated, frowning and shifting his eyes to the ground. He mouthed 'I love you', feeling the words in his mouth. It seemed right. He looked up at Draco again. "I– I love you?" he said hesitantly, unsure if he was saying it correctly.

Draco sprang to his feet. "I have to get Lily," he breathed, staring at Harry in shock. "I _really_ need to get Lily." He rushed out of the room, throwing the door open.

Harry bit his lip, staring at his lap. Had he made a mistake? He ran the words over in his head. It sounded right. Maybe he shouldn't have said it. Maybe he shouldn't have said anything. Was Draco mad at him? He twisted the hem of his shirt as despair filled him.

He was spun around while still on the ground. He found himself looking at Draco again. His despair doubled itself. He shouldn't have said it. "I– I– I…" He didn't know what else to say. "I love you," he whispered thickly, looking away.

"I love you too," Draco murmured.

Harry jerked his eyes up in wonder. Draco pulled him close, burying his face against the crook of Harry's neck. Harry wound his arms around Draco. "Draco," Harry breathed, the R getting away from him. Draco laughed as he heard his name being mangled by Harry's inexperienced tongue. "I– I love you, Draco."

"You guys are going to make me cry," Lily said, pressing her fingers over her lips as she smiled giddily.

"Go cry in the hall," Draco grumbled.

"I probably will," Lily said, walking out of the room blindly and closing the door behind her.

Harry pulled away when he heard the slam. He stared at the door, blinking. Draco pressed a hand against Harry's cheek and made him turn his head. He looked at Draco now. "I love you, Harry," Draco said firmly, pressing chaste lips onto Harry's.

Harry breathed in sharply, scooting away. A surprised smile graced him as he touched his lips with his fingers. "I– you– you– um…" he stuttered.

"Can't you say anything else?" Draco chuckled, dragging Harry towards him again. Harry shook his head quickly, leaning away. "Fine by me," Draco said wickedly, pushing urgent lips against Harry's. Harry fell backwards with Draco on top of him. He closed his eyes, the smile refusing to leave as he felt Draco's soft breath against his cheek. Their lips locked smoothly as Draco ran his fingers over Harry's cheeks to the back of his neck, making him arch up. Harry didn't know what to do with his hands, so he clutched Draco's shirt. They pressed loving kisses on each other.

Harry opened his eyes to look at Draco. "Draco?" he whispered. Draco moaned at the uncertain way Harry said his name. He paused, breaking their kiss. Harry pushed Draco back and sat up. He tasted Draco against his lips and smacked them with his tongue. He leaned in, brushing the back of his hand against Draco's jaw. Draco felt euphoric at that moment. They blinked at each other. Harry rested his forehead against Draco's, closing his eyes. Draco tilted his face so their lips were an inch apart. Harry looped his arms around Draco's neck and sighed.

"What?" Draco asked.

"I love you."

"I know."

"No," Harry murmured, shifting so he looked could at Draco with conviction. "I _love _you."

Draco smiled. "Like the 'I'll do anything and everything for you' kind, right?" he asked. "That's the only kind of love you know…"

Harry made sure Draco understood before kissing him clumsily.

* * *

"How is he responding?" Joseph asked, taking hurried and detailed notes as he observed Harry through the window.

"Very well with Draco," Lily said. "I think yesterday tuckered him out. But he's… I've never seen him this happy," she laughed.

"I haven't either."

Harry was sitting on the bed, leaning his back against the wall. Draco was beside him, flicking through Quidditch Weekly. He would pause whenever Harry pointed to something. Sometimes, when he thought Draco wasn't looking, Harry would glance up at him. Draco didn't acknowledge it, blushing nonetheless when it happened.

"When you get out of here, we'll have to get you a new broom. Something nice. Did you want a Firebolt? They've started production on Silver Arrows too. It's quite expensive, though," Draco murmured absently, turning the page. Harry's hand reached up and pressed against his hand lightly. "Want me to go back?" Draco asked, flipping to the previous article. Harry's hand stayed on Draco's. "Hmm?" Draco asked, looking down at Harry. "Did you find something?"

Harry laid his head on Draco's shoulder and slid his fingers between Draco's. "Draco," he murmured, smiling. Draco smiled with him, putting the magazine down. Harry curled his legs and rested his knees on Draco's. Draco took that as a prompt to untangle his fingers from Harry and pull him into a hug. Harry shut his eyes, cradled against Draco.

Draco kissed Harry's jet-black hair. "Remember when you used to call me Malfoy?" he asked. Harry shook his head. "And I used to call you Potter…"

"Hmm," Harry mumbled, shaking his head again.

"I kind of liked that," Draco whispered. "A worthy adversary. Potter. I like you, Potter."

Harry laughed lightly. He stared at Draco's arm, tracing the thin white strips that ran down the sleeve. When he got to the rolled up cuffs that stopped just below the elbows, he didn't pause. He touched Draco's pale skin, fascinated. "Mmmaalffoy?" he said hesitantly, drawing circles on Draco's forearm.

"Mhm," Draco said, shivering as Harry's light touch tickled him.

"Mmmaalffoy… Draco…"

"Mhm."

Harry wriggled out of Draco's hug. He got on his knees and worked one of them on the other side of Draco, straddling him. Draco's eyes went wide. Harry placed his hands on Draco's cheeks. "Hi, Draco," he said, kissing Draco on the nose. He sat on Draco's thighs, moving his hands towards Draco's shoulder.

Draco cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably. "Hi," he said hoarsely. "Um… this is… a rather compromising position, isn't it?" he asked.

Harry didn't know what Draco was talking about, so he didn't deign to answer. He was too entranced by Draco's moving lips. He leaned in, scrutinizing them. Draco leaned back in response. Harry pressed his fingers against those lips, gravitating towards it. His eyes accidentally flicked towards Draco's wide eyes. They held the gaze. Harry's fingers left Draco's lips. Draco was pressed against the wall now, nowhere to go. Harry ghosted his fingers over Draco's cheek while staring at the pale eyes. Draco blinked. Harry breathed in sharply. He brought his hand up and placed it about Draco's eyes. Draco closed them. Harry pulled his hand away, staring at Draco's closed lids.

Blond lashes fanned over high cheeks. Harry touched the lashes reverently. He pressed his lips against Draco's cheek. Draco opened his eyes at this. Harry kissed down to Draco's neck. "Mmm…" he murmured.

"What?" Draco breathed.

"Yum."

Draco pushed Harry off of him and scrambled to the other end of the bed. Harry was snickered at Draco's panic, holding his hands up in surrender. "Y– you… you… what?" Draco stammered. Harry shrugged, trying to hide his smile as he picked up the discarded magazine and flicked through it nonchalantly. Draco clutched his chest, falling on his back while trying to calm down. "I'm going to fucking kill you, Potter," he muttered.

* * *

As Harry handed over half of his dessert, Draco asked, "Are you always this generous?" Harry stilled, staring at the plate. He scowled, snatching the tart back and turning away from Draco. "Hey!" Draco exclaimed, affronted. "I wanted that…"

Harry dug his fork into the first half, licking the prongs clean. Then he took a piece out of the second half, eating it too. He glanced back at Draco with a smug smile. Draco forced Harry's chin up and kissed him thoroughly. Their tongues tangled so Draco could taste Harry. Harry pushed away, pulling a face. Draco licked his lips. "Yum," he whispered with a devilish smile.

Harry laughed, shoving Draco back and sliding the plate over.

* * *

Healer Warren reread the letter for the third time before crumbling it in his hand and chucking it across the room. He swore lowly, dropping his face in his hands.

* * *

"Where's Harry?" Draco asked, walking into Joseph's office. "He's not in his room." He stumbled to a halt when he saw the Healer looking grim and exhausted. "What happened?"

"The investigation into Mrs. Malfoy's trial… They took Harry for psych testing. And if they find his mental capacity unsatisfactory, they could– they could retract his testimony."

Draco's stomach churned. "What are you saying?" he asked, swallowing hard.

"If Harry doesn't prove to be reliable witness, Mrs. Malfoy could be sent back, Draco," Joseph said.

"Oh God," Draco gasped, stumbling out of the office and running to the Apparition Point. He needed to get home.

* * *

_Harry James Potter, patient #497, is unresponsive during testing procedures. Unreliable source._

* * *

Draco stood close to his mother, clutching her hand tightly. She stroked his hair. "I'll be alright," she whispered. The Aurors were waiting to escort her back to Azkaban. "We still have a month to figure things out. We'll be alright." Her appeal was to be sent through court by the end of the four weeks. If the defendant, Narcissa, were unable to state her case by then, she would be placed back in Azkaban for the rest of her sentence. Until the court date, she was sent to the prison anyway.

Harry's testimony, since it was a third-party statement, held slightly less importance that it would have had, had he been to the court himself. While reviewing the case files, the members of Wizengamot deemed Harry's attestation unreliable. The hospital files that recorded Harry's mental state clearly noted that he was less than stable on the day he had given his statement. When asked to give his statement to the court psychiatrist, Harry was unable to speak or interact with the Healer. For these reasons, his testimony was withdrawn.

Draco hugged Narcissa tight, tears falling against his will. "I'll fight for you, Mother. And we'll win, okay?" he said brokenly.

Narcissa pressed a soft kiss on Draco's cheek. "Even if I we lose, I know that you love me. And you know I love you and that I'm sorry. Don't cry, Draco. I'll be fine even if I'm in Azkaban," she whispered.

"Don't say that," Draco sobbed.

"I love you…"

It seemed like all he did was blink. That was enough for his life to fall apart. He was alone again.

* * *

Hermione sighed, massaging her temple. She hazarded a glance at her husband, who was sitting across from her at the kitchen table. "You're okay with this?" she asked quietly. He nodded mutely. "This can go horribly wrong for us, Ron," she added.

"I know…"

"Prejudices still run high, no matter where we go," she murmured.

"I know…"

She held out her hand. He tangled his fingers against hers, nodding again. She nodded back.

* * *

"I want to represent your mother," Hermione said firmly.

Draco looked at her blankly. "Pardon?" he asked.

"I want to represent your mother."

"I– you– you do?" he stammered.

"Pro bono," Hermione added, smiling wanly.

"Oh…"

"Unless you're dead set on paying me, that is," she murmured, her smile growing.

Draco chuckled, bordering on hysterics. He closed his eyes and nodded. "Thank you," he said hoarsely.

It took them less than an hour to get started on notes. "Okay," Hermione said, sipping her coffee before picking up her quill with her cramping hand. "Let's go over this again."

Draco tried to stifle his sigh as he ran his hand over his eyes. "The reason she's in Azkaban is because all Dark Army members were sent there after the War."

"And the reason _you_ weren't imprisoned was because of your age," Hermione added.

Draco nodded. "But she has never used the Cruciatus or Imperious Curses. Not that I know of, anyways. And she's not a Death Eater."

"Right," Hermione murmured. "Her memories could be taken and examined. But they require an added component from a reliable witness to confirm that her memory is true."

"Which would be Harry," Draco sighed loudly, too exhausted to hold it in any longer.

"Harry," Hermione sighed along with him. "He can't think straight. We can't use him."

"Ugh, no one's _using_ him," Draco muttered in distaste. "We'll make do without him. He's done enough." He rubbed the kink out of his neck. "How about good behavior? That's got to count for something."

"Yes, it does. But not enough to get her out of prison. Maybe a reduced sentence."

They worked through the day in this manner, trying to find loopholes in the sentencing of Narcissa Malfoy.

* * *

_Draco,_

_I know this may be the wrong time to ask you to do this, but could you drop in for a visit? Harry's noticed that you have stopped coming over. Just for a few minutes._

_Thank you,  
Lily Swade_

* * *

Draco gritted his teeth and pulled himself together before walking into Harry's room. Lily looked up, immensely relieved when she recognized him. She got up from Harry's bed and motioned for Draco to talk to Harry who was lying down. Draco approached slowly, wondering what he was supposed to say. He sat down and touched Harry's shoulder, hoping to turn him over. Harry slapped his hand away. Draco tried again. Harry hit his hand away.

"Hey," Draco murmured, stroking Harry's hair.

Harry shot up, wrenching Draco's hand off of him. "Don't touch me!" he spat out. Draco's eyes widened. He reached out to Harry again. Harry scrambled away, kicking at Draco. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" he screamed, balling his hands into fists.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked, looking back at Lily. She ran out to get Joseph.

"GET OUT! GET OUT!" Harry shouted, pointing to the door.

"Why? What's wrong, Harry?"

"Don't call me that," Harry hissed, disgust in his eyes. "You– you are– just get out! I fucking hate you!"

Draco frowned in confusion. "I don't– it's– it's me."

"I know who you are," Harry muttered. "You're a manipulative bastard, Malfoy. I want nothing to do with you. Get out!"

"What are you–"

"I don't want your fucking love and I don't need your damned sympathy. Get out of my life."

Draco looked as though he had been struck. "Harry…"

"You have no right to call me that," Harry said breathlessly. "And you have no right to love me."

Draco froze, his emotions overwhelming him. "I– I didn't… I'm– I'm sorry," he stammered, not knowing what to say.

"GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!"

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Draco shouted back desperately.

Harry scrambled forward, furious. He shoved Draco off the bed. "GET OUT!"

Draco shoved Harry in turn. "Tell me why!" he exclaimed.

"What does it take to get it into your thick head?" Harry snapped. "I don't want you here. I can't stay sane when you're here. Understand? You're making me worse. Get out of my life! I'm done with solving your bloody problems. Stop. Using. Me."

Draco blinked at Harry, his stomach churning nauseatingly. "I– I'm _helping_ you, Harry. I'm not… I'm not using you for _anything_," he said helplessly. "I love y–" His words were cut short by Harry's fist blurring towards him and hitting his cheek.

"See? I'm getting better already," Harry muttered tauntingly. "You're just as pathetic as you were then, you know that? Groveling so you could look out for yourself. Get out before I have to make you leave."

Draco stumbled out of the room, pushing past Joseph and Lily. He stopped in the corridor, blinded by tears and anger. He felt Lily's hesitant hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off, striding towards the Apparition Point.

They found Harry on the bed, fuming. "Harry," she murmured, running up to him. "What did you do?"

"I'm going to get better now," Harry said, taking calming breaths. "I'm going to get better."

"What did you do to Draco?" Lily asked.

"Malfoy can go die in a hole, for all I care," Harry said vehemently. "I just– I just need to get better. And I'll testify. And he'll– he'll be okay after I…" He broke off, wiping away his tears. "I hate him. That's all. He'll be okay."

* * *

Hermione noticed the resolute look on Lily's face as she gestured to Hermione to enter Harry's room. She frowned, walking in and closing the door behind her. Harry was sitting on his bed, face hidden away in his hands.

"Harry?" she asked hesitantly.

He looked up, dropping his hands. "Hi," he said tiredly, getting up. "I know you're busy. I just needed to talk to you."

She was stunned into silence. Harry approached her and hugged her close. "Oh God," she choked out, hugging him back furiously. "Harry!"

"I want to testify at Wizengamot. Can you arrange for that?" he asked.

"O– Of course," she said, trying to keep her sobs under check.

"Healer Warren said I should be recovered in a week. Is that alright?"

"Yes," she breathed. "Draco will–"

"I don't want to talk about Malfoy. I'm not doing this for Malfoy. This is for my own conscience. Okay?"

Hermione blinked in puzzlement, pulling away from Harry. "I– um… sorry, what?" she asked.

"What I said," Harry said unwaveringly.

Hermione saw the hard green eyes piercing her, sharper than ever. "Okay," she said, nodding quickly. "For you."

"For me."

* * *

Draco knocked on the room, his mind racing furiously. He didn't know what he was going to do. But he just had to see Harry again. To find out what was wrong. Harry opened the door. "What do you want?" he asked coldly.

Draco searched Harry's stony expression. "I– I want to know what's wrong," he said.

"Why would anything be wrong? And why would you care if anything's wrong?" Harry asked.

"Because I–" Draco stopped himself. "Because I want to know," he said instead.

"I thought I made myself clear when I said I don't ever want to see you again," Harry said, narrowing his eyes.

"But I thought we…"

"We what? You hurt my friends, ruin my life, and then come here? Looking for what?" Harry asked harshly. "What are you looking for? Because I have had enough of your shit and–"

"Then why are you testifying?"

"Because if I don't, it'll plague me for the rest of my life," Harry snapped. "You thought I was doing this for your? You _owe_ me, Malfoy. You _owe_ me your life. Do you understand? And as far as I'm concerned, I don't care what you do with that life." He slammed the door shut, causing Draco to stagger back. He swallowed down his helplessness, staring at the closed door. Not only did Harry not love him, the man didn't even want to bother with him. This wasn't Harry…

* * *

Harry was sitting opposite Joseph. Their session was an hour long and Joseph was thoroughly impressed with Harry's cohesive answers to the questions. He didn't stray from the topic and was able to hold a conversation quite well. But Joseph held the most important question for last.

"Why do you hate Draco Malfoy?" he asked. He saw a hint of surprise on Harry's face. He wasn't expecting the question.

"I've always hated him," he answered calmly.

"You didn't hate him a few days ago. What changed?" Joseph prodded.

"A few days ago, I was out of my mind," Harry said. "And now I'm back to my old self. And my old self hates Dra– Malfoy."

"I'd hazard a guess that a few days ago, you loved Draco."

Harry pursed his lips. "Like I said," he reiterated, "a few days ago, I was insane. And I can't be insane now. So I don't love him. I hate him. It's as simple as that."

"Hmm… So simple."

"Black and white," Harry said.

"Do you remember telling him that you hated him?" Joseph asked.

Harry nodded his head firmly.

"Do you remember telling him to never see you again?"

Harry nodded.

"Do you remember him telling you that he loves you?"

Harry shook his head, turning his gaze to the ground.

"Do you remember telling him you loved him?"

Harry shook his head violently.

"Do you remember what he looked like when you told him you hated him?"

Harry shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Do you remember what he said to you when you told him you hated him?"

Harry pressed his hands to his eyes. "I don't remember," he said firmly, taking a shuddering breath. "I don't remember."

"Okay. That is it for this session, Harry," Joseph said. "More tomorrow."

* * *

"How is he getting better so quickly?" Lily asked.

Joseph mulled over the question, wondering how to best answer that question. "He's not getting better, per se. He is… mimicking his memories from five years ago. He is pulling at the memories that he finds relatively stable and sane. He is using them to figure out how he is supposed to act around us."

"He's not getting better," Lily repeated, horrified.

"He needed to find something that separated his 'old self', as he calls it, to his mentally unstable mind. In his mind's eye, he is rational. The way he sees it, there is a clear distinction between his lives. And that is Draco. Five years ago, he hated Draco. Five days ago, he loved Draco. It helped him identify sane from insane. He latched onto it."

"But if he isn't getting better, he'll…"

"Yes, he might relapse," Joseph nodded. "Like before, once he finishes his responsibilities, as he sees it, he might revert back to his unstable mind."

"Then we should make him understand that it's not his responsibility," Lily said.

"He's lived his whole life with expectations. He doesn't know how to live without responsibilities," Joseph said, watching Harry sit at the desk and write studiously. "And if that means living obliviously, then so be it."


	6. Chapter 6

"Have you seen the paper?" Ron asked out of revulsion.

"Trying not to," Hermione murmured, reading over her notes.

"The things they write. It makes me want to hurl," Ron muttered, stomping to the kitchen and banging pans on the counter as he made coffee.

"Precisely why I don't read them," Hermione said.

"Smart woman," Ron said. "And when's Harry's evaluation?"

Hermione glanced at the clock. "Happening right now."

* * *

Healer Lance Porter scanned his file, arching his brow when he read the name. Harry Potter had been there no more than a fortnight ago. And now he was back? He scanned the sheets, opening the door. "We're back, are we, Mr. Potter?" he murmured, not expecting a reply.

"Yes," Harry said quietly.

Lance tripped over his feet, looking up. He ogled the man before him. He looked nothing like the Harry Potter the Healer had seen the first time. Gone were the hospital pajamas. This man donned a green blazer with a white shirt, grey tailored slacks, and polished shoes. Gone was the lost expression, replaced by warm eyes and a nervous smile. Lance snapped out of his reverie and trotted towards the table, curious. "Have a seat, Mr. Potter," he said, gesturing to the chair.

"Harry's fine."

"Harry it is," Lance smiled, sitting down. "Shall we begin?" he asked. Harry nodded, fidgeting with his hands. "No need to be nervous. You can't possibly do worse than last time," the Healer said, watching for appropriate emotions.

Harry blushed, dropping his eyes to the tabletop. "I– um… that– er… I'll do better," he stammered.

Lance nodded, feeling optimistic already. This was such a stark difference. Answering all the simple questions seemed to ease Harry into the procedure. His anxiety ebbed away. He answered the inquiries as precisely as was required of him. Then came the questions on the incident in the forest.

"You were hit with the Killing Curse, am I right?"

"Yes."

"Can you explain what happened after you fell?"

Harry nodded. "I was unconscious for a bit. I don't know how long. When I came to, I heard the Death Eaters getting agitated. I could hear Bellatrix Lestrange. It sounded like she was trying to revive Voldemort. I pretended to be dead. After Voldemort got up, he asked Narcissa Malfoy to examine me to see if I was dead. She walked up to me and knelt down. She checked for breathing and lifted my eyelid. She touched my chest. I was clearly alive. She asked me, 'Is Draco alive? Is he in the castle?' I replied, 'Yes.' She announced that I was dead." Harry looked up at Lance. "And that's what happened."

"And who is this Draco?" Lance asked, writing furiously.

"Narcissa's son."

"How did you know that he was alive?"

"Last time I saw him, he was alive in the castle."

Lanced nodded. Then he flicked his eyes at Harry, putting down his quill. "If you had said no, what do you think she would have done?" he asked.

Harry looked taken aback by the question. "Pardon?" he asked.

"If Draco was dead, what do you think she would have done?"

Harry blinked rapidly, shaking his head. "I– I don't know," he stammered. "I've never… I've never thought of it."

"Something to think about," Lance said airily. "We're done here. Thank you, Harry."

* * *

"Alright, Harry. No need to panic. It'll go quite smoothly," Hermione said, near hyperventilation. "Just answer all of his question truthfully. Don't try to bend the responses. I'll do the rest. You just–"

"Hermione, calm down! I'll be fine," Harry said, laughing at his friend. "I'm more worried about you than me, to be honest."

"I'll be fine. I'll be fine."

"Keep telling yourself that," Harry said. Ron rolled his eyes at the two, trying to keep Rose quiet. Just getting Harry to Wizengamot was an ordeal. The press wouldn't leave them be. Thankfully, reporters were not allowed into the second floor of the Ministry. They escaped the cameras and fluttering quills before Harry could be swarmed.

"Should we go inside?" Ron asked.

Hermione glanced at her watch, shifting her weight nervously. "Yes. We probably should," she said.

The courtroom was buzzing with soft whispers and murmurs. The members sat in a wide arch, standing four rows high and taking up half the room. There were no spectators allowed. The defendants took their seats along the sides. In the middle of the dark room was a chair where the accused was to sit. Hermione was perched on the edge of her seat. Harry scanned the quiet members of Wizengamot. They were staring at him with mild surprise. He smiled back politely, uncomfortable.

"You better get used to it, mate," Ron whispered, nudging Harry.

Harry tried to keep from rolling his eyes. His gaze caught on the door when it opened. Draco walked in, straightening his tie. "He's not allowed in here," Harry hissed, a scowl forming on his face.

"I work here, Harry," Hermione muttered. "I can pull strings." Harry looked positively outraged as she spoke. She waved Draco over. Draco approached carefully, sidling past the barrier and towards them. Harry kept his eyes averted. "How are you holding up?" Hermione asked.

"I'm fine," Draco said, sitting beside Harry.

The Azkaban guards brought Narcissa in a minute later. Harry felt Draco stiffen against him. Narcissa wore the striped uniform worn by prisoners and had cuffed wrists. They were unbound once she was seated on the chair. Draco looked away, wondering if his mother would mind him seeing her like this. The guards stepped away, moving to the back of the room.

The Court Scribe stood up and cleared his throat. "All rise for the Minister of Magic," he said. Loud shuffling of feet sounded as everyone stood up. Kingsley Shacklebolt entered the room and took his place in the middle of the members. "Court is now in session," the Scribe said. The members and defendants sat down as one.

Kingsley read the parchments in front of him. "This trial is in regards to Narcissa Malfoy's wrongful imprisonment in Azkaban prison and possible reevaluation of the sentence dealt. Defendant, please state your case," he said.

Narcissa said, "Hermione Jean Weasley shall speak for me."

Kingsley nodded at Hermione. She nodded back grimly, standing up and walking to the front of the room. "The defendant has been wrongfully imprisoned in Azkaban and, in lieu of evidence that has been found, should be considered a sentence much less severe – house arrest," she said.

"You may interview the defendant," Kingsley said.

Hermione turned to Narcissa. "Please state your name for the court."

"Narcissa Malfoy."

"The reason you were sent to Azkaban?"

"Treason."

"How many years did you serve in the prison?"

"Five years."

Hermione nodded. "Mrs. Malfoy, have you ever used an Unforgivable Curse?" she asked.

"No," Narcissa added.

Hermione glanced at the members. "This can be verified on the wand that is currently under the Ministry custody," she said. She turned to Narcissa again. "Have you been marked?"

"No."

"Why?"

Narcissa blinked at the question. "I… I didn't wish to be marked. I was never forced into it," she said.

"What were you affiliations with the Dark army?"

Narcissa swallowed loudly. "My… my family is affiliated with the Dark Army. My sister, brothers-in-law, husband, and– and son were Death Eaters," she said, looking pained.

"And yet you were never asked to join?" Hermione asked.

"It was an elite circle," Narcissa said weakly.

Hermione left it at that. "Voldemort used your home as his headquarters during the year of the War. Why?" she asked.

Narcissa flicked his eyes at Draco, who was looking at her intently. "We were being punished," she murmured.

"For what?"

"For… Lucius' actions. His mistakes."

"Lucius is…"

"My husband. Lucius Malfoy."

"What did this punishment entail?" Hermione asked.

Narcissa took in an unsteady breath. "We were to surrender our home to the Dark Lord. He took away Lucius' wand. Draco was…" Her voice broke. Draco was shaking in his seat, anger boiling through him. Harry's knee pressed against his. He looked at Harry in shock. He wondered if Harry realized. Harry's eyes stayed on Hermione and Narcissa. Draco felt his anger dying down as he quickly glanced away. "Draco was marked and given the mission to kill Albus Dumbledore. We were isolated," Narcissa finished.

"And that is how you find yourself in the Forbidden Forest, separated from your family and in the presence of Voldemort?"

"Yes," Narcissa murmured.

Hermione looked up at Kingsley. "I now wish to call upon Harry James Potter as the primary witness," she said.

"Proceed," Kingsley said.

Narcissa was escorted out of her chair and made to sit at the back of the room with the guards. Harry got up nervously and stepped past Draco, not looking at him once. Draco was more than perplexed.

Harry took the seat, squirming under the watchful eyes of the members.

"Please state your name for the court," Hermione said, trying to provide comfort with her tone of voice.

"Harry James Potter."

"Where were you the night of May 2, 1998?"

"In Hogwarts. Later, the Forbidden Forest."

"Can you tell us the events that transpired in the forest?"

Harry took a deep breath and started talking. He provided lengthy details of Narcissa's large role in helping him escape. He talked about how the Narcissa's lie was sparked from her fear for her family and reluctance in letting Voldemort win. He finished off by recounting the battle in the Great Hall where the Malfoys did not fight for either side. Once he was finished he looked at Hermione for approval. She smiled and nodded.

"A question," one of the members interjected, raising his hand. Hermione stepped back. "Why are you coming forward now? Why not five years ago?" he asked, knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from Harry.

"I was… admitted into St. Mungo's," Harry said. "After the War, I had a difficult time coping with the losses."

"And now you are treated?"

"I believe so," Harry said, nodding.

The member smiled sheepishly. "Forgive me for playing the devil's advocate, but I must ask. How can we be sure that your memory serves right?" he asked.

Harry frowned at him. "I– um… I am willing to show you the memory," he said hesitantly.

Another member cleared her throat. "We have done a thorough investigation of your psych records. The last testimony you gave us was done so in an almost incoherent state. This testimony is rather impressive for a man who was under full supervision from an attending just two week ago. The logs indicate that Mr. Draco Lucius Malfoy visited you several times over the period of months. Has this affected your judgment?"

"This has nothing to do with my treatment," Harry said, frowning. "I needed to tell you what happened that night. And I have."

The members nodded, looking at each other. "We would like to see your memory as well as the defendant's," Kingsley said. "Please bring the defendant to the chair."

Harry got up and walked back to Ron and Draco. He let out a slow puff of breath as he sat down, feeling his nerves loosening. He massaged his temple, trying to get rid of the ache that persisted. "Thank you." He looked up in surprise. Draco was watching him intently.

Harry shook his head. "Like I said, I didn't do it for you," he murmured.

Draco nodded slowly. "Thank you, anyway."

The next hour passed with rigorous questioning and the gathering of evidence, both verbal and memories. Harry and Narcissa were thoroughly exhausted by the end of it, neither used to being in the presence of so many people at once. During the ten-minute break, Harry was leaning against the wall outside the room, watching Hermione run over her closing remarks. "Since they have my memory now, they won't need to question me anymore, will they?" he asked.

"No," she murmured absently. "They'll just compare what you said to what they see. Then the decision is up to them."

"Good," Harry mumbled. "Because I don't think I…" He slid down the wall, faint. He heard voices around him, coming nearer. He closed his eyes, shaking his head to get rid of his lightheadedness.

"Harry."

He jerked at the loud sound, blinking up at Ron who was holding him steady. "S– sorry," he stammered, swallowing hard to wet his throat. "Just dizzy."

Hermione scowled at him. "Did you eat breakfast?" she asked, miffed. Rose patted Harry's cheek sympathetically.

"Wasn't hungry," Harry murmured, sitting down with his knees propped up. He squeezed Rose's hand comfortingly. He took long calming breaths. "I'm fine. I'm– I'm not used to this, that's all," he assured them. He glanced to the right, suddenly noticing Draco, crouching down with Ron and Hermione. "This is so embarrassing," Harry muttered, trying to get up. Ron kept him seated with firm hands on his shoulders.

"Water?" Draco asked, holding out a glass he had conjured.

"Yes, drink," Hermione said, looking none too pleased.

Harry took the cup begrudgingly, finishing the cool water in three gulps. "See? I'm fine," he said, pushing Ron's hands off of him and getting up. Draco caught him when he swayed. Harry pushed him away. "I'm fine," he muttered chillingly, stepping away from Draco. "We should go back inside."

* * *

The elevators pinged open. Reporters, cameras, and spectators swarmed around the occupants. Hermione and Ron led the way. Harry followed with Narcissa and Draco in tow. Questions rushed at them from all sides.

"Harry Potter! Where have you been for the past five years?"

"Look, there's Harry Potter! See his scar?"

"What evidence was presented to the Minister?"

"Is Narcissa Malfoy under house arrest?"

"Will she be given her wand back?"

"They're letting Death Eaters out? Oh my gosh!"

"Mrs. Weasley, isn't this political suicide?"

"Mr. Potter, are you sympathizing with the Dark army?"

"Look at the scum he is defending…"

Draco whipped around, at the end of his rope. But before he could speak…

"STOP!"

Draco's heart jumped with fright as he turned to Harry who was looking deadly with his sparking green eyes and clenching jaw. "Stop it right now!" Harry said loudly. The crowd was silenced in an instant. Harry pinched the bridge of his nose, frustrated. "Here is my statement. Write it down," he said tiredly. Quills were ready at hand.

"I don't tolerate prejudices. I never have and I never will. Don't draw conclusions from half-truths. I am defending Mrs. Malfoy because she is the reason I am alive today. And if she is the reason I am alive today, then you will agree that you owe her your lives as well. I will stand by my decision until I die. Understood?"

The people were left a shocked mass. Hermione grabbed Harry hand and pulled him along the sea of reporters. Draco urged his mother forward as well. They weaved through the crowd and made their way towards the Floo Network. Once they reached the large fireplaces, they paused. Harry was relatively calm now. Hermione hugged him quickly. "You did great," she said, beaming proudly.

"Does this surprise you?" Harry asked, gesturing at the reporters.

She sighed. "Not really. Families with Death Eater ties are often treated that way," she said.

Harry nodded absently. "I guess we have work to do, don't we?" he said, smiling.

"Guess we do," she said, optimism blooming in her.

"Harry…"

Harry turned to Narcissa. "I– um… sorry about that," he said hesitantly.

"Thank you," Narcissa said sincerely. "I don't know how to… I wish there was something more I could do," she said, near tears.

"Like I said, you saved my life, Mrs. Malfoy. I'm just returning the favor," Harry insisted.

Narcissa hugged Harry. "Thank you for giving me my life back," she said.

"You're welcome," Harry replied.

Narcissa felt her mind stop racing. She could finally think. She was about to pull away from Harry when she felt his grip tightening. "Can you keep Draco safe?" he whispered hurriedly.

Narcissa heard the question and her thoughts couldn't keep up. "Yes," she breathed.

Harry let go of her. They stepped back in unison. "Now we're even, I suppose," Harry said, shrugging.

"I suppose," Narcissa murmured, searching Harry's expression and drawing blank.

Harry looked at Ron. "To your place?" he asked.

"It's a pigsty. But if you insist," Ron answered. Hermione elbowed him in the ribs. He laughed and moved closer to the Floo, calling out their destination.

"Goodbye," Harry said to Narcissa.

"Goodbye," she repeated.

Harry glanced at Rose and held out his arms. "Let's go, shall we, Princess?" he asked. She giggled, nearly leaping onto him. He stepped into the fire with her in his arms, disappearing in an instant.

Draco stared at the empty fireplace, feeling somewhat hollow.

* * *

Hermione wasn't kidding when she explained the discrimination felt by families who had the misfortune of being labeled Death Eater families, Slytherins, and Durmstrangs. "I guess it was a bad idea for me to disappear, huh?" Harry asked sarcastically.

She turned away from the simmering dinner. "It's just that… the people think what they are doing is justified. I mean, the Dark army ruined many lives. So they are hell driven to ruin the lives of anyone associated with the Dark army. Tit for tat," she said.

"Why aren't you bitter? Like them?" Harry asked.

"I was," Hermione murmured, turning away. "I was bitter for a long while. But when Rose was born, I… I guess I realized I wanted the world to be different for her. It was Voldemort when we grew up. I don't want it to be like that for her. Imagine what it must be going on at Hogwarts, Harry. Imagine the children in Slytherin. I hope the staff takes care to keep the real world away from school…"

"Hogwarts…"

"I haven't been since the War," Hermione said. "I don't know if I can handle it, you know?"

"I know."

"We should visit, shouldn't we?"

Harry laughed. "What? Like a five year reunion?"

"Something like that," she said, laughing with him.

Harry let his chuckles die down into a smile. Which quickly dropped into a confused frown. And then into a horrified expression. "Oh god," he breathed, gripping the counter to keep from dropping to his knees. "Oh my god…"

"What?" Hermione asked, holding Harry in place.

"I– I didn't– oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he swore, wriggling out of Hermione's grip. "DAMN IT!" he shouted, grabbing a plate and smashing it against the wall. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" He gripped his throbbing head, easing himself onto the ground so he wouldn't faint again.

Hermione stayed away, terrified. "Harry…" she murmured shakily.

"I– I'm sorry," Harry said, breathing unsteadily. He used his trembling hands to pick up the shards. "I– there's so much I need to do, Hermione. So much I need everyone to know. About… about Snape and Dumbledore and Voldemort. So much I have to say." He felt panic creeping in again. "Fuck, this is all my fault!" He sat back, squeezing his eyes shut. "Why can't I be stronger? Five years! I– I was– there's so much I need to do."

"Tell me," Hermione said, kneeling down next to Harry. She wrapped her arms around him. "Tell me anything you want."

* * *

Draco was reading the Daily Prophet while sipping on his morning coffee. A rustling sounded on the table. A copy of the Quibbler slid towards him. He frowned and looked up at Narcissa. "Read it," she said, her eyes glistening. "Harry did an interview. And it's… remarkable. About Severus…"

Draco frowned at his mother, putting down the Prophet and picking up the Quibbler slowly.

* * *

"He overreacts quite a bit," Hermione said. "He's being hard on himself. He keeps it quiet most of the time. But I can see it in him."

"How so?" Joseph asked.

"I think he blames himself for… well, he calls it losing control. He think that if he were stronger, he wouldn't have ended up here," she waved at the office, meaning the asylum.

"How is his health?"

"Has no appetite to speak of," Hermione murmured. "Barely eats. Barely sleeps. Keeps telling me there's too much to do. He's going to burn himself out."

"Barely sleeps as in nightmares?" Joseph asked, writing everything down.

"I think he's afraid of getting them. I've never heard him have them. He's usually quite loud when he does," Hermione said.

"Well… He's coming in tomorrow. I know what to look for now," Joseph murmured, preoccupied with the notes he had just written. "Thanks for dropping by."


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks to Maiden of Books and InsaneOrange for being awesome betas! :D

* * *

**

Harry was on the couch, under a Relaxation Charm. Healer Warren was pacing behind the couch. "Feeling better now?" he asked absently.

"Mhm," Harry murmured sluggishly. This was similar to being hypnotized. He wasn't quite aware of what was happening. It was an almost dreamlike state.

"Tell me what's bothering you."

Harry sighed languidly, shrugging. "Everything," he said, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

"Tell me three things bothering you."

"Okay… I'm always tired. My headache won't go away. I don't want to lose my mind again. That's three."

Joseph nodded to himself. "Good. Now tell me three things that you are happy about," he said.

Harry smiled vaguely. "I was at Rose's second birthday party. I get to see all my friends again. Teddy's all grown up…"

"Why aren't you eating?"

Harry shook his head slowly. "I don't know. I'm not hungry," he said.

"And why aren't you sleeping?"

Harry shook his head again. "I don't want to sleep."

"Because of your nightmares?" Joseph asked.

"What if I don't wake up?" Harry wondered. "There's so much I need to do before I die."

"Do you still think about dying?"

Harry opened his eyes a crack, staring up at the ceiling. "Of course."

"Let me rephrase. Do you still think about dying after you're done with everything you need to do?" Joseph asked carefully.

"Of course," Harry repeated.

"Why? Why can't you just live after you're done with your responsibilities?"

Harry blinked, his eyes becoming heavy again. "Why?" he murmured.

"Yes. Why do you want to die?"

"I don't _want_ to die."

Joseph paused, turning to Harry. "You don't want to die?" he asked in slight confusion.

"Who will look after Teddy?" Harry asked sadly. Joseph sighed in frustration. There he goes again, putting himself after everything else. "I'll die after everyone's happy," Harry mumbled.

"Draco's unhappy," the Healer said absently.

Harry sat up quickly, agitated. Joseph perked in interest, walking around the sofa and sitting beside his patient. Harry shook his head continually, as if denying his thoughts. "He's not. He has his mother now," Harry said.

"He loves you, Harry. He needs you too."

"He can't have me," Harry muttered, clenching his hands into fists.

"You will give yourself to everyone but him? That's not fair," Joseph argued.

"He doesn't need me. He is just Malfoy. I don't care," Harry said, trying to be nonchalant, but coming off as tense.

Joseph decided to try a different approach. "Okay. You don't care. Now, I want you to think back to six years ago. You are in Hogwarts. You see Draco in the Great Hall, eating at the table. What do you do?"

Harry's eyes flicked under his lids as he saw the scene in his mind's eye. "If he doesn't look at me, then I won't look at him. If he looks at me, then I feel… angry and confused. He's just so mean to Hermione and Ron. And I know he's up to no good. He's always hiding something. I have to stop him before he does anything…"

"Okay," Joseph murmured. "Think back to three months ago. You are in Hogwarts. You see Draco in the Great Hall, eating at the table. What do you do?"

Harry's hardened expression softened instantly. He blushed, dropping his chin to his chest as he fumbled with his fingers. "Oh… If… if he doesn't look at me, then I'll look at him," he said, smiling bashfully. "If he looks at me… I'll feel so happy. He's so nice to me. He loves me. He'll do anything and everything for me. I'll do anything and everything for him. I would want to kiss him…"

Joseph rolled his eyes at Harry's hopeless adoration. "You are in Hogwarts right now. You see Draco in the Great Hall, eating at the table. What do you do?" he asked.

Harry's smile dropped off to uncertainty. He lifted his head up, frowning as he looked at Draco.

The pale Slytherin was sitting between his lackeys, eating silently. Harry's friends surrounded him, laughing and chattering away. Draco was cutting his food into elegant pieces with his cutlery. Harry watched from afar, enthralled. His dinner lay forgotten. He studied the quiet Slytherin, wondering what Draco was thinking about. Then Draco looked up at him. Harry blinked, a slow scowl forming. He expected a similar scowl to show up on Draco's face. Instead Draco looked down at his plate again, seeming hurt. Harry's scowl smoothed into puzzlement. Draco looked up at him again. Harry frowned, less viciously but still a frown. Draco flicked his eyes at the table, pushing his plate away and appearing nauseous. Harry blinked in confusion. Draco met his gaze. They stared at each other blankly. Harry searched the pale boy for an expression. He couldn't find one. He raised his hand half-heartedly, waving.

Draco blushed. He waved back nervously. Harry dropped his hand down, stunned. He attempted a smile, a rather miserable one at that. Draco looked relieved as he smiled back, a fresh pink hue on his cheeks. He got up from his seat and moved away from his friends, making his way to Harry. All conversation stopped as he approached. Harry stared up at him once he had stopped behind the bench. He bent down and kissed Harry adoringly.

"I love you, Harry," he murmured.

Harry's heart fluttered unusually quickly as he leaned into the kiss.

The Great Hall shook as the windows shattered and the tables splintered. Chaos reigned around them. Voldemort and his Dark army broke through the heavy doors. Harry leapt off of his seat and pushed Draco behind him, raising his wand. The Dark Lord cast a wordless spell, green light sparking. Harry's wand shot out a red flare. The effect was jarring as the two spells hit. Harry felt his strength faltering as his arm shook from pain.

Another hand joined his, holding him steady. He looked up at Draco. He had a comforting arm looped around Harry's waist and slender fingers wrapped around Harry's hand, the one that was holding the wand. Elder Wand. The red flare burst through, forcing Voldemort back. The Dark army fell away, dropping like stones. Voldemort disintegrated into dust.

"I'll keep you safe…" Draco whispered.

"Oh," Harry breathed, letting his outstretched arm fall to his side. He blinked and found himself sitting in Healer Warren's office.

"Do you understand?" Joseph asked. "You need him. He keeps you sane. You can change."

"I– I can't," Harry said brokenly. "I'm supposed to hate him. Don't you see?"

"No, _you_ don't see," Joseph argued. "There are no rules. You can do anything you want. You're Harry Potter, for Merlin's sake!"

Harry looked stricken. "Wh– what?" he stammered.

"You are _the_ Harry Potter. If _you_ can't be with an ex-Death Eater, then who can?" Joseph asked. "He is the only person outside of this hospital who cares for you as much as we do. He's put up with you for months. He fell in love with you even if you couldn't hold a proper conversation. What are you afraid of?"

Harry pressed his palms against his head. His head was pounding. He was tired and hungry. And he couldn't understand a word Joseph was telling him. "He deserves better," he whispered desperately. "I can't– I can't love him. Not like this. I can't be what he wants. He– he needs to move on."

"Are you going to move on, Harry?"

Harry shook his head fervently. "But he can."

"He can't."

"He needs to. I'm not strong enough. I can't do anything and everything for him. He's giving me too much. I don't deserve him."

Joseph pulled Harry's hands away. "Listen to me," he said firmly. Harry was trembling as tears cascaded down his cheeks. "He's giving you so much because you've already given enough. You've given enough for five lifetimes. He wants you to know what it's like being us. What it is like to be on the receiving end of it all."

Harry shook his head again, trying to wrench his hands out of the Healer's grasp. "I'll go out of my mind again. I can't go out of my mind. There's too much to do."

"You can be rational and still love him, Harry. Of course you can. Imagine what it felt like in the Great Hall. That's you being sane. That's you being rational. And that's you loving him. You can be all of them. You don't have to fight anymore. Stop fighting."

Harry slumped, falling into Joseph's arms. The Healer caught him, hugging him warmly. Harry breathed freely for the first time in years. His head was clear. His heart stopped aching. His thoughts stopped in their tracks. Stop fighting. This is the wrong fight. He let his sobs leave him unchecked. He wasn't going to fight it. He was sick and tired of being two people. He curled into Joseph and cried his worries away.

* * *

Draco pulled the door open, wiping his hands on his pants. He stopped short when he recognized Harry. "Oh…" he murmured uncomfortably. "Mother didn't tell me you were coming. She's in the–"

"I love you."

Draco looked up at Harry again, his previous sentence long forgotten. "Wh– what?" he stammered.

"I love you," Harry said firmly.

"You…" Draco murmured, searching Harry's expression.

"Yes. I love you," Harry repeated. Draco stared. Harry let out an exasperated breath of air. "Are you even listening to me?" he asked. "I said I love you. The least you could do is hit me or hex me or kill me."

The door slammed shut in Harry's face. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. That was definitely worse that being hit or hexed or killed. He didn't think anything would be worse than those three.

The door swung open again, revealing a gaping Draco. "You're still here…"

Harry frowned in confusion. "Where else would I go?" he murmured helplessly.

Draco snapped his fist forward, hitting Harry's cheek. Both men hissed with pain, Draco shaking his hand and Harry falling over while clutching his face. "Fuck you," Draco muttered, walking back into the house and closing the door forcefully.

Harry groaned, half in agony and half in dismay. Getting hit was _most definitely_ worse than having the door slam shut in his face.

* * *

"I've learnt quite a bit about Wizarding laws since joining the department," Hermione said. "Some of the laws set into place for the house-elves, centaurs and werewolves are appalling. I've been doing my best to make amendments. One of them is regarding employment." Harry nodded for her to continue, trying to figure out where she was going with this. "As I was researching this, I learnt about the selection process that many of the employers use. The thing is, most of them do background checks on the candidates. _Especially_ school and criminal records. The chances of getting the job if you're from Durmstrang is so low, most of them don't even bother trying. They won't get past first interview."

"I had no idea," Harry murmured.

"The first couple years were quite bad for them. Like, physical harm would be fair game if they were seen in public. You won't believe the number of arrests the Ministry made."

"And now?"

"Now it's more isolation than anything else. No one wants to be associated with the Slytherins or Death Eater families."

"So… What do we do?" Harry asked.

Hermione smiled, as though she were waiting for the question. "What we need are examples. A group of individuals who clearly goes against the grain. And you will advocate for them."

Harry's face fell. "Advocate for them? I can't even talk to the press properly," he said nervously.

"All we need to do is create enough interest so the Ministry takes notice. Especially the Minister."

"You want to find…"

"The perfect group of Slytherins," Hermione said, looking as though she wanted to cackle evilly.

"Suicide mission," Harry groaned.

* * *

Andromeda Tonks beamed at Harry as Teddy came bounding down the hall and flung himself at his godfather. "Come on in," she said.

* * *

Terence Higgs paused mid-laugh as he opened the door, the sound stuck in his throat.

"Hey, that's Harry Potter!" his daughter yelled as she ran into the foyer.

"Y– yeah. Go upstairs, honey…"

* * *

Blaise Zabini's brows shot up when he recognized the faces at his doorstep. "What the fu–"

* * *

Adrian Pucey gaped at Harry, blinking owlishly.

* * *

Malcolm Baddock fumbled with his newspaper as he pulled the door open wider to let Hermione in.

* * *

Theodore Nott eyed Harry and Hermione with a faint smile. "Long time," he murmured.

* * *

Astoria Greengrass smiled awkwardly, standing aside.

* * *

Ron stared at the list. "Really?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yeah," Hermione said, offended by his tone.

Harry looked over Ron's shoulder, reading.

**Slytherin Potentials**  
_Malcolm Baddock  
Alphard Black  
Phineas Black  
Regulus Black  
Terence Higgs  
Astoria Greengrass  
Theodore Nott  
Adrian Pucey  
Severus Snape  
Andromeda Tonks  
Cedrella Weasley  
Blaise Zabini_

"Grappling at straws, aren't we?" Ron asked. "You've got Gramma in there… And Phineas Black! Wait, what? Why the hell?"

"For your information," Hermione huffed, snatching the parchment from his hand, "Phineas was one of the more vocal activists for Muggle protection in the early 1900s."

"Oh, how wonderful," Ron cooed, clapping his hands together in mock enthusiasm. "Now we just need to dig him out of his grave!"

Harry smacked Ron over the head before Hermione could. "These people are our best shot at educating everyone. Understand?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Ron grumbled. "Where's Malfoy in all this?"

Hermione glared at her husband while Harry's eyes clouded over. Ron held his hands up in surrender, walking away.

* * *

"What, exactly, do you need me to do?" Theo asked.

"When shit hits the fan…"

He laughed. "Hmm… You want me to get rained on by shit?" he asked.

Harry shrugged. "I can't promise you anything. But things can't get worse, can it?"

* * *

"Oh, it can get a hell of a lot worse than this, Potter," Blaise muttered.

"You know what I mean," Harry sighed in defeat.

"Besides, where were you? Stuff's been happening for years, you know?" Blaise informed, staring at Harry intently.

* * *

"Never mind that," Harry said quickly. "It's just that there's going to be a lot of publicity on this. And we want to make sure that you won't mind getting stuck in the middle."

Astoria shrugged. "I have nothing better to do anyway," she said.

* * *

"It might get worse before it gets better," Harry warned.

"It's going to get worse for you," Andromeda said worriedly. "Are you sure about this, Harry? I mean, this stuff will work itself out. It usually does."

"Yeah, but how long do we wait for it to work itself out?" he asked.

She sighed.

* * *

"Which is why we need to take the offensive," Harry explained.

"I suppose I shouldn't be too worried if Harry Potter is leading the crusade," Malcolm said with a wary smile.

"It's what I hear," Harry said sardonically.

* * *

"So… what, we just… get out there?" Adrian asked, not quite looking forward to it.

* * *

Harry smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry. I'll be setting the ground rules," he said.

Terence blinked at him uncertainly.

* * *

Healer Warren waited for Harry to be seated before asking, "Heard you've been busy. With what?"

Harry shrugged. "This and that. Didn't realize how bad things were out there," he said.

"And how have you been handling it?"

"As well as expected," Harry answered.

"What's wrong?" Joseph asked, sitting back.

Harry smiled wryly. "Am I that easy to read?" he asked.

"When you have worked with a patient for this long, it's quite easy to read them," Joseph informed.

Harry shook his head. "It's nothing. Draco and I… had a fight. That's all," he said.

"Don't want to talk about it?" the Healer inquired.

"Nothing to talk about. He punched me," Harry said vacantly.

Joseph arched his brow. "Why?" he asked.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Because… I told him I loved him," he said.

"He hit you because you love him. Strange."

"Everything's strange with him. Besides, I deserved it. I can't expect him to forgive me just like that, right?"

"Just give it time," Joseph agreed.

"Which is why I'm keeping my mind off of it with other stuff."

* * *

"So… what's happening with Malfoy?" Ron asked his wife cautiously.

"Lover's spat," she answered in airy nonchalance.

Ron gagged, shuddering. "Okay. Can you put it in terms that won't make me hurl?" he asked.

Hermione smiled. "I'll try," she murmured. "Harry was mean to him so now he's mad at Harry. Lover's spat."

"Harry's pretty down about it, huh?" Ron asked. It was quite hard to miss the moping and longing stares out the window. "He's acting like bloody Juliet."

"Oh, let him have his fun," Hermione said, waving her hand to dismiss Ron.

"_Fun_? That's his idea of _fun_? He's seriously messed up…"

* * *

Harry found himself surrounded by golden reeds that were waving in the breeze. The sun was setting behind the knoll. He looked up at the orange skies. Where was he? A throbbing pain in his wrist caused him to look down at it. Blood ran down his fingers, dripping onto the gold. A slender cut on his wrist was bubbling with red. He looked at his other hand. A dagger hung limp. He dropped it in horror, falling to his knees. He frantically tried to stop the blood from pouring out. "No, no, no," he murmured in panic, searching for his wand. He didn't have it on him. The pain increased tenfold, causing him to cry out. He clutched his wrist in his hand, tears falling. Too soon. He had too much to do. Not yet. His breath came in spurts as his heart faltered. The sun disappeared, casting long shadows around him. His clothes were stained with blood and tears. "Please, please," he sobbed, not knowing who he should beg so he could live a few minutes longer. There was too much to do.

He jerked awake and fell out of bed, scratching at his wrist. It took him many minutes to realize that it had been a dream. He slowed his heaving sobs, clutching his hands to his chest. He needed to stay sane and stay alive. He gulped down his terror, pressing his fists to his mouth to stifle any sounds that escaped him. He breathed in deeply, shaking as he did it. He wiped away his tears. He struggled back onto his bed, staving off his nausea. Stay sane. Stay alive. Just for a little while longer. He nodded to himself, resolute. He laid his head against the pillows. Everyone gets nightmares. He'll get through his. He pulled the covers over himself and fell into his nightmares again.

* * *

The Ministry Spring Gala was one of the most publicized events of the year, promising to be teeming with celebrities and rich wizarding families. The people had eyes for one wizard in particular, of course.

"You'll do fine," Andromeda said, straightening Harry's tie.

"I've never been this nervous before!" Harry exclaimed. "Not even with Voldemort. This is absurd…"

"Don't worry, Uncle Harry," Teddy said gravely. "We all get nervous sometimes. I'll stick with you."

Harry laughed, bending down and hugging Teddy. "Well, I sure am glad for you," he whispered. He looked up at Astoria. "Ready?" he asked. She looked mildly nauseous as she tugged at her gown and nodded. Harry stood up and clutched Teddy's hand. He held his arm out for Astoria. They hooked elbows. Andromeda held Teddy's free hand. They apparated to the gala.

The arrival of Harry Potter led to organized chaos along the entrance of the banquet hall. Bulbs flickered as photos were captured on either side of the party. "Mr. Potter!" reporters shouted, vying for Harry's attention. To their immense surprise, Harry paused for them.

"Is it true that you will be given a position in the Auror team?"

Harry laughed. "I hope not," he said, shaking his head. "I might be a little rusty."

"Then what plans?"

Harry flicked his eyes at Andromeda, smiling. "Professional Quidditch?" he murmured, winking for the camera.

The reporters were more than happy at having talked to _the_ Harry Potter about anything. "Who have you brought with you?"

Harry had been waiting for the question. "This is my godson, Ted," he said. Teddy waved happily, enjoying the attention. "And his grandmother, Andromeda," Harry gestured to the statuesque woman in red. She looked every inch a regal member of the Black legacy. She smiled warmly, nodding. "And my… date," Harry said, for the lack of a better word, grinning, "Astoria Greengrass." With that, he urged his guests along, walking past the security and into the elaborate hall.

"Smooth," Astoria murmured, smirking.

"Now you're famous," Harry responded, chuckling.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks InsaneOrange and Maiden of Books! You're awesome possums!

* * *

**

The hall was decked in rich colors and filled with rich people. Teddy was jumping from foot to foot as he got an eyeful of the buffet table that lined one of the walls. Andromeda rolled her eyes and escorted him to the food. Harry guided Astoria towards the champagne, handing her a glass. He clinked his to hers and murmured, "Here's to hoping all goes well." She nodded, taking a sip. No more than five seconds later, they were whisked away in everyone's excitement to meet Harry Potter.

Meanwhile Blaise was looking immensely uncomfortable near Luna, who insisted on getting him to meet everyone who was anyone. She kept a firm hand against his and, try as he might, he couldn't shake her off. If anyone was surprised by Blaise's appearance, nothing was said.

Hermione and Ron were mingling with Terence and his family. Neville was chatting quasi-amicably with Theo and Adrian.

"I am the Head of Transportation, Sven Pollick. This is my wife, Mallory."

Harry nodded in response. "Pleasure," he said, shaking their hands. "This is Astoria Greengrass."

"Oh?" Mallory said in surprise. "Greengrass?"

"The very same," Harry said. Astoria smiled graciously. Mallory remained tight-lipped, flicking her eyes from Harry to Astoria.

"We have waited so long to meet with you," Sven said to Harry, oblivious to Mallory's reaction. "In fact, the entire Ministry has been waiting for you to join us."

Harry sipped his drink, trying to figure out how to say this. "You might have to wait a little longer," he said vaguely.

"As long as it's not five more years," Sven said, laughing rambunctiously.

Mallory seemed to have found her tongue again. "Um… How… how did you two meet?" she asked, faking her bright smile.

"We went to school together," Astoria answered.

Mallory kept her gaze on Harry. "Last I heard, you were dating Ginevra, weren't you?" she asked.

Harry shrugged, uncomfortable with the turn of conversation. "That was a long time ago. She's engaged now. Not to me," he said.

"Ah, I see," Mallory murmured.

Once they slipped out of the couple's grasp, Astoria whispered, "That was more than a little weird."

"No kidding!"

She finished her drink in one gulp. It refilled itself. "So… we're… what, dating?" she asked hesitantly.

Harry narrowed his eyes and looked at her. "I… guess?"

"Should we lay it on thick?" she asked, a sparkle in her eye.

Harry stepped back defensively. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said.

She kissed him with an airy touch. "That's okay?" she asked.

Harry tried not to gape in shock. "I– um– oh… like that," he stammered.

"Yes, like that," she murmured, rolling her eyes. "Oh look, here comes Mr. and Mrs. Wonder-What-Gossip-I-Can-Get-Out-Of-This."

Harry snapped out of it as the Department Head of Potions Regulations introduced himself and his wife.

As the night wore on, Harry found himself in the able hands of his date. She kept 'laying it on thick', although he was getting suspicious of her intentions. She seemed to be enjoying it a little too much. He was at the buffet table, picking out the food, when Malcolm and Blaise sidled towards him. "So…" Blaise said nonchalantly.

Harry looked up, startled at the appearance of the men. "Oh! Hey," he said. "How's it going with you guys?"

"Apparently not as well as it's going with you," Blaise drawled, arching a brow.

Harry frowned in confusion. Malcolm made kissy faces at Harry. He blanched. "I– that– that wasn't my idea! I swear!" he said frantically.

"Sure, whatever," Blaise said, waving Harry silent. "She's getting a kick out of it."

"She is?" Harry squeaked.

"Who wouldn't want to kiss Harry Potter?" Malcolm asked sardonically.

"I sure would," Blaise muttered, biting into a shrimp.

"Anyways, enjoy it while it lasts, Potter. She's a heartbreaker."

"It's not like that," Harry said helplessly.

"Of course not," Malcolm commented, smiling slyly.

"I'm serious!" Harry said into deaf ears. Speak of the devil. Astoria appeared behind him, scaring him into spilling his drink on the ground. "Damn it," he swore, jumping out of the way.

"A little tense, aren't we?" Blaise said, smiling sweetly.

Harry flicked his eyes from Astoria to Blaise to Malcolm. "Wait… you're all in on this, aren't you?" he sighed.

"We have no idea what you're talking about," Astoria murmured, picking a strawberry from Harry's plate and biting into it with excessive sensuousness.

Harry shuddered, moving away.

"Hah!" Blaise exclaimed while Malcolm groaned.

"What? What's going on?" Harry asked, lost in the web of Slytherin deceit.

"You're gay!" Astoria whispered excitedly.

Harry's eyes widened. "I– what– you… wh– huh?"

"Fork it out," Blaise murmured, holding his hand out at Malcolm. The latter scowled, digging into his pocket. Harry was blushing himself bright red.

"We just had to make sure," Astoria explained.

"You guys are evil!" Harry said helplessly, walking away in defeat. Besides, the news wasn't that he was gay. The problem was that he was kind of in love with Draco. In 'love' with Draco. In _something_ with Draco.

"Tortured you enough?"

Harry glanced at Theo pathetically, jerked out of his thoughts. He'd have time to figure them out later. Theo laughed, appearing sympathetic. "I forgot how roundabout Slytherins were," Harry murmured.

"We get things done," Theo corrected.

"Yeah. By messing with my head."

"Harry, my boy!" Amos Diggory called out loudly, stopping the men in their tracks. Harry turned to the bearded man. "Long time!" Amos said, pulling Harry into a hug.

"How are you, Mr. Diggory?" Harry asked.

"Very well. I am very well," Amos said. "Even better now that I have seen you."

Harry blushed modestly. "This is Theo Nott," he introduced, gesturing to Theo.

Amos grinned at Theo, holding out his hand. "I am Amos Diggory. I work at the Control for Magical Creatures," he said.

"Nice to meet you," Theo said, smiling.

"So, how are you two enjoying the night so far?" Amos asked.

"It's brilliant," Harry said sincerely.

"Isn't it, though? Everyone looks smashing, eh? I work with most of these people and I hardly recognize them!" Amos said giddily. "Speaking of which," he looked at Harry suggestively, "a spot is always open for you at my office, Harry."

Harry laughed. "That's very kind of you. But I don't think I will be working for the Ministry," he said apologetically.

"Ah, but a man with your power would do wonders," Amos said with twinkling eyes.

"I'm just a figurehead," Harry said, shrugging. "No real power."

Amos chuckled, shaking his head. "And what do you do, Theo?" he asked.

"Nothing, at the moment," Theo answered.

Harry interjected with, "He's completed his medical degree."

"Why, that's wonderful!" Amos said. "You know, Cedric wanted to be Mediwizard as well. Noble profession. St. Mungo's would be glad to have an addition to their team, I am sure."

Theo murmured disjointedly, not quite saying anything. Harry knew why. Theo had already applied to the hospital for a position. He had been rejected more than once, despite his qualifications. "He has tried," Harry said cautiously.

"Pardon?" Amos said.

"He has tried to apply. He was rejected thrice," Harry explained.

Amos looked perplexed. "Why?" he asked, looking at Theo to try and find any infirmities with the man.

"Because his father was a Death Eater."

The statement shocked Amos into silence. Theo looked ill at ease. He tried to silence Harry with a glare. But this was what Harry had set out to do.

"It's the only reason he hasn't been asked to join them," Harry continued. "Absolutely criminal, isn't it? Why would a son pay for his father's crimes?"

Amos glanced at Theo uneasily. "Why, indeed…" he murmured.

"He passed at the top of his class, you know?" Harry said.

"Mhm…"

"He studied in–"

"I can talk for myself, Potter," Theo huffed indignantly.

Amos hid his smile while Harry looked affronted. "You weren't saying anything," the latter said.

"Because I don't go around tooting my own horn," Theo said, scuffing the floor with his shoe.

"It's how you get ahead in life," Amos said.

In the meantime, Dean and Seamus were sizing Blaise and Malcolm up. "How did you get an invite?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Potter," Blaise murmured, appearing nonchalant.

"_Harry_ invited you?" Seamus asked, searching the multitude of guests for his friend.

"Yes," Malcolm answered.

"_Why_?" Dean asked incredulously.

Blaise had to consciously stop from smirking. "We're friends and all, you know," he said.

The two men gaped at Blaise and Malcolm. "Since when?" they asked in unison.

Blaise sighed, looking at his friend. "Oh, I don't know. Six days?" he said, making a show of counting.

Malcolm looked distant, tapping his chin. "Yeah… Sounds about right," he said, nodding. They left Dean and Seamus to sputter amongst themselves.

The arrival of the Minister caused a lull in the conversation. Department heads, foreign dignitaries and security soon surrounded Kingsley. Astoria arched brows, to which Adrian responded with, "I know…"

Teddy ran up to Harry, who was in the midst of talking with Gawain Robards, the Head Auror. "Harry, Harry!" Teddy squealed.

"What, what?" Harry asked, brushing the boy's curly blonde hair into a neat bunch. Teddy scowled, swatting Harry's hand away and transforming his curls into short, black hair like Harry's.

"The Minister's here," the boy gushed. He pulled Harry's hand, wanting him to bend down. When Harry did so, Teddy whispered, "I want to meet him."

Harry laughed. "When he's not so busy, I'll take you to see him, okay?" he said.

Teddy nodded enthusiastically, changing his hair to blond curls again. "Okay! I'll be with Grandma," he said, running back to Andromeda.

"Dora's child…" Gawain murmured, lost in thought.

"Yes," Harry said with a proud smile. "He's my godson."

"She was a great addition to my team," Gawain said sadly. "I'm glad her son is in such capable hands."

"Andy does all the heavy lifting," Harry said, looking back at Andromeda. "I'm just the crazy uncle."

It took the better part of the night before Harry could close in on Kingsley. Teddy was tagging behind his godfather, his excitement causing him to bounce and change features at random. Kingsley caught Harry's eye, smiling jovially. "Harry," he said, nodding good-naturedly.

"Minister," Harry said in turn, smiling.

"Kingsley's fine."

Harry laughed. "How have you been?" he asked.

"I should be asking you that," Kingsley said, looking at Harry pointedly.

"Much better now, thank you," Harry said. "Guess I needed a break."

"To put it lightly," Kingsley murmured.

Teddy grabbed Harry's attention with a quick tug on his cuff. Harry looked down at the impatient boy. "This is Teddy," he said, introducing him to Kingsley. "Tonks'–"

"Of course I know Teddy," Kingsley said, picking up the ecstatic boy. "It's been much too long." He looked at Harry. "Hopefully we can change that?"

Harry nodded in agreement. Teddy seemed ready to faint. "Say hi, Teddy," Harry murmured.

Teddy blushed in mortification. "Hi," he said quietly.

"Shy?" Kingsley asked good-naturedly.

"Merlin, no," Harry answered, earning a glare from the boy.

Kingsley chuckled, scanning the crowd. "Now, is it just me or am I seeing some new faces?" he asked out of mild amusement.

Harry appeared nonchalant. "A few," he said, shrugging.

"Something you wanted to talk to me about, Harry?"

Harry smiled faintly. "As a matter of fact, yes…"

"Couldn't possibly be regarding these new faces, could it?"

"Couldn't possibly be about that," Harry responded, his smile widening.

* * *

Harry fell into bed, finally free of his stiff clothes and the hounding cameras. He struggled into the covers, curling up and hugging a pillow close. Time to think. About Draco.

Harry from six years ago would be kicking his arse for even hinting at this. Harry from two months ago would love him for hinting at this. Harry now… Harry wasn't sure. Why did he love Draco Malfoy?

He gasped in shock, the cold nipping him harshly. He shivered, hugging himself. He recognized the room vaguely. He stumbled forward, trying to ward off the chill. Soft voices called out to him, calm and inviting. He walked towards the whispers. His breath formed in front of him. He walked towards the yellow light. He arrived in front of the mirror. Mirror of Erised. Everything looked hazy, as though a heavy fog was rolling in. He stepped towards it, brushing away the steam that condensed on the mirror. He stared at Draco's reflection. "What're you doing in there?" Harry asked, pressing his hand against the mirror.

Draco smiled back, his hand pressed against the mirror as well. He shrugged, silent.

They looked at each other for a long while. Harry felt a smile forming on his lips as he kept his eyes on Draco's lips. "Why are you smiling?" he asked.

Draco shrugged again, his smile turning to a grin.

"Hmm," Harry murmured, grinning back. He slid his hand up the dusty mirror. Draco did the same, reflecting Harry. "Why won't you talk?" Harry asked. He didn't expect a reply and he didn't get one. Draco drew a heart on the steam with his finger. Harry laughed with unusual euphoria, doing the same on his side. "You're so much nicer now, Draco," he said approvingly. "I like that."

Draco smirked devilishly, nodding. That only caused Harry's heart to thrill and his lips to quirk up.

"Are you still mad that I punched you?" Harry asked. Draco's smirk faded away, replaced by a revelatory scowl. Harry felt miffed. "You punched me back!" he exclaimed, frowning. "We're even."

Draco didn't seem to think so. His frown of displeasure deepened, causing Harry's glower to grow dark as well. They glared at each other now. Draco swiped his palm against the heart he had drawn. Harry did the same. "You want me to grovel, do you?" he asked haughtily. Although Draco didn't answer, Harry knew the answer was yes. "Well, keep waiting." He was given the two-finger salute in response. "Fuck off," Harry muttered, stepping away from the mirror.

He jerked awake. He was standing upright. He crumbled to the floor from shock, holding himself up on his hands and knees. He was in the bathroom. Why was he in the bathroom? He worked on calming his heart and gulping down breaths without choking on them. He picked himself up gingerly. Sleepwalking. He looked up. He stared into the mirror. It reflected only himself. He saw himself staring at himself. Not Draco. His dream slipped away from his memory as he blinked at himself. All that was left were wisps of fog. Draco's smirk. A crooked heart.

Harry rubbed his tired eyes. He needed sleep. Sleep without Draco haunting his dreams. "Damn him," Harry yawned, shuffling back to his bed. He would have time to figure it out. Later. Much, much later. Preferably never.

* * *

The bell rang insistently, not wanting to be ignored. Harry frowned at his parchment for a short while, but the annoying ringing continued. He placed the quill in the inkbottle and got up tiredly. His nightmares refused to go away. He supposed that it was time to talk to Healer Warren about them. He was exhausted. And in no mood to entertain. He shuffled to the door and opened it.

Theo was beaming widely, waving a parchment in front of Harry. "I got a letter!"

"Good for you," Harry muttered, stepping aside to let Theo through.

"No! From the Ministry! I got a letter from the Ministry!" Theo exclaimed, shoving the paper into Harry's hand.

"What is it?" Harry asked, scanning the words.

"An interview, Potter! They want to interview me for a field doctor position!"

"What?" Harry gasped, going over the words again.

"I know! I know!"

Harry looked up at Theo with wide eyes. Theo laughed and hugged Harry. "This is amazing!" Harry murmured. "So fast!"

"Thank you so much!"

Harry blushed, embarrassed. "Well, I– I didn't really– I mean, you were the one who– I didn't really do–"

"Oh, shut up, Potter!" Theo said, waving at Harry dismissively. "Anyway," he said, snatching the paper from Harry's hand, "I thought you should be the first one to know. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, b–"

Theo had already disapparated away.

"–ye," Harry finished, smiling in surprise. "Wow…" he breathed, shutting the door.

* * *

"And don't come back until six," Narcissa said, shutting the door in Draco's face.

"Mother," Draco whined, pounding his head against the door. "Where am I supposed to go?"

"Anywhere _not_ in this house," Narcissa said, her words muffled.

"You're so _mean_!"

"I know. Now stop pestering me," Narcissa said, smiling as she walked away.

Draco sighed and turned around. He glared at the beautiful blue sky, squinting against the blooming headache. He hadn't been outside in weeks. He sat down on the stairs. He was going to sit there until his mother collected him. Then he jumped back up on his feet. He wasn't a child. He could go and… have a bite to eat or… read at the library or… walk about. He kicked an innocent pebble clear across the walkway, stuffing his hands in his pockets and dragging his feet. He disapparated to Merlow's Pub near Diagon Alley.

Once he was seated at a booth, he dropped his face in his hands. He was being ridiculous. He was moping over Harry bloody Potter. He was feeling sorry for himself because he fell for Harry bloody Potter. And he was beating himself up for beating up Harry bloody Potter. Which brought him to another point. He had punched Harry. For what? A score of sore knuckles? A battered ego? Harry loved him and he…

"Damn it," Draco muttered, sighing. He took a cleansing breath.

_Harry hit me first_. And that had hurt. In the hospital, when Harry had told him that… when Harry said that he… And all Draco had wanted to do was to try and understand. But Harry wouldn't – he didn't – he hit Draco instead. He said that Draco was keeping him from getting better. That wasn't true. Draco had helped Harry out of his mind. And Harry had the nerve to tell him that he was only using Harry for personal gain.

_That's not true._ Circumstances were such that Harry's help was needed. But it's not as though Draco had roped Harry into helping Narcissa.

_Why do I love him_? Draco didn't know. He had fallen in love with… the quiet and reserved Harry. The Harry that needed Draco's help. He had fallen in love with Harry who couldn't speak anything but Draco's name. He had fallen in love with the beautiful green eyes that stared at him rapturously. He had fallen in love with the innocent smile that wasn't affected by the past.

_But that's not Harry._

The Harry that had knocked at his door was so different. Assertive, stubborn, strong… The Harry that had knocked at his door didn't need him. He wasn't the same. And that hurt. That hurt more than Draco cared to admit. Because the man Draco had fallen for wasn't real. _This_ Harry was real. And apparently, _this_ Harry was going out with Astoria Greengrass. "Damned arse."

* * *

Harry had never seen so many dirty looks turned on him. Perhaps the trip to Diagon Alley wasn't the best idea he had had. "Ugh, I'm waiting for the rotten tomatoes," Harry murmured, sidling towards Ron.

"They wouldn't dare," Ron said. "Besides, it's just looks. Better than actual hexes, right?"

"Right," Harry sighed.

News of his 'entourage' at the Spring Gala was the news in the gossip world. Now, not only was he labeled a sympathizer of the Dark army, he was also scorned by many of the people he encountered. There were also leaked reports of him referring said Dark army members to various jobs at the Ministry. The Minister's popularity dropped a dozen points when the people started realizing that jobs were being handed to the family members of Death Eaters.

"Maybe it's time for another press conference," Ron said slyly.

"Ugh. Spare me the horror," Harry muttered, quickly slipping into George's store.

* * *

"I've been getting calls," Terence said.

"Oh?" Harry asked, smiling.

"Yeah. From…"

Harry waited. And waited. Terence's eyes were downturned as he stirred his drink. Harry couldn't read the expression on his face. "From?" Harry asked finally, leaning in.

Terence looked up at Harry, a grin growing slowly. "The bloody Falcons, Potter!" he laughed.

"WHAT?"

* * *

"Oh, what a surprise? More hate mail," Harry said sarcastically, incinerating the howler before it got a chance to scream at him.

"I'm very proud of you, Harry," Hermione said as she coaxed Rose into eating another spoonful of fruits. "You're taking this quite well."

"How do you know I'm not crying myself to sleep, huh?" Harry asked, opening the next letter.

"You may very well be. But at least you aren't crying on my couch," Hermione noted.

"True that," Harry groused. "Well, at least this one's more civilized than the last," he added. "Dear Harry Crocker. How sweet! Hope you die a painful death for your betrayal to the people who supported you for twenty years." Harry waved the parchment at Hermione, who was trying her darnedest not to laugh. "They seem to have forgotten the part where I _saved_ their arses."

"Oh, Harry," she smiled, shaking her head at him.

* * *

"I've been having nightmares, Lily," Harry murmured, lying still as the Apprentice cast charms over him to assess his health.

"That's very normal. What kind of nightmares?" she asked, handing him a potion.

He gulped it down, gagging. He swallowed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. She handed him some water. He drank it slowly. "Um," he murmured, gulping in air with his water. "Bad… ones?"

"Bad how?" she asked, reading over her notes and scribbling a few extra lines on the parchment.

Harry shifted uncomfortably. "Like… suicide ones," he mumbled, clearing his throat.

"Hmm…" was all she said.

"So, that's– that's okay?" Harry asked.

She glanced at Harry. "No. Not okay, per se. But, as I had said, it's normal," she said. "Have you been having suicidal thoughts while awake?"

Harry shook his head vehemently. "No. Never."

"But?"

He fidgeted with his cuff as he said, "But… I– I've also been… sleepwalking," he said, wincing.

"And…"

"What if I– I don't know, do something?"

She sighed. "Which is why we've been urging you to stay with Hermione," she said, raising her brows.

Harry looked disgruntled by that option. "I don't want to burden them," he said quietly.

"Harry," Lily said, her voice firm. She sat down next to him. "They've been coming to see you every week for the past five years. In fact, _they_ suggested that you stay with them. Do you really think that they will feel burdened by you?"

"I don't know," Harry muttered glumly.

She rolled her eyes.

* * *

"Time for an intervention, Draco," Narcissa said, sitting down on Draco's bed.

Draco frowned and burrowed under the sheets, turning away from his mother. "I was just about to go to sleep," he said.

"And now you're going to sit up and talk to me," she said, stroking Draco's hair.

"No, I'm not," he retorted.

"Then tell me what's wrong! You aren't even _trying_ to look happy! What happened?" she asked incredulously.

"Nothing." Draco silently chided himself for sulking so openly.

"I've noticed it since court. Did something happen there?" she asked. "With Harry?" She felt him jerk under her. "You two fought?" she prodded.

"It's nothing, Mother," Draco said tensely.

"Really? It's nothing and here you are crying over Harry?"

"I'm _not_ crying."

She watched her son for a short while before sitting down in bed. "Do you… like him, Draco?" she asked hesitantly. This was something they had _never_ talked about. They were never at a liberty to talk about such menial things when Draco was younger. Then again, Draco had never been like this when he was younger. He didn't answer. His mother tried to cajole him into turning around by placing a hand on his shoulder and pressing down. Draco shifted away from Narcissa, tucking his chin to his chest and squeezing his eyes shut. "He… likes you too," she said hesitantly.

Draco's eyes shot open and he flipped over to look at his mother in disbelief. "What?" he asked, dumbfounded.

Narcissa cupped Draco's chin and kissed his forehead. "You're so adorable," she murmured, smiling.

Draco swatted Narcissa's hand away. "What do you mean, he likes me?"

Narcissa laughed. "So this is all a big misunderstanding, then?" she asked.

"_Mother_!" Draco snapped.

Narcissa tucked Draco in. "It's just that after court, he said something to me. That's all," she said, smoothing the sheets over Draco.

"What did he say?" Draco asked carefully.

"He asked if I could keep you safe. I said yes. That's all," she said. "I've kept you safe, haven't I?"

Draco blinked at Narcissa. "Huh? What did he ask?"

"He wanted to make sure you were going to be safe. So, I'm thinking… he likes you too," Narcissa said, shrugging.

Draco made a noise of exasperation, groaning and dropping his arm over his eyes dramatically. "I don't understand him," he grumbled.

"What don't you understand?"

"One day he tells me loves me. The next he hits me and says he hates me. And now, he tells me he loves me again."

Narcissa's mouth was open as she gaped at him. What was she hearing? The only words that stuck in her mind was 'he hits me and…' "He _hit_ you?" she asked, anger seeping into her words.

Draco hid his face against her. "You're missing the whole point," he muttered. "I hit him back, if it's any consolation."

Again, the only thing that stuck in Narcissa's mind was, 'I hit him back…' "What?" she asked in shock.

Draco tsked. "That's the last time I'm talking to you," he said. "I want to sleep."

"Wait. He– you– he– he loves you? As in… romantically?" she winced.

"Ugh," Draco murmured, throwing the pillow over his head. "I'm not listening."

Narcissa stared at her son with blatant astonishment. Harry Potter loved her son? What had the world come to?

* * *

**Mass updates + Birthday = REVIEWS!**

**Only time of the year I'll solicit for REVIEWS! It's my first birthday since I joined FFN. Eh? Reviews? I'll even throw in a little smut for you. And by a little, I mean a lot. And by a lot, I mean getting smacked in the face. With smut.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Huge thanks to InsaneOrange! You're so awesome :D

* * *

**

"Heard from Potter?" Blaise asked, sipping his Butterbeer.

"Why would I hear from Potter?" Draco muttered vehemently.

Blaise was quick to misjudge Draco's vehemence. "Um… I don't know. He came to see me," he said, knowing that he was treading in rough waters.

"Why?"

"How else do you think I came out of hiding?" Blaise asked, rolling his eyes. "He tricked me into it. That's how. _And_," he said, pausing for effect, "want some dirt on him?"

"No," Draco said glumly. Of course Harry had gone to see Blaise. Harry had gone to see Blaise so he could invite the ponce to the Spring Gala. Along with a dozen other Slytherins. And he didn't have the decency to visit Draco? Fuck Potter.

"He's gay!"

Draco sputtered in shock, pushing away from the counter. "What the hell, Zabini?" he asked, startled.

"I know, right?" Blaise said, laughing gleefully.

"No! I mean, how do you know he's gay?" Draco corrected frantically. "Did he– I mean, did you…"

"What? No!" Blaise said, offended. "He's definitely _not_ my type."

Draco fixed a hard stare on Blaise. "I thought he was dating Astoria," he said slowly.

Blaise snorted. "But really, I always thought she would have higher standards," he laughed. "No. That was just her being… Astoria. We wanted to make sure he was gay. So, we– we made sure he was gay. Won a Galleon off it."

"Oh…"

"Anyway," Blaise said, moving on, "Adrian and Terence were asked to try out for the Falcons. Heard about that?"

"What?" Draco was getting too many shocks in such short minutes. "They're what?"

"Thanks to Potter. Damned Potter. It's like we're destined to owe him a _debt of gratitude_ for all he's done for us measly Slytherins," Blaise muttered, none too happy about it.

"I'm sorry. What the hell is happening here?" Draco asked, throwing his hands down in defeat.

Blaise shrugged. "Fuck if I know. I'm surprised he hasn't talked to you. He bailed Narcissa out, didn't he?" he asked.

Draco nodded distantly. "He did. Why would he talk to me?"

"I don't know. It's like this crusade. He's trying to… clear our names, I guess? That Spring Gala was his idea. You know, integrate us into the Ministry and maybe get the Minister to notice us. Potter knows really high people in high places and all. Anyway, like, three days later, Theo gets an interview call! Weird, huh?"

"So… Potter… did what?"

"Potter's doing his 'job'. He thinks he's doing his job, anyway. You know, peace and love and all that crap. I don't know. He probably gets off on this."

Draco grimaced, his thoughts racing. Harry was doing his job.

* * *

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You don't really expect me to do that, do you?" Harry asked, raising a finger to stop all the chatter.

"What? Why not?" Adrian asked. "You were the one who said professional Quidditch, not us."

Terence, Ron and Neville nodded in ascent, eyes wide with expectance. Harry tsked. "But I never… I mean, it wasn't really a serious statement, you know? I just… said it because they expected me to say something," he said faintly.

"Whatever. No harm in trying out, right?"

No harm in trying out. But what if he was good? Worse yet, what if he was awful?

* * *

"That's a big inheritance, Harry," Andromeda said, her eyes wide.

"For Teddy," Harry smiled. "My parents left this for me and now I want to make sure Teddy has it too. It made a difference."

"Hmm…"

"What?" Harry asked, folding up the document again.

Andromeda appeared detached as she looked at Harry. "He's like your own son, isn't he?" she asked.

Harry blushed. "Um… He's… more like a… brother?" he said hesitantly.

She laughed. "You must be the nicest older brother in the world, then," she said.

"I'll take what I can get," Harry chuckled.

* * *

"Well, _obviously_ half the reason he got in is because he's Harry Potter," Blaise said.

Harry wanted to sputter indignantly, but sadly, he knew that Blaise was right. The tryouts had gone well. A little too well. In fact, he wasn't even asked to come back for more practices. The team practically handed him the Quidditch robes on a silver platter. "But I'm good," Harry said sullenly.

"Yeah," Seamus answered. "Good at kissing arse."

Harry wanted to slam his tankard on the table but then realized how unrefined that would seem. He slammed his tankard on the table. "I don't have to listen to this crap," he said dramatically.

Ron and Theo were laughing uproariously. Adrian said, "It's true. He was quite good."

"Got another arse kisser here," Blaise said, pointing to his friend. Adrian scowled, giving Blaise the two-fingered salute.

"Whatever," Harry said loudly, quieting down the rowdy crowd. "I'm not taking the job."

A collective groan filled the table. "What?" Ron all but shouted.

"Yeah! What?" Dean crowed.

Harry shrugged in defense. "I mean, I'm not cut out for it. You know, the practices and traveling and interviews and–"

"Money and fame–"

"And mansions and parties–"

"And fans–"

"And money–"

"And more money–"

"And even more money."

Harry threw his hands up in defeat. "Why do I even bother?" he asked.

* * *

"I'm so drunk," Harry slurred.

"Then that makes me hammered," Ron answered. He pushed Harry through the door. "Sleep here tonight. I don't trust you to get home in one piece."

Harry didn't have the stomach to answer. He dragged himself into the drawing room, bumping his shins into too many things. He fell onto the couch and sighed. "Goodnight," he said happily.

"Hmm," Ron murmured, trying to conjure a blanket for Harry. "Goodnight."

"Hey, Ron," Harry said, pulling Ron down by the arm. Ron stumbled to the floor, crouching awkwardly by Harry's head. "You're happy, aren't you?"

"Of course."

"Hermione is happy, isn't she?"

"Mhm," Ron murmured absently, finally managing to drag the blanket over Harry.

"Teddy's happy, isn't he?"

"I'm sure he is."

"I'm happy, aren't I?"

Ron smiled faintly. "I'd like to think so," he said, nodding.

"Good. _Everybody_ is happy," Harry grinned, his eyes closing. "That's good."

"You're worse off than me," Ron said, patting Harry's head. "Go to sleep."

"Sleep," Harry sighed. "I love sleep."

"Oh? News to me."

Harry tsked, trying to get comfortable. Ron managed to insert a pillow between Harry's head and the armrest. "You know who isn't happy?" Harry asked, curling on his side.

"Who?"

"Draco Malfoy. That damned and selfish son of a bitch."

Ron laughed. "Whatever," he garbled.

"Yeah, whatever. Screw his arse. If he doesn't love me, I don't love him either," Harry said stubbornly, shaking his fists.

Ron's eyes went wide as he tried to stop from laughing until daybreak. "What?" he gasped, snickering.

"I don't need him. I don't need anybody. I'm my own man," Harry bellowed. Ron clapped his hand on Harry's mouth, trying to shush him. Harry shook his head, trying to dislodge Ron's palm. "Go away."

Ron chuckled to himself, pulling his hand away. "You've made us all _very_ happy, okay? Now go to sleep."

"Sleep," Harry whispered, hugging himself warmly. "I love sleep."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Oh, I know," he said, getting up unsteadily. He staggered towards the stairs.

"I don't ever want to wake up," Harry called out.

"Goodnight, Harry," Ron said firmly from the steps, grinning.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry grumbled.

* * *

_Thunder sounded around him, crashing through the building. Loud screams erupted, echoing against the stone. Harry gasped, clapping his hand to his scar. It burned, as though splitting. Shouts for help and yells were hurting his ears and causing his stomach to lurch. The cold was unbearable. His teeth chattered and he couldn't breathe. Suffocating. He heard his name being screamed over and over again. But he didn't want to open his eyes._

_Abruptly, the screams died down. Silence._

_He was alone._

_He could hear the vague voices of his friends calling out to him. What was he supposed to do? This felt so familiar. His head hurt. It hurt too much. He didn't want to think anymore. Everything was too dark. He was stuck._

"_LET ME GO!" he screamed in anguish, trying to get out of his mind. "LET ME GO!" He didn't know who he was fighting. He just needed to get out of his mind._

_Why?_

_He took a shuddering breath, clapping his hands to his ears._

_Why?_

"_Don't… don't do this," Harry sobbed._

_Why?_

_It was happening all over again. He was being buried in his mind. He was being shut away._

_Why?_

"_It's too hard," Harry cried. "I can't do this."_

"_It's okay, honey…"_

_Harry opened his eyes._

"_Mum," he gasped in relief, falling into Lily's arms._

"_What's wrong, Harry?" she asked._

"_I don't know. I don't understand. I don't understand anything."_

_She hugged Harry warmly as he grappled onto her. "I love you... It's okay. I'll be here for you," she said._

"_What's wrong with me?" Harry asked, terrified._

"_Nothing's wrong with you," Lily said, trying to calm Harry._

"_Then why am I here?" he asked, unable to stop his tears._

"_What do you want, Harry?" James asked, kneeling beside his wife and son._

"_Nothing. I don't want anything," Harry said helplessly. "I don't– I don't want anything…"_

"_Hmm…"_

_They were gone._

"_No," Harry breathed, reaching forward and grabbing nothing. Everything was dark. Pitch black. He couldn't see. "Please…"_

_Harry brushed away his tears, angry at everything – himself, his mind and the world. Why did this keep happening? Was he this weak? He just wanted to… he just wanted to… do what? He didn't know. He didn't know what he wanted to do._

_He blinked._

_He was in Hogsmeade. It was so white. Snow. He scooped it in his hands, smiling faintly. He liked snow. It was never this nice in real life, was it?_

"_You could stay," Fred murmured._

"_I could," Harry answered._

"_Why don't you?"_

_Harry shrugged. "There's… things I have to do," he said, not really sure himself._

"_Such as?" Fred asked, lobbing a snowball at Harry._

_Harry smiled, brushing the water off his hair. "Such as… Ron and Hermione."_

"_Mhm…"_

"_Teddy and Andromeda."_

"_Mhm…"_

_Harry traced shapes in the snow with the toe of his shoe. "Draco," he murmured inaudibly._

"_That does seem to be the problem, doesn't it?" Fred asked, tapping his chin theatrically._

"_Malfoy's the problem?" Harry asked sullenly._

"_I don't know," Fred shrugged. "Is he?"_

_Harry shrugged as well. "I don't understand him," he said._

"_So?"_

"_So… nothing," Harry muttered, catching a snowflake in his gloved palm. "I like it here, Fred."_

"_I rather like it too," Fred laughed._

"_No one to answer to…"_

"_No rules…"_

"_No publicity…"_

"_No people…"_

_They blinked at each other. "Okay…" Harry murmured. "So maybe it sucks."_

"_It does, doesn't it?" Fred asked. "I wish George were here."_

"_You'd have so much fun if George were here," Harry sympathized._

"_Instead," Fred sighed, "I have George's ear…" He held out his hand that, indeed, held George's ear. "Hardly the same thing."_

_Take your time._

_Harry blinked, frowning. "Did you say something?" he asked Ginny. She didn't say anything, frowning and looking thoroughly miffed. "What?" he asked, moving to sit beside her on the beach. The sun was setting. Orange. _"_I hate orange," he grumbled, glaring at the sky._

"_Shut up, Harry," Ginny said tiredly._

"_What? I'm just saying."_

"_You never listen to what I have to say."_

_Harry watched as Ginny grabbed a fistful of sand. It trickled out of the spaces between her fingers. Time slipping away. "I don't?" he asked, feeling hurt._

"_No…"_

_He looked out into the sea, watching the sunset. "Do you like orange, Ginny?" he asked._

"_It's my favorite," she whispered._

"_I'm sorry," Harry murmured, pulling Ginny into a hug. "I'm so sorry for leaving you."_

_She tightened her grip around Harry. "You aren't," she said dejectedly. "You aren't sorry…"_

"_I am!" Harry argued, never letting go of Ginny. "You– you're perfect, Ginny…"_

"_Hmm."_

"_You're perfect for me," Harry emphasized._

"_And then you left me," Ginny murmured._

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_So, I left you," she continued. Harry stiffened in response. "I left you, Harry. Remember?" she asked. He pulled his arms away from her. She blinked at him. "I left you. You dragged me down. So I left."_

_Harry flinched, feeling more alone than ever now. "Oh," was all he could manage._

"_You don't understand," Ginny said, placing her hands against Harry's cheek gently so he would look at her. "I left you."_

_He couldn't help but look into the calm brown eyes. She left him. For another man. He was–_

_The brown faded to grey. The calm shifted to purpose._

_Kiss me._

_Harry blinked, returning to the brown. Ginny shook her head, getting up. "You really are hopeless, Harry," she said, brushing the sand off of her skirt. "Take a flight."_

_He was on the Quidditch field. He mounted his Firebolt and took off into the cloudless sky. The wind rushed through his hair, exhilarating and fresh. He laughed in delight, preparing for a nosedive to the ground. At that moment, the Snitch flew past Harry. He couldn't pass up the chance. He took off after it, heart pumping and fingers tingling. He weaved smoothly, taking quick cuts as he mirrored the golden ball with wings. He pushed his broom faster and faster until it was trembling. He stretched out his arm, leaning into the reach. With one last push, he nearly tumbled over his Firebolt as he lunged and grabbed the Snitch from midair. He laughed triumphantly, clutching his prize in his fist._

_You'll miss that, won't you?_

_Harry paused and straightened up, looking around._

"_You know something, Potter? There are days when I just want to strangle you and get it over with," Draco drawled._

_Harry had his wand out and a scowl on his face. "Not if I have anything to say about it," he spat out._

_Draco rolled his eyes. "Sarcasm's lost on you," he muttered, walking away._

_Harry frowned in confusion. Then he realized who he was talking to. Draco. "W– wait," he stammered, running after the pale Slytherin._

"_What?" Draco snapped, turning around._

_Harry didn't know what as he jerked to a halt. "Um… h– hi," he said uncertainly._

"_Touched in the head, are we, Potter?" Draco taunted._

"_You… already know that," Harry said._

_Draco smirked. "Suppose I did. What do you want?" he asked._

_A kiss. "A kiss," Harry said without thought._

_Draco's eyes went wide. "Go fuck yourself," he said, snickering. "Ask Weasel. I, for one, am not interested."_

"_You are interested!" Harry exclaimed before Draco could walk towards his common room._

"_I assure you, I'm not."_

"_You love me," Harry argued._

"_And you have me mistaken for someone else," Draco murmured. "Goodbye."_

_Harry bit his lip in frustration, watching Draco disappear into the dark maze. "Mistaken?" he echoed, dropping his gaze to the ground. He was barefoot. "Hmm…"_

_He looked up and found himself in bed. With… "Ron?"_

"_You wanted a kiss?" Ron asked, arching a brow._

_Harry gagged and kicked at his best friend. "Get out!"_

_Ron cackled, shaking his head. "Really, Harry… Sometimes I wonder," he sighed, hands behind his head and legs crossed as he stared up at the canopy._

"_What?" Harry asked scathingly._

_Ron shrugged. "You do realize that this isn't real, don't you?" he asked._

_Harry blinked at the redhead. "Huh?" he asked._

"_You know none of this is real, right?" Ron asked again._

"_I– y– yeah, I know that," Harry said. "Why are you asking?"_

_Ron now turned on his side, resting his elbow on the pillow and propping his head up with his hand. "Why aren't you trying to get out?" he asked._

_Harry shook his head. "I don't really know how," he said carefully._

"_How'd you get out last time?" Ron asked._

"_I don't know," Harry said, groaning in dismay as he closed his eyes in frustration. "I don't remember."_

"_Couldn't possibly have had anything to do with me, could it?" Draco whispered._

_Harry whipped his head to the side. Empty. "God damn it!" he swore._

_Harry scowled at the empty side and turned around. Nearly ending up on top of Draco. "You're that eager?" Draco asked, laughing._

"_What?" Harry breathed as Draco wrapped him in a hug._

"_Harry," Draco murmured, tangling his fingers into Harry's hair and tugging. His lips were against Harry's an instant later. "I love you."_

_It didn't feel right. Harry wrenched away from Draco and wiped his mouth. "You…"_

_Draco latched onto Harry's shirt, pulling him close again. "Me…"_

_Harry slapped Draco's hand away. "You aren't Malfoy," he said, feeling sick. "You… you aren't…"_

_Draco smiled, blinking at Harry. "I guess I'm not," he said sadly._

"_Oh…"_

_Draco placed his hand on Harry's cheek. "He's not in here, Harry," he said._

"_He's out there," Harry finished._

"_He is."_

_Harry squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm always going to be like this, Draco. Broken. You can't fix me every time this happens," he said, hugging himself._

"_I like fixing you, Harry…"_

"_I could hurt you again," Harry said thickly._

"_I could hurt you right on back."_

_Harry smiled miserably. "You could."_

_Draco kissed Harry's forehead. "I love you."_

"_I know…"_

"_I won't leave."_

_Harry felt tears prick his eyes. "I know."_

_Draco grinned slyly. "Tell me, Harry… what do you want?"_

_What do you want?_

_Not 'nothing'… He wanted something._

_Harry breathed in deeply. "Draco…"_

_A strangled moan fell out of Harry as he collapsed onto cold stone. He gasped, lurching and sitting up. Malfoy Manor. He looked up at the double doors before him. Malfoy. He shot up to his feet, staggering as he did so. He pounded on the door._

* * *

Draco jolted awake as the charms were set off. He swore tiredly, flicking his wand to stop the alarms from waking up his mother. He got out of bed and stumbled through the dark mansion, trying to get to the door without any major spills. He was yawning as he opened the door, his jaw widening even further when he was met with Harry. "What the hell?" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"You," Harry said, pushing a finger against Draco's chest.

Draco was nearly speechless now. "Y– you– you– you're… Are you _drunk_, Potter?" he asked in horror. "You can't be here!"

"I can be _wherever_ I want to be," Harry said with authority as his eyes slid in and out of focus.

"Go home," Draco insisted. "And don't Apparate."

"I'm not finished with you," Harry slurred. "You… I hate you, you know?"

"Fine, whatever," Draco murmured as his thoughts raced. How on Earth had Harry managed to get past the security? "Wait here, okay?"

"No," Harry snapped. "You can't– you can't or– order me around anymore, Malfoy," he said, folding his arms against his chest. "I'll order _you_ around. _You_ wait here."

"Quiet," Draco said emphatically. "Mother's sleeping."

Harry's brows went up. "Oh," he whispered. "Shh." He pressed a finger to his lips.

"Right. Shh," Draco mumbled. "How did you get in?" he asked. He needed to find a way to get him _out_. Harry shrugged in response. Draco tsked in frustration. "How did you get in, Potter?" he asked again.

"I don't know," Harry said, sighing. "Can I kiss you?"

Draco tripped over his feet as he moved back, away from Harry. "No, what? What? Why would you even… what?"

Harry pouted, scuffing his shoe on landing. "You let me kiss you before," he complained.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked out of worry.

"I'm having the weirdest dream," Harry responded. "Like, you won't believe how weird it is…"

Realization struck. Harry was sleepwalking. Draco pulled Harry into the foyer and shut the door. "Harry," he murmured, touching Harry's shoulder hesitantly.

"Hmm," Harry murmured, resting his head against Draco's chest. "Draco."

"You're dreaming," Draco whispered, winding his arms around Harry.

Harry nodded. "I know," he answered.

Draco frowned in confusion. "You do?" he asked.

Harry fiddled with Draco's shirt. "Mhm," he mumbled. "That's okay. It's always a dream."

Draco shook his head and said, "No, Harry. _This_ is not a dream. But you– you're dreaming," he tried to explain.

"I don't really hate you, Draco," Harry said. "I really do like you. But not when you're punching me. Or mad at me."

Draco tried to extract himself from Harry's hug, which proved to be near impossible. "Harry."

"You're supposed to call me Potter," Harry quipped. "But I'll call you Draco…"

"Please, wake up," Draco said desperately.

Harry lifted his head to look at Draco. "I love you," he whispered, blushing. "And I don't even know why."

Draco's chest squeezed hopefully. Then his mind took over. Harry was drunk and asleep. The things he said weren't the most coherent. Draco knew that some part of Harry thought the love to be true. But, as Harry said himself, the reason for why was… unclear. Draco pushed Harry away from him. "You need to sleep this off," he said, trying to keep Harry's attention.

Harry nodded solemnly. "Sleep is good," he mumbled.

Draco sighed, glancing up at the stairs. "Let's go," he said tiredly, tugging Harry along. The two stumbled up the stairs, Draco trying to keep Harry steady and Harry trying to hold Draco's hand.

"Draco," Harry complained after another unsuccessful lunge. Draco rolled his eyes and pulled Harry into the guest bedroom beside the stairs. He shoved Harry into the bed and dragged the covers up. Harry murmured in contentment, curling up and grabbing Draco's hand. "Hah!" he said cheekily. "I got you."

Draco couldn't help but smile at Harry's mischievous smirk. "You do," he said patiently, wrenching his hand away from Harry's grip. "And now you sleep."

"Wait," Harry said, stopping Draco before he could leave.

"What now?" Draco asked out of frustration.

Harry's smile slipped away and he dropped his gaze to the sheets. "Nothing," he said quickly.

"What, Potter?" Draco asked again.

"Nothing," Harry repeated, closing his eyes.

"Harry."

Harry shook his head.

Draco threw his hands up in defeat before walking out of the room. "Sleep," he said before he shut the door.

Harry opened his eyes when he heard the click on the door. He picked at the pillow as his mind faltered. Too much. Too many things were happening. And all he wanted to do was sleep. But he _was_ sleeping, wasn't he? Why was he feeling so dizzy then? He sat up and threw the blanket off of him. He was so restless. He needed to wake up. He shuffled to the door in the dark. He felt for his wand. He didn't have it on him. He frowned in self-reproach before fumbling for the door handle and opening it.

Draco was leaning against the wall facing the door, arms crossed against his chest, as he contemplated the situation. His brows rose when the door opened hesitantly. Draco saw a shock of black hair, then a pair of green eyes peeking out. When their gazes met, the door fell shut.

Harry winced when he realized the Draco was outside.

Draco was smiling in astonishment. He approached the door slowly.

Harry figured that if he thought hard enough, Draco would just disappear. He bunched his face into an expression of intense concentration and tried to will Draco away. Then he opened the door.

Draco saw a quicker flash of Harry this time.

Harry cursed his luck as he closed the door again. He wished he had his wand. Then all he would have to do is disarm Draco and… then what? Where was he supposed to go? He had already been everywhere he needed to be. He harrumphed, racking his brains to find a more suitable place to sleep. Home. Home would be a nice place to sleep. That's what he'd do. He opened the door wider.

Draco jerked Harry forward, fingers tangling into raven hair and the other hand pressing against Harry's back. Harry's head snapped back as his hair was tugged. Demanding lips pressed against his mouth.

Harry woke up.

He gasped and swayed. He pressed against Draco, hands skimming against his chest before landing against the tousled hair and stubbled cheek. Harry opened his eyes. Malfoy.

Draco was pushed back violently. He staggered away, winded. Harry had his hands pressed against his eyes, trying to ward off the pounding headache. Draco rushed to him, holding him steady. "Harry?" he murmured shakily.

"What are you doing?"

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry, even as the latter struggled fiercely. "You're at my house, okay?" he explained.

"What?" Harry croaked.

"I think you were… sleepwalking?"

Harry froze. "What?" he exhaled.

"Sleepwalking…"

Harry dropped his hands from his eyes, his terrified heart nearly beating out of his chest. He couldn't remember. "You kissed me," he whispered hurriedly. "Why would you do that?"

Draco flinched. "I– I just… you– you were…"

Harry started struggling again, pushing against Draco's firm grip. "Let go," Harry said weakly.

"Please, you need to–"

"You don't. You can't. You don't," Harry said angrily. "So just let me go. I want to go home."

"I'm sorry for hitting you."

"I'm not sorry," Harry growled, trying to shoulder Draco.

"But I am…"

In a flurry of movement, Harry rammed into Draco and knocked him back. Draco hit the bed and toppled over. Before he could put his arms up to defend himself, Harry was upon him. Hands pushed his shoulders to the mattress and a forceful kiss pressed into his lips. Harry breathed out loudly, groaning. Draco's eyes fell shut at this. Harry's kiss. It felt so different. It used to be tentative and innocent. But this… Draco's stomach tightened painfully. He heaved up and rolled over, clashing teeth with Harry. He pressed Harry into the bed. This was amazing.

Harry clawed at Draco's shirt, pulling him close. Draco tilted his head, kissing Harry possessively. He wasn't going to let anyone else have this man. Harry melted under Draco's tongue. Hands raced down Draco's back and kneaded his arse through the thin pajamas. Draco nearly broke away from Harry as shock caused him to still. Harry shook his head stubbornly, using his free hand to grab the back of Draco's neck so their lips were mashed together again. Their breaths ran together, harsh and competing. Draco reached down and tugged Harry's shirt up. Harry responded by sliding his fingers under the elastic of Draco's pajamas and boxers. Draco dropped his hands to tug at Harry's trousers, undoing the belt and zipper. Harry arched up, pushing the clothes off.

Draco gripped Harry's arousal without warning or embarrassment. Harry brought his hand to his mouth, stifling his aggressive snarls. He pumped into Draco's fist. Draco was on his knees, staring down at Harry's flushed cheeks and glistening skin that was slick with sweat. "Stop, stop, stop," Harry gasped, grabbing Draco's wrist. Draco bent down and bit Harry's neck. Harry cried out, letting go of Draco's hand.

Draco felt Harry's erection pulsing and heating in his palm. "Harry," he whispered. Harry let out a choked murmur, lips parted and eyes fluttering open and shut. Draco pumped Harry, turning his fist around Harry's cock so he could hear the delicious moans over and over again. He brought his mouth to Harry's ear. "You look amazing right now," he whispered.

Harry grabbed Draco's shirt and whipped him around. Draco fell on the mattress again. He couldn't keep up with Harry. This was the Potter he knew six years ago – unyielding, strong, and assertive. Harry shoved down Draco's pajamas. Even through the boxers, Draco could feel Harry's rutting as though skin on skin. He dug his fingers into the covers, moving his hips up to meet Harry. They drove into each other as their tongues tangled. "Draco, Draco, Draco, I– I'm– shit…" Harry panted, whimpering. Draco pressed his hand against Harry's erection, stopping him. Harry dropped his head against the crook of Draco's neck, dragging in air as his lungs burned. "Oh, fuck," he said, his voice trembling. "Why are you still wearing a shirt?"

Draco laughed and sat up, bringing Harry up with him. Harry wrapped his legs around Draco's waist as Draco took off his shirt. "Better?" Draco asked, brushing his thumb against Harry's cheek.

Harry leaned in, kissing Draco softly. "What are we doing?" he asked.

Draco didn't know. He pressed his forehead against Harry's. "Hmm…"

Harry snaked his hand against Draco's boxers again. Draco groaned, "Potter…"

"What?"

"What are _you_ doing?" he asked.

Harry kissed Draco along the neck as he massaged the half-hard cock. "I don't know," he whispered. "I don't know. I've never…"

Draco blinked over Harry's shoulder. He moved his hand to Harry's chest. He felt the shuddering heart running faster than ever. "Harry?"

"I want you."

"Want me how?" Draco asked.

Harry squirmed. Even if his judgment was impaired with alcohol, he couldn't bring himself to talk that way. "I mean, I– I _want_ you. I– I just… now?"

"Oh, shut up," Draco interrupted, falling onto the bed with Harry. Their lips found each other, hot and hard. Draco struggled out of his boxers, too constrained. He flicked it off his feet and slid his leg between Harry's, parting them. Harry let out a surprised gasp, letting go of Draco. Kisses scattered down his torso, nearing his aching arousal. He latched onto Draco's hair, torn between guiding him and stopping him. "When you said you've never," Draco breathed, after a tantalizing lick of Harry's cock, "did you mean… _never_?"

"Draco," Harry moaned, the question reaching deaf ears.

Draco smirked as he kissed Harry's thighs. Harry moved his legs unconsciously, bending them at the knee. Draco swirled his tongue along the tip of the leaking cock. Harry bucked as his oversensitive body shot a pang of electric pain through his spine. He held in a choked cry. Draco pursed his lips and gently sucked on the tip, savoring Harry's shudders and loss of control. He slowly worked his way down, his spit running down the hot erection. Harry could feel it. He could feel too much. Why would Draco do this? He suddenly realized that his fingers were still entwined in Draco's hair. He pulled his hands up sharply. Draco jerked away from Harry, wincing. "What?" he asked, trying to get Harry to loosen his grip.

"Isn't that… gross?" Harry asked, taking pity on Draco's tortured expression and letting go of the locks of golden hair.

Draco's eyes narrowed. "A blow job?" he asked.

Harry balked. "Don't– don't say it like _that_," he said, his voice hushed.

"You're such a prude!" Draco exclaimed, laughing. He wrapped his fingers around Harry's wrists and fastened them to the bed. "Yeah, it's gross." His mouth descended on Harry again, none too gently. Harry bit his lip and thrust up. Draco gagged as the uncontrolled movement choked him. Harry whimpered as he shook his head. Draco breathed out as he made a tight seal around most of Harry's cock.

"Please," Harry begged.

Now Draco shook his head, pumping his head up and down. Harry felt everything inside him constricting. He thrust up to meet Draco's motion. Draco gagged and coughed. He used his elbows to keep Harry pressed against the bed by the hips. Harry snarled in frustration. Draco swallowed hard, salivating constantly. Harry was driven near insanity from the fleshy wetness that surrounded him. He wanted more. He needed more.

"F– f– fuck me."

Draco stilled as he heard the stammered words fall out of Harry's mouth. He picked his head up, mindful of the spit stringing from Harry's near-painful erection to his lips. He wiped it away with the back of his hand. "Um… what?" he asked uncertainly.

Harry felt a cold draft brushing against him and he arched up, looking for warmth and steady pressure. "Please, just– fuck me," he pleaded.

Draco blinked at Harry for a second before snorting in amusement. He let go of Harry's wrists, dragging his fingers towards the trim stomach. Harry opened his eyes at this. Draco saw the insecurity and terror in them, which only made him laugh harder. To see this in Potter was new. To see submission in Potter's eyes was exhilarating. He kept a hand pressed on Harry's chest as he leaned to the end of the bed to sift through his clothes, chuckling.

Harry couldn't move. Not with the humiliation coursing through him. Not with Draco laughing at him. Why had he said that? Why the fuck had he said that? He felt the crash of emotions taking a toll on him as his eyes pricked. He turned his head to the side, willing himself not to cry. Definitely not in front of Malfoy.

Tickling breath hit his neck, causing him to flinch. He tried to move away but Draco's weight held him steady. He felt nauseated, his hands shaking as he balled them into fists.

"Let's leave that for later."

Harry whipped his head towards Draco, mouth agape and eyes wide. "Wh– wh– what?" he asked.

"You don't really want me to do that, do you?" Draco asked, touching the wand to his hand and slicking it with lubricant. He wrapped his cold fingers against Harry's agonizing hard-on. Harry's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he let out a loud incoherent garble, words stuck in his throat. Draco drew his hand up until he reached the tip. The he slid his hand down smoothly, caressing Harry. "So, let's leave that for later, okay?"

"I need…"

"What?" Draco asked.

"I don't know. I don't know," Harry whispered heavily, shaking his head. "Just… I need to…"

"Harry," Draco interrupted, quickening his pace. Harry was jerking back and forth with Draco, trying to keep from babbling nonsense. "Harry, look at me."

Harry opened his eyes, staring at Draco. Draco's slight smile and striking grey eyes were all Harry looked up. "Huh," he breathed, moving closer to finishing. "Ah… D– D– Dra– Draco," he panted.

"We have all the time in the world," Draco murmured, kissing Harry. "And you can take all the time in the world."

Harry stiffened, spilling into Draco's hand and stomach. He reached up and latched onto Draco's shoulders, pumping into the fist that wrapped around his shooting arousal. "Please, please, Draco… Oh, fuck! Please, just–"

"What, Harry?" Draco asked, taken aback by Harry's loss of control. Legs wrapped around his waist and he dragged Draco down, rutting against him. "You aren't saying anything," Draco said, hoping to cut through the thick haze Harry was in.

Harry tried to keep his angered growl of frustration away from Draco. He didn't know what. He didn't know what he wanted. He thought _this_ was what he wanted. His sex-starved brain was telling him that he was in heaven. Everything inside him was heating up to the point of near agony. Not like this. He didn't want to do this.

"I love you…" Draco whispered adoringly.

Harry fell limp, finally able to breathe again.

Draco smiled, tracing Harry's parted lips with his finger. "Is that all you wanted to hear?" he asked. "I thought you knew…"

Harry pulled Draco into a desperate hug. "Draco," he choked out.

Draco shook his head and broke out of Harry's arms, trying to untangle the blankets. Once he figured out the sheets, he pulled it over them and settled down next to Harry. "If I'd known it would only take some alcohol, I–" he broke off when he found himself facing a rather teary Harry. "Um…"

Harry hid his face against Draco's chest, unable to stop the tears.

Draco wrapped uncertain arms around Harry, blinking at the wall. Then he looked down at Harry, who was trembling with each sob. "Whoa," he exclaimed, pushing Harry away. "Why the hell are you crying?" he asked.

Harry didn't answer, covering his tears with his hands.

"Oh, Harry," Draco laughed, tugging the slight man close again. "Why the fuck would you cry?" he asked, running soothing hands over Harry's back. "It wasn't _that_ bad, was it?"

"Shut up," Harry hiccupped.

Draco bunched Harry into a tight bundle, pressing soft kisses against the sweaty hair. "You're so confusing," Draco grinned. "Don't cry, okay?"

"I'm not five," Harry sobbed. "Stop laughing at me."

Try as he might, Draco couldn't stop. So he just clenched his jaw, shaking with mirth instead of voicing it. "I want to keep you forever," he murmured.

"Even if I don't love you?" Harry asked, squeezing his eyes shut so hard that his head hurt. He expected Draco to push him away.

Instead, Draco laughed. Again. "Even if you don't love me," Draco smiled. "I'll just have to make you love me, won't I?"

Harry couldn't handle all these emotions. It was too overwhelming. Sleep was his only other option. His tears still flowed, but he wasn't shuddering as violently now. "I do love you, Draco," he murmured, as though it was a secret Draco had to guard with his life. "You're so good to me…" He dropped into his dreams, safe in Draco's arms.

Draco sighed in content, winding his fingers with Harry's. "I love you," he said, closing his eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Huge hugs to InsaneOrange for being so damned supportive and loving everything I write! You're such a sweetheart!

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Harry woke up before he opened his eyes. He lay in the heat, feeling sweat slick his chest. He pushed the covers down to his waist, whining drowsily. The cold air refreshed him and he moved about, trying to find a cold spot. He rolled over.

And ended up on the floor.

Naked.

"What the fuck?" he swore, wide awake as he shot up on his feet. He roved his eyes over Draco who was taking up more than half the bed. A corner of the blanket strategically covered the pale man, but that didn't stop Harry from blushing furiously. Then Draco stirred, Harry's voice having woken him up. Harry jumped back into bed, dragging the blanket up to hide himself. Which left Draco without it. "Gah!" Harry yelped when he saw _all_ of Draco. He ducked under the blanket and covered his eyes with his hands as an added precaution.

"Hmm?" Draco mumbled, trying to pull the sheets towards himself again while rolling away from Harry. Harry held tight. Draco tugged harder. Harry didn't let go. "It's cold," Draco grumbled groggily, scooting towards Harry. Harry pushed him away with his feet. Draco finally opened his eyes, yawning. All he saw was a figure hidden under the blankets and two feet pressed against his thigh. "Harry," Draco groaned. "Give me the blanket."

"Where are my clothes?" Harry asked in horror.

"I don't know," Draco said absently, sitting up and wrenching the sheets out of Harry's fists. Fists that were pressed against Harry's eyes. "What are you doing?" Draco laughed.

"You're naked!"

Draco draped the blanket over his lower half. "Not anymore," he offered, pulling Harry's hands down. Harry opened his eyes hesitantly. Draco noticed. "So," Draco murmured. "Last night was… a mistake?" he asked.

"Huh? Last night?" Harry asked.

Draco blinked at Harry, appearing troubled. "You don't even remember?" he asked quietly.

"Hard to forget," Harry muttered, his eyes dropping to Draco's chest and trailing down to the taut stomach. He shook himself out of his thoughts.

"Huh?" Draco asked, looking down to see what Harry was staring at.

Harry cleared his throat. "Nothing. I have to go," he said.

"Go where?"

"Home."

"Why?"

Harry frowned at Draco. "I live there," he answered glibly. He tried to crawl to the end of the bed while covering himself with the white sheet.

Draco wrapped an arm around Harry's waist and pulled him back towards the pillow. "Or… you could stay here?"

Harry rolled his eyes, pushing Draco's hands away. "Or I could go home," he retorted.

"Or you could stay here," Draco whispered, running his lips over Harry's ear. Harry's eyes fell shut as he shivered against Draco's breath. Draco dragged his hands over Harry, nearly swooning from the touch. "Guess what?" he asked.

"What?" Harry mumbled.

"You asked me to fuck you yesterday."

Harry froze, his mind running full force as he tried to place Draco's words into appropriate slots. "I _what_?" he asked, taken aback

"You don't remember _that_, do you?" Draco asked cheekily. "In fact," he added, playing nonchalant, "you _begged_ me to take you, Potter."

"Y–you–you're–you're lying, right?"

"Hmm…"

"Fuck you," Harry said vehemently, pushing away from Draco and struggling out of bed, not caring about his unclothed body. He was going to grab his clothes and get out. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was Malfoy. He found their clothes on the floor and he sifted through them for his boxers.

"I didn't, you know…"

"You didn't what?" Harry snapped, stepping in his underwear and tugging it on as he toed through the heap for the rest of his clothes.

"Fuck you," Draco said, rolling onto his side and resting his head on his arm. "I didn't fuck you."

"Yeah, I noticed," Harry said sarcastically.

"So…"

"What, Malfoy?" Harry asked, breathing out in exhaustion.

"Offer still stands?"

The way Harry fumbled around to find a projectile was amusing to Draco, who was chuckling as he hid under the blankets. A shoe flew at him, striking the sheets and leaving a brown mark. "You can just fuck _yourself_," Harry growled, pulling on his shirt.

Draco counted to five before peeking out again. Harry was stepping into his pants, back turned to Draco. "I had fun… last night," he said, causing Harry to turn his head slightly.

"Glad one of us did," Harry huffed.

Draco swung his legs off of bed, wrapping the blanket around his waist before standing up. "What's wrong?" he asked, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. "I was just teasing."

Harry slapped Draco's hand away. "Where's my wand?" he asked, digging into his pockets.

"Um… I don't know," Draco said, searching the ground.

"Malfoy."

"I don't have it," Draco insisted.

Harry closed his eyes, keeping his anger in check. "How did I get here?" he asked, his voice shaking with exasperation.

"You just… showed up," Draco murmured. "I don't know. I don't even know how you got past the guards."

"Fuck," Harry swore, sitting down heavily. He pressed his hands to his forehead, keeping his head bowed. Last thing he remembered before being in bed with Draco was… drinking with Ron. How on Earth had he gone from Ron to Draco? Where was his wand? "Damn it!"

Draco cupped Harry's chin and forced him to look up. The biting comment at the tip of Harry's tongue was gone when he saw the look of utter disapproval in Draco. "Calm the hell down," he said, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss on Harry's unresponsive lips. "Good morning," he added.

Harry just gave up at that moment. Fuck his façade. Fuck his morality. He wrapped an arm around Draco's waist and pressed a hand against the back of Draco's neck, pulling him back into bed. They fell into the messy sheets. "Morning," Harry murmured throatily, licking the lush lips.

"I like you better _without_ clothes, Potter," Draco whispered back, smiling.

"I don't want to take them off again," Harry said, crawling on top of Draco and raining kisses against the high cheeks, strong nose and tapered chin. "I can't get enough of you, Malfoy."

Draco chuckled. "You can't stand me," he corrected, trying to steal kisses from Harry's lips whenever it passed his view. Harry's fingers were playing against Draco's chest, caressing and stroking.

"I can't stand you and I want you. Who said life was easy?" Harry snorted. "Can I?" he asked, brushing the back of his hand to Draco's neck.

Draco responded by tilting his head. Harry settled against Draco, gently rolling his tongue over a white patch of skin. Draco sighed, closing his eyes as he let the tension fall off of him. "You're so different from before, Harry," he said, sliding his hand under Harry's shirt and pressing his palm against the small of his back.

"No kidding," Harry muttered. "I couldn't even talk to you. You like me for my body. Admit it."

Draco laughed as he squeezed Harry close. "I like you for… more than that, I think," he explained.

Harry stilled, detaching his lips from Draco's neck that was now turning pink from the attention. He lifted his head to look down at Draco. "Well… way to ruin the mood," he said good-naturedly, smiling as he kissed Draco. "Tell me." He placed his hand against Draco's chest, half-draped over him.

Draco shrugged. "I guess… I mean, I've never… I had never seen you like that, you know? I thought you were broken. First time I saw you at the hospital, you wouldn't even acknowledge me. Just looked at me. You usually make a face when you look at me," he laughed.

"What face?" Harry asked, smirking.

"The I-wish-you'd-just-fuck-off-and-die face. Sometimes you give me the I-will-hex-you-six-ways-to-Sunday look too," Draco said cheekily. Harry laughed with him. "But not that day. That day, it was more of the I-really-don't-care-to-live look, you know? Nothing. Just blank. Bored. I didn't think you could be fixed. I thought it would be pointless."

"Then why did you try?" Harry asked.

"Not like I had a choice. They forced me."

Harry frowned. "They… forced you?" he asked, touching Draco's collarbone curiously.

"Why do you think I snapped at you?" Draco asked, his words dripping with sarcasm. Then he paused. "Wait… what do you remember, Harry?" he asked, looking down at the short raven hair that was tickling his chin.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

"Do you remember me? In the hospital?"

"Oh…" Harry murmured, blushing. "I-um… I don't really remember much. I mean, it's like a-like a dream. A really _long_ dream… You were-er… yeah, I guess I do remember you in them. Again, not sure if I was dreaming or if… it was real."

"What do you remember?" Draco asked.

"I don't know," Harry whispered, closing his eyes.

Draco glanced down at Harry. "Hmm… Don't want to talk about it?" he asked. Harry shook his head. Draco nodded in response. "That's okay," he reassured. "Anyway, they made it part of my parole duties. It was pretty pointless until I got angry with you. That seemed to get you out of your rut."

"Imagine that. All they needed to do was get angry at me," Harry said sarcastically.

"You told me what happened that night at the forest. Then I didn't see you for a few months after that. Didn't think you wanted to see me. You told me I didn't have to visit. So I–"

"You're just going on a personal guilt trip here, Malfoy," Harry said, stopping Draco before he could continue.

Draco sighed despondently. "Yeah, I know," he murmured. "Anyways, when I heard you were worse, I thought I should help again. I mean, you helped Mother, didn't you? So… things happened. And you… I don't know. You just… you got better. You didn't hate me. You didn't try to hit me or anything. You genuinely liked me. And I liked you back," Draco shrugged.

"You _loved_ me back. That's weird."

"Whatever," Draco huffed.

"You love me because I'm nice to you?" Harry asked, picking his head up and looking at Draco.

"I don't know," Draco sighed. "I've just… I've spent so many months with you. You were the only other person I interacted with."

"You like taking care of me, then?" Harry asked.

Draco smiled faintly. "I guess," he murmured.

"I can take care of myself now," Harry noted, pressing a kiss on Draco's lips.

"Obviously not," Draco chuckled. "Seriously, though, where's your wand?"

"Not on me," Harry groaned, dropping his head against Draco's chest.

"So you apparated here wandlessly? You do that often?"

"Never," Harry said. "I should let Ron know where I am."

"Why? So he can kill me that much sooner?" Draco asked.

"Yes."

They smiled as they buried themselves under the covers. Draco drew patterns on Harry's back, occasionally dipping under the shirt to touch the warm skin. Harry kept his hands to himself, blinking at Draco's smooth chest. "This could work," he said, reassuring himself.

"Sure it could," Draco nodded.

"You love me. No big deal," Harry murmured.

"You love me too, remember?"

"I don't really remember, but sure…" Harry said. "I slept well."

"See?" Draco said, nuzzling Harry. "You should be with me. Besides, what makes you think I want to fuck you?"

"Oh, shut up," Harry groused, blushing. Then he blinked at the question. "Wait, what?" he asked.

"Nothing," Draco said with nonchalance, rolling away from Harry. "I'm going to go firecall–"

"What did you say?" Harry asked, sitting up.

"I'm going to firecall Weasley," Draco said, pulling on his pajamas and foregoing the shirt since he was sweating from the warmth. He padded out of the room.

Harry was left gaping. Then he snapped to his senses, stumbling out of bed. He ran after Draco, jerking his shirt straight. "Wait!" he said, catching a glimpse of Draco disappearing down the stairs. "Wait, you prick!"

"Don't call me names," Draco said without the usual bite, smiling as he heard Harry tripping down the steps. "And please don't fall to your death."

"What did you mean?" Harry asked, trying to stop Draco.

Draco pulled Harry down to the drawing room with him. "Like you said, I should let your precious friends know where you are," he said.

"You _don't_ want to… have…" Harry paused. Then he tried again. "I mean, I thought you wanted to… or-you-um… You _don't_ want to have… sex?"

Draco was kneeling in front of the fireplace by the time Harry had finished his sentence. Harry couldn't see the positively wicked look on Draco's face when the soft 'sex' was finally uttered. "How many personalities do you have, Potter?" he asked, snickering. He flicked his wand at the fireplace and started the fire going.

"I don't get you," Harry whined, kneeling beside Draco and trying to force him to pay attention.

Draco gave in, kissing Harry firmly. "I asked, what made you think I would want to fuck you," he said as he looked Harry in the eye.

Harry blinked at Draco, trying not to seem put out. Draco arched his brows. Harry started to frown, confused. Draco narrowed his eyes as he wondered how dense Harry really was. "Oh!" Harry exclaimed, clapping his hand to his mouth. "Damn it, Malfoy!"

"What?" Draco jibed. "I'm just saying." Before Harry could scowl murderously, Draco popped his head into the fire.

Harry couldn't hear anything but muffled sounds. He waited impatiently for Draco to finish, picking at the rug they were sitting on. Draco's blatant hint that Harry should top was slightly unnerving. Harry shuddered. Why on Earth would he be thinking about that? He wasn't going to sleep with Draco until he was well and ready. He let out a low growl of frustration. In fact, he wasn't _ever_ going to sleep with Draco. That would solve _everything_.

Draco pulled out of the dancing green flames, shaking the soot out of his hair. "Okay. All taken care of. You left your wand at their place, apparently. I have no-mph!"

Harry had tackled Draco to the ground, kissing him desperately. Harry's hungry hands found purchase against the naked torso beneath him. Draco nearly bucked Harry off as his skin prickled uncomfortably. Harry pressed to the rough carpet, years of pent-up sexual aggression bursting out of him. It was only when Draco felt fingers sliding under the elastic of his pajamas that he put a stop to things. He shoved Harry off, holding him away.

"Yup," Draco said heavily, licking his lips. "That's enough for today." He got up unsteadily, staggering about as he tried to make his way out of the drawing room.

Harry lurched to his feet and closed the distance in two strides, wrapping one arm around Draco's waist and the other against his chest, pulling him flush. Draco could feel Harry's heart against his back and lips on his neck, slowly melting him. "Yum," Harry murmured, smiling.

Draco nearly fell to his knees as his stomach churned from anticipation. "Harry," he whispered, closing his eyes and leaning for support.

"If you keep _that_ up, I'll have no choice but to ravish you right here and now…"

Draco shook his head breathlessly, shuddering when Harry's fingers started caressing him with excessive possessiveness. "You-you aren't… you aren't supposed to know how to do this," he said, his voice husky with tremors and desire.

"I read," Harry said without fanfare.

Draco laughed silently. "Give me your reading material, then," he said, slipping his fingers between Harry's.

"You were always perfect, Malfoy. How?"

Draco was mortified to find a blush creep up on his cheeks. Harry was gently swaying him, dancing to a silent song. "You, of all people, know I'm far from perfect," he said, too wrapped up in Harry's warmth to care how he sounded at that point.

"You are so beautiful," Harry breathed, kissing Draco's shoulder.

"Stop," Draco smiled abashedly.

Harry smiled with him, closing his eyes. He rested his cheek against Draco's shoulder blade. He hummed in contentment, sighing. "You've changed so much," he said. "Much… nicer." He tugged Draco onto the couch.

Draco finally looked up at Harry, uncertainty brewing in him. Harry was sitting cross-legged on the couch and pulling Draco onto his lap. Draco complied with ample hesitance, tucking his legs and wrapping an arm around Harry's neck. They shifted against each other, getting comfortable. Harry buried his face against Draco's neck and hugged him close. Draco pressed a kiss against Harry's hair. "Are you alright? You're acting… weird," he said, trying to get Harry to look at him.

Harry shrugged, keeping his face hidden away. "I don't know. _Everything_ about this is weird," he murmured. "I'm just…"

Draco waited for Harry to finish, but didn't hear the end of that sentence. "You're just what?" he asked.

Harry mumbled, "Confused…"

"Okay," Draco said slowly. "Confused about what?"

Harry tightened his grip on Draco. "I-I don't really… know how to act. Around you," he said.

"Oh?"

"I mean, I've spent most my life hating you. Wanting you to die a painful death and all," Harry smiled vaguely. "And now, I'm just supposed to… sleep with you?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "So what you did just now was…"

Harry fidgeted under Draco, grimacing. "I was just… trying something out. Was it strange? I won't–" he gulped loudly, "I won't do it again."

Draco pursed his lips, wondering what Harry was talking about. "I… liked it," he said honestly. "So, you can do it again. Whenever you want. Just-what-what did you mean by you're _supposed_ to sleep with me?"

Harry bit his lip as he thought his words through. He didn't want to offend Draco. He also didn't want to freak Draco out. But, at that moment, it seemed like Draco was the only one who would understand. He had put up with Harry for months of mental illness. "I don't know how to explain it," Harry said. "Sometimes, it's like… I'm not really here."

"What do you mean?" Draco asked.

"Like, I'm _not_ in my head, you know? Like, I don't know what I'm supposed to say or do or act," Harry muttered. "And it's… I don't like that."

"And what do you do when that happens?"

"I pretend. I… I act like I know what's going on," Harry confessed tiredly. "I don't know how else to do it." And now that he had started, he didn't want to finish. "I can't sleep because I-I'm scared I'll do something to myself. The Dreamless potions won't help. It's like I-I can't have a normal relationship anymore. I'm so scared all the time. And I try-" his voice broke, his head aching as tears pricked his eyes. He exhaled carefully, trying not to cry. "I try to be-I try to pull it all together. But some days I just-I can't. I'm so scared," he sobbed, breaking down.

Draco was speechless, partly because of the terror he was feeling and partly because Harry was so sad. No man should be this sad. Draco hugged Harry helplessly, trying to calm him down. "Shh, it's okay. It's okay," he said.

"I'm so-I'm so glad for you, Draco," Harry said breathlessly, pulling away from Draco's neck.

Draco groaned in sympathy, wishing he could do more than hug Harry. "I'll help you. I'll help you, okay? We'll figure it out," he said out of desperation. "I love you. So… so you don't have to be scared anymore."

"I know," Harry whispered hoarsely, nodding.

Draco kissed Harry's wet cheeks, tasting the salt from the tears. "And you can pretend to be anything you want with me, okay? We'll test it out and see," Draco continued. "You can be sad or happy or angry or…" he wiggled his brows, "seductive. Be whatever you want."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Draco said eagerly. "If there's anyone who can handle you, it's me. Obviously."

Harry attempted a miserable smile. "That's true," he said, sniffing.

"And if you feel like you're lost, find _me_," Draco said emphatically, pointing at himself. Harry nodded, tears dripping without haste. "If you feel scared, find _me_."

"I will," Harry promised, hugging Draco. "I love you so much."

Draco's heart soared as he heard those uninhibited words. "I love you more," he responded.

"I know," Harry chuckled brokenly.

"You're adorable," Draco mumbled, kissing Harry lovingly.

"Thanks," Harry said, swatting Draco over the head.

Draco leaned back, scanning Harry's expression. Harry quickly brushed away his tears, shaking his head to signal Draco into silence. Draco traced his finger against Harry's ear gently, studying the man. He moved hand towards Harry's hair, short and smooth. "Grow your hair out?" he asked. Harry focused on Draco, frowning in confusion. Draco shrugged with a half-smile. "I like you with longer hair," he murmured. "You look… endearing."

Harry laughed, his mood lightening considerably. "Okay," he said, running his hand over his head. "Just for you."

Draco slid his hand down Harry's cheek, cupping the stubbled chin. "Hmm," he murmured, brushing his nose against Harry's. "You do know that my mother is home, don't you?"

Draco was on the floor faster than he could blink. Harry's jaw was wide open and his arms were outstretched, having just pushed a man off of his lap. Draco scowled fiercely, massaging his sore head. Harry was horrified. "Oh, God! I forgot!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands to his mouth and whipping around at the doorway.

"That hurt," Draco muttered, displeased as he got up gingerly.

"I-I should-I should go," Harry stuttered, quickly getting on his feet.

"You aren't going anywhere," Draco said, shaking his head. "Let's have breakfast first." He clasped hands with Harry.

"It's embarrassing, Draco," Harry whispered, trying to stop.

"Whatever," Draco said, not taking no for an answer. "What do you want? Eggs? Toast? I _might_ have some–"

"Draco, please," Harry begged piteously.

"I might have some cereal. Besides, Mother hasn't seen you in forever," Draco added, pushing the door to the kitchen open. He pulled Harry in before letting go. "Don't run away on me," he said. "Coffee?"

Harry had stuffed his hands into his pockets, shuffling on the spot anxiously. "I don't–"

"Coffee?" Draco asked threateningly.

"Um," Harry swallowed. Then he shook his head quickly.

"Harry," Draco glowered.

"I really don't want it," Harry said. "I'm not-I'm not allowed to have it."

"Oh?" Draco asked, making a pot nonetheless. "Because…"

"It's not… I mean, I'm on medication and all," Harry said, kicking the edge of the barstool he was standing beside.

Which brought Draco's attention to the chairs. "Sit," he demanded, motioning to the stool. Harry complied sluggishly, not wanting to do anything Draco told him to do. "So you aren't allowed coffee," Draco noted, "but you're allowed alcohol…" With the way Harry blushed, Draco knew Harry was at fault.

"It's really not my fault," Harry said. "I mean, everyone was-and they were trying to… I-I got into Falmouth Falcons," he finished, smiling sweetly.

"You just changed the subject!" Draco exclaimed, miffed. "Why were you drinking if you weren't supposed to?"

Harry slumped as his ruse failed. "They wanted a treat and I… I thought I'd join them. It was nothing," he mumbled, knowing that was definitely the wrong thing to say. He peeked at Draco under lowered lashes.

Draco was seething with anger, gripping his wand tight. "Do you realize… just _how_ dangerous that is?" he asked, breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry," Harry said, quelled.

"You apparated without a wand!" Draco nearly shouted.

"I'm sorry," Harry murmured.

"What if you got splinched? What then?" Draco asked, near hysteria.

"I won't drink ever again," Harry said as he looked up at Draco with his wide doe eyes. "I swear. I will _never_ drink."

"Damn right, you won't," Draco spat out, enveloping Harry in a furious hug. "I won't let you."

"You can't order me around anymore, Malfoy," Harry grumbled.

"Shut up."

Harry pouted against Draco's chest. He noticed how it was still, quite conveniently, naked. He pressed an apologetic kiss atop Draco's heart. "Sorry," he whispered.

Draco softened instantaneously, calming himself down. Harry fitted Draco between his legs as he was still seated on the barstool. "Falmouth Falcons?" Draco asked as the words suddenly entered his mind. "Wait, what?" He stepped away from Harry.

"Hmm?" Harry asked, a distant smile on his lips.

"Falcons. You said something about the Falcons, Potter," Draco said rapidly.

"What about them?" Harry asked, reaching out and pulling Draco forward so they were close. Draco let out a frustrated growl, trying to break out of Harry's grip. Harry held on tight, smirking as he planted errant kisses on Draco.

"Stop!" Draco snapped. "Tell me!"

"No," Harry said.

"You tried out, didn't you?" Draco asked.

"No."

"You made it, didn't you?" Draco guessed correctly.

"No," Harry lied.

"That's why you were drinking, weren't you?"

"No."

"Potter!"

"Malfoy…"

"You're the new Seeker for the Falmouth Falcons, aren't you?" Draco asked.

"Does that… turn you on?" Harry asked, flicking his tongue against Draco's lips.

"Goddamnit!" Draco swore, wrenching out of Harry's arms forcefully, nearly upending Harry. "Not a good time."

Harry sighed, rubbing his face to get rid of his thoughts. "I don't know, Draco. I don't think I should accept the position," he said. "I mean, I'm not all that… capable. Up here, I mean," he pointed to his head.

Draco gaped at Harry. "You…" He let out a surprised laugh. "Oh my gosh! You are… you're the new-you're a Seeker, Harry! Oh my gosh!" His lips clashed with Harry's as he bent Harry back in an elaborate kiss. "That so turns me on!"

Harry smile in surprise, responding to the kiss. "Then maybe I _should _take them up on that offer," he mumbled, his words muffled against Draco's mouth.

"Fuck, I can't keep my hands off of you," Draco groaned, shamelessly pulling up Harry's shirt and pursing his lips around one erect nipple.

"Get off!" Harry gasped, trying to swat Draco away as he blushed.

"No," Draco said, rolling his tongue against the hard nub.

"Your mother," Harry moaned.

Draco paused, exhaling in frustration. "Damn," he muttered, letting go of Harry.

Harry quickly pulled down his shirt. The two men blinked at each for a second. "This isn't going to work, is it?" Harry asked.

"No," Draco breathed, jerking Harry into a wanton kiss.

Harry groaned in defeat, tangling his fingers into Draco's hair as he parted his mouth.


	11. Chapter 11

**As always, huge props to InsaneOrange for being awesome and totally not giving up on me!**

* * *

After a more than slightly awkward greeting with Narcissa and enduring the embarrassment of having Malfoy _drop him off_ at Grimmauld Place, Harry found himself at home, pondering the events that had transpired.

How had Draco become everything Harry wanted? Needed? Just being with Draco made Harry wonder if his life was a reality or just one of his hallucinations. This Draco was not the same. This Draco was inviting and smiling. This Draco worried about Harry. This Draco loved Harry.

Draco had started visiting Harry's dreams since he started visiting Harry at the hospital. And that had confused Harry because, before that, his dreams had been filled with friends and family.

Then there was that time at the lake…

_Harry was on a makeshift raft, swinging his legs against the water. His pants were rolled up so they wouldn't get soaked. He was just sitting there, minding his own business when –_

_"This is such a waste of time…" Draco glared at Harry. The Slytherin was on his stomach, dragging his fingers through the water and looking bored as hell. Harry stared in mild surprise, wondering when Draco had gotten on the raft. "Look, Potter. You may not have much to do with your life right now, but I do. Talk already. I don't have all the time in the world."_

"_Shut up," Harry said quietly, not used to hearing his own voice._

"_Huh?" Draco asked, looking up at Harry._

"_Shut. Up," Harry repeated, stronger this time._

_Draco looked like he wanted to add to that, but he thought better of it and snapped his mouth shut with a click. He made a frustrated tsk with his tongue as he drew shapes in the water. Harry stared at the pale finger dipping halfway into the cool and near-black water. He leaned down and copied the same pattern, feeling the ripples of water flow against his finger. Draco lifted his hand up, water dripping down gently. Harry did the same, fascinated by the water rolling off his index finger. Draco went on to scratch his chin with his finger. Harry imitated him, wondering why he would do that. Then Draco scowled. This was something Harry knew how to do. He scowled back._

_They went on to stare at the setting sun._

At the time, he hadn't thought much of it. But now he wondered if that had been the first time Draco had gotten through to him.

* * *

"So…" Lily said, placing her mug of tea down on the table firmly, "are we going to dance about the situation or are you going to talk?"

Harry smiled sheepishly, shrugging. "Um… I just don't know where to start," he said.

"What did you _really_ want to talk about?" she asked.

Harry rolled his eyes warily. "What do you think?" he asked.

"Draco," she guessed.

"Hmm…"

"What about him?" she urged.

Harry swirled the tea in his cup, stalling as he tried to figure out what to say. "It's just… we were talking and he said that he… well, he helped me, didn't he?"

"He did," Lily nodded.

"Okay. The thing is I-I don't really remember," he said, wincing.

Lily nodded again and murmured, "Understandably so."

"I can't tell my dreams apart from what really happened," he said.

"When _do_ you remember him?" Lily asked.

At this, Harry blushed and cleared his throat while keeping his eyes on the table. "It's not like I _don't_ remember him," he said. "I don't really know when I realized it was all real." He sighed despondently. "It's hard to explain, Lily."

"Try me," she said.

Harry cupped his cheek in his hand and rested his elbow on the table. "There was this one time… I don't know if it happened. I don't know if it's just a memory or a dream or whatever. I was in class at Hogwarts. Snape was there too. And Draco and I had to make something… a potion. Things got pretty weird. I think I punched him? But, one second I'm in the dungeon and the next… I'm someplace else." He shook his head. "I don't know."

"Someplace else?" Lily asked.

"I can't remember," Harry said, frustrated. "It was dark and then suddenly it was bright. We weren't in the dungeons anymore. That's all I know. That and a _lot_ of pain. But I'm pretty sure I gave him a fair share of bruises too." He finally looked up at her. "Draco helped me once. Something happened and he… Like, everything was wrong for a bit and then everything became alright." He massaged his temple. "It's all so confusing."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Lily said honestly. "Try again."

"I can't," Harry exclaimed out of desperation.

"How did everything become alright?" Lily asked.

Harry exhaled forcefully, frowning. "After we fought he… apologized? He said sorry. I don't know why, though. And I don't know if it's real. For all I know, I'm just making this up."

Lily sipped her tea thoughtfully. "After he punched you?" she asked.

"I don't know… I think so," Harry mumbled, pouting.

"Do you remember apologizing to him, Harry?"

"I don't know," Harry repeated.

Lily smiled wanly. "He did help you once," she said. Harry knitted his brows together. "You two fought and you apologized. He wouldn't. I guess you didn't really like that." She laughed at this. "In fact, you were crying. First time I had seen you cry, actually. Anyway, you were crying and biting your lip. When I came back with Joseph, Draco had his hand in your mouth and you were biting him. I think that woke you up…" She trailed off when she noticed Harry's slack jaw. "You remember now?" she asked.

"I bit him… Th-that happened?" he asked, horrified.

"He apologized. Maybe that's what you remember."

"_I'm sorry…" Harry murmured._

_And he fell into blackness. Everything inside him burned, choked. He needed to get away from this. He didn't want any more pain. He bit his lip to keep from screaming in anguish. His chest was squeezing the breath out of him as tears pooled in his eyes. He hadn't cried in so long… He kept his sobs in._

_His jaw was forced open. And all he could do was scream. He struggled against the weight that was crushing him, threatening to hurt him beyond all hope. He bit down on his lips again, tasting the blood against his tongue. His mouth was forced open like before, the hidden scream bursting out of him. He didn't know what to do._

_The moment he could close his mouth, he did. Except…_

_He opened his eyes._

_Draco?_

_Draco was… his hand was… Harry's jaw fell open when he realized what he was biting on. Draco…_

_He scrambled up and threw himself at the man, holding on for dear life._

"_I'm sorry," Draco whispered. "I'm sorry too."_

"I remember," Harry said, staring at Lily with wide eyes. "He said sorry! For… hitting me?"

Lily grinned. "Yes! That's it! Okay, what else?" she asked excitedly.

Harry sat forward, pressing his hands to his eyes. "There was that one time we were in the Forbidden Forest. You too. And I was telling him about Narcissa. Did that happen?"

"It did!" Lily said, nodding furiously. "You told us how she helped you that night."

"And Draco was crying," Harry continued rapidly, lest he lost that memory. "He was crying because he couldn't remember Narcissa. And then I-he-I didn't… oh…" He stopped.

"Then what?"

Harry closed his eyes as he tried to ward off those thoughts. "Then I… I just wanted to stop. Stop living. That happened too, didn't it?"

Lily sobered up quite quickly at this. "Hmm…" she murmured, her head downturned.

"I don't know what I was thinking," Harry said, appearing defeated. "Obviously I _wasn't_ thinking. I guess I realized that… none of this was real. And if-if it wasn't real, I didn't want to be here."

"So you wanted to die…" Lily said. Harry didn't answer. "Was it because you had nothing more to do, Harry?" she asked.

"What?" Harry asked, tilting his head.

"It's just that you had already helped everyone," she explained. "And Healer Warren thought that because of that, maybe you didn't want to live. You felt like you didn't have a purpose."

Harry turned those words over in his head. Was that why? Or was it because he didn't know how to get out of his miserable mind? "I think I knew, Lily," he said carefully. "I think I knew that things weren't the way they were supposed to be. But I didn't know how to get out of my head. I didn't know how…"

"So you didn't want to live in your mind anymore?" she asked.

Harry smiled sadly, tired. "I guess. I mean, having Draco visit me was… different. It felt different." He flexed his hand into a fist. "I felt pain. And I hadn't felt pain in so long. He was different… And when things went back to normal, I didn't like it. I could tell that something wasn't right."

"And he came back, Harry," she said softly.

"He did, didn't he?" Harry said, distant.

* * *

Draco knocked on the door, a grin ready on his face. Harry nearly stepped back out of shock at seeing such a happy expression on Draco. "Hey," Draco murmured, pulling Harry into a hug.

"Hi," Harry said, dazed.

Draco pushed Harry into Grimmauld Place, closing the door behind them. They were in the drawing room the next minute, seated on the couch. "What's up?" Draco asked.

Harry shrugged. "Not much, I guess," he said.

Then they lapsed into silence. Draco wouldn't keep his eyes off of Harry and Harry wouldn't stop looking at the patterns on the Persian rug. Draco felt deplorably euphoric at having Harry _right there_. He was like a lovesick fan girl. But at that moment, he could care less. "Why are you so quiet?" he asked, dropping his hand on Harry's hand.

Harry jerked, pulling his hand back. Draco's smile fell away. He moved his hand back too, placing it on the sofa instead. Harry was blinking rapidly, shaking his head. "S-sorry," he stammered. "Um-I just had a long day with Lily, that's all. I'm f-"

Draco nudged Harry's chin up, making their eyes meet. "What's wrong?" he asked.

And he saw it.

He had seen that look on Harry many times at the hospital. Those green eyes would flit from clarity to vagueness in a split second. Harry couldn't tell if this was a dream or not…

Draco cupped Harry's cheek and kissed him slowly. Harry didn't respond, holding his breath as he felt Draco's lips against his. Draco smiled again. "I told you to stop pretending, didn't I?" he whispered.

Harry leaned away from the kiss so he could stare at Draco incredulously. "Huh?" he asked, dumbstruck.

Draco sighed out of sheer exasperation. "Well, if you don't know whether this is real, just ask me!" he said, throwing his hands up in the air.

Harry bunched his fingers against the sofa, unsure of everything now. "I-I-uh…" he stuttered.

"You what?" Draco asked, quirking a brow.

Harry swallowed loudly. "Is-is this… real?" he asked, his voice breaking halfway through.

"It's very real," Draco huffed. "Sheesh." He jerked Harry forward into a forceful kiss. Harry inhaled sharply and wrapped his arms around Draco, pulling him close. Draco hummed in appreciation. He slid his hand down Harry's shirt. Before he could move past the belt, Harry stopped him. Draco growled, unhappy with that action.

Harry laughed, breaking the kiss. "What is it with you and sex?" he asked, breathing heavily.

"It's not sex," Draco smirked. "It's _you_."

"Oh," Harry breathed, blushing out of embarrassment. "That's… nice."

Draco scoffed, scooting closer to Harry. "You okay now?" he asked, pressing a soft kiss against Harry's cheek.

"Yeah," Harry said, nodding. "Sorry."

"What was that all about?"

Harry moved his head to the side as Draco's kisses slid down to his neck. "I had an episode," he mumbled, absently toying with the soft blond hair.

"You certainly did," Draco muttered.

Harry stilled the butterflies in his stomach as Draco's breath tickled him. "I couldn't tell if… I mean, it's just that you-you were all smiley and stuff," he said.

"You want me to be mean all the time, then?" Draco asked sarcastically. "That can be done quite easily."

Harry chuckled, gasping in between as Draco's finger snuck under his shirt. "That _does _sound like a good idea," he said, causing Draco to raise his head and glare at Harry. "See? It's already working," Harry said.

"Shut up," Draco said sullenly, pushing Harry back onto the couch and returning to his neck. "Anyway, like I said, if you aren't sure you should just ask me. I'll tell you."

Harry slid his leg between Draco's, curling into the sofa. "What would you tell me if I asked you in my dreams?" he asked.

Draco smirked. "I don't kiss like _that_ in your dreams, do I?" he asked, gently pushing Harry's shirt up and hoping that motion would go unnoticed.

Harry didn't move a muscle, too wrapped up in his thoughts and Draco's lips. "You certainly don't," he said, closing his eyes. "You're… much messier in real life."

"I take offense to that!" Draco snapped.

"I don't," Harry said, squirming under Draco's hands. Draco moved his lips down to Harry's chest, lavishing attention against the warm skin. "What are you doing?" Harry asked, trying to push Draco away.

"Just enjoy it," Draco said.

Harry bucked when Draco's fingers brushing against his sides drew a ripple of shudders out of him. "Draco," he moaned, closing his eyes.

Draco licked Harry from the dip under his ribs to his navel. "You're so sensitive, Potter," he said.

Harry tried to stop from shivering again. "I-I need to-to talk…" he said.

"Fine. Talk," Draco said.

"Can't think," Harry hissed as Draco wove patterns against his skin with his mouth.

"Try _really_ hard," Draco taunted, smirking.

Harry swallowed to wet his parched throat. "It's-it's about after I-I tried to… do myself off," he said.

"Great choice of words," Draco grumbled.

Harry searched for Draco blindly. His hands dropped against the back of Draco's neck. He stroked it, trying to keep his concentration from straying. "It felt awful, Draco. Being in my head, I mean. It felt awful. That's why I didn't want to live. But every time I tried to-"

"If you say 'kill myself', I'm going to knock your teeth out," Draco whispered, crawling back up to Harry's lips and silencing him.

Harry's chest ached from unsaid words. He needed to get them out. He turned his head, pulling his mouth away from Draco's. "Every time I tried to _stop_," he said emphatically, "no one would let me. Lily said they would revive me. But you have to understand that I-"

"Don't," Draco said hurriedly, pressing his palm against Harry's lips. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to understand why Harry tried to stop living. He didn't want to know.

Harry blinked up at Draco's angered eyes. "I'm sorry," he said, his words muffled. Draco lessened the pressure against Harry, perplexed. "I don't know what I was thinking," Harry said, his words free. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't have anything to live for."

"It's because I left," Draco interrupted, pressing his hands against Harry's cheeks. "It was my fault, Harry. You don't have anything to be sorry about, okay?"

Harry saw Draco squeeze his eyes shut and grit his teeth. Harry finally understood what was wrong with Draco. He wiggled his arms out from under Draco and pushed the man off of him, turning him over. Draco was on his back before he could figure out what Harry wanted him to do. By then, Harry was atop him, straddling him purposefully. "You are a damned egotistical prick, Malfoy."

Draco gaped at Harry. "Uh… What?"

"It's not always about you," Harry said patronizingly, pressing a sure kiss on Draco. "It's quite obviously not your fault."

"But after I left-"

"After you left," Harry interjected, "I realized it, Draco. I realized how everything was… in my head. Thank you. I want to thank you. Okay? You helped me, remember? It's not your fault."

Draco was staring up breathlessly. He raised his hand up and traced Harry's jaw with his fingers. "How on Earth are you so beautiful?" he asked.

Harry gasped in reproach, shoving Draco's hand away. "Shut up!"

Draco hugged Harry close. "No," he snubbed, breathing heavily to get rid of the lump in his throat. "You are the most beautiful person I know and I love you."

"Stop," Harry whined, resting his head against Draco's shoulder.

"I won't stop. Ever," Draco said in defiance.

Harry smiled secretly, breathing in Draco's cologne. "Lily told me that… I started responding again when you started painting the walls. Is that true?" he asked.

Draco nodded. "I think you liked it. You wanted to touch the wall," he murmured.

"I did like it," Harry whispered.

Draco jerked in awareness. "W-wait! Y-you remember?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Harry said shyly.

"What? What do you remember?" Draco asked, animated.

"Things were awful for a long time. And then there was so much green," Harry recalled. "And blue and red. So many colors. And I heard you. I heard you talking. I was happy, Draco."

"Yeah?" Draco asked as pride swelled in him. "Because of me?"

"All because of you," Harry said lovingly. "You painted my world. You made the stars move. You would talk to me for hours. I remember that too. Lily says that… she says that everything I dreamt about you happened in real life. I never knew how amazing you were…" Draco didn't say anything, feeling thoroughly abashed. Harry sensed this and, knowing the feeling all too well, decided it was time to move on. "That was my prissy personality talking, by the way," he quipped.

Draco laughed heartily as he kept each of the moments in his mind for safekeeping. "What other personalities do you have?" he asked.

Harry smiled while nestling into Draco. "Everyone has different personalities, right?" he asked.

"Hmm… I guess."

"Like, I'm different with Teddy than I am with Ron and Neville. With them, it's really easy. I always know who I should be. _You_ are obviously the problem. You're _always_ the problem," Harry murmured.

"Because you're used to being mean to me…" Draco finished.

"Yeah," Harry deadpanned, causing Draco to roll his eyes. "In my defense, you always gave me a reason to be mean," Harry clarified.

"As have you."

"I was just trying to save the wizarding world. No big deal," Harry said, tongue in cheek.

"And I was just trying to stop from getting murdered. No big deal," Draco retorted. Harry laughed quietly, wriggling up so he could put his elbows on the couch, trapping Draco between them. He bent down and kissed the awaiting lips without hurry. Draco closed his eyes languidly, enjoying the calm kiss. "Tell me what else you remember?" he asked.

Harry wet his lips, his tongue flicking across Draco's lips at the same time. Draco parted his mouth. Harry kept his tongue to himself, using his teeth to nip Draco's bottom lip. Draco tsked in discomfort, frowning. "You are delectable," Harry said before biting Draco again.

"Stop," Draco tried to say, shivering nonetheless.

Harry shook his head, continuing his assault. "What else?" he said, thinking. "We would fly a lot together. I liked that. I won all the time, though."

"Hmph," Draco huffed.

Harry snorted in amusement. "Anyway, we would do that. Sometimes we would be in Potions class. Or in the Gryffindor dorm. But you were always nice to me. Even when you were snarky and all, you would be nice to me. I love that, you know?"

Draco smiled faintly. "That's good," he breathed, Harry's voice lulling him into a mellow mood.

"Some days, I wouldn't feel like keeping company. But that was okay with you. I mean, you'd complain and all, but you wouldn't go away. So persistent. And then I figured out why I wasn't too bothered by you hanging about all the time…"

"Why?" Draco asked.

"Because I fell in love with you," Harry smiled and stopped nibbling on Draco's swollen lips. "Which is why I told you just that. And then you kissed me."

"You remember…" Draco chuckled.

"Of course. Haven't been kissed in five years…"

"And," Draco sighed, trying to sit up, "don't think I can stop after five years." He captured Harry's lips against his.

"You're going to be attached to my face from now on, then?" Harry asked, his words muffled.

"Yup," Draco said without hesitance. "Forever."

"Gosh, Malfoy," Harry muttered in mock frustration.

"Don't lie. You love it…"

Harry finally detached himself from Draco, struggling off of his lap. "Sadly, yes," he admitted, standing up while swaying slightly from the lack of blood flow to his head. "Anyway, stay for dinner?"

"You cook?" Draco asked, getting up as well.

"Kreacher does," Harry winked, grinning. "Let's go see what he's up to."

* * *

"Have you talked to him about that day yet?" Healer Warren dropped in during casual conversation.

"What day?" Harry asked, playing dumb.

"The day you snapped out of it," Joseph said, studying Harry closely.

Harry shrugged. "He's forgiven me for that. We don't want to bring it up," he said, smoothing his shirt.

"Mhm…"

Harry drummed his fingers against the armrest. "He knows why I did that," he said.

"That's good…"

"And he knows I didn't mean it," Harry continued.

"Okay."

"What?" Harry scowled, not pleased with Joseph's vague words.

"Tell _me_ what happened, then," the Healer said, sitting forward.

Harry shifted on his chair, evidently uncomfortable. "I just… I needed to get better. So I did," he said vaguely.

"But you used Draco."

"I didn't use him," Harry said, looking up with an angry spark in his eyes.

"Alright," Joseph said with an apologetic smile. He held his hands up in surrender. "I'll move on. Thought about the Seeker position?"

It took Harry a few moments to regain his composure. He grinned easily and said, "Apparently everyone else has thought about it for me."

* * *

"Do you know why I hit you that day?"

Draco deflated in an instant. "What?" he asked piteously, sitting back in his chair.

"Do you know why I told you I hated you?"

Draco winced, thinking back. "You didn't mean it…" he murmured.

"How do you know I didn't mean it?" Harry asked.

"You… did mean it?" Draco asked, looking up.

Harry watched Draco's flurry of expressions that trying ever so hard to stay hidden. "Hmm," he murmured, shaking his head. "I didn't mean it."

Draco looked visibly relieved. "I knew you didn't mean it," he said, smiling shakily.

"I didn't mean it, Draco," Harry said again. "I was having such pleasant dreams when I was with you. And it all seemed so perfect... Then I heard Lily talk about how Narcissa was being sent back… And I knew it was because I couldn't talk about what happened. And I knew that I had to wake up."

_He felt Draco's tender touch on his shoulder, so many days after the last touch. He slapped the hand away. The hand returned, unperturbed. Harry closed his eyes tighter, hitting the hand away._

_"Hey," Draco whispered, stroking Harry's hair._

_Harry's mind screamed in agony. He shot up in bed and pushed away from Draco. "Don't touch me!" he spat out. If Draco knew how Harry had betrayed him... Draco reached out to Harry again. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Harry screamed, bringing his fists up._

_"What's wrong?" Draco asked._

_Harry needed to get better._

_Everything was wrong!_

_He can't love Draco. He needed to hate Draco. He needed to hate Draco so he could get better._

_"GET OUT! GET OUT!" Harry shouted, pointing at the door._

_"Why? What's wrong, Harry?" Draco asked._

_Harry couldn't bear to look at those honest eyes. "Don't call me that," he hissed, repulsed with himself for saying these things. "You-you are-Just get out! I fucking hate you!"_

_Draco didn't understand. "I don't-it's-it's me," he said quietly._

_Why won't he understand?_

_"I know who you are," Harry muttered, his breath coming out in spurts. Once he started hating Draco again, everything would go back to the way it was. And he could help Draco's mother. It would get better. All he needed to do was... "You're a manipulative bastard, Malfoy. I want nothing to do with you. Get out!"_

_Not Draco. Malfoy._

_"What are you-"_

_"I don't want your fucking love and I don't need your damned sympathy. Get out of my life!"_

_Draco look hurt, nearly dissolving Harry's will. Not Draco. Malfoy. "Harry..."_

_"You have no right to call me that," Harry said breathlessly, ready to burst into tears. "And you have no right to love me."_

_Malfoy froze, his expression betraying him. "I-I didn't… I'm-I'm sorry," he stammered, not knowing what to say._

_"GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!"_

_"I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Malfoy shouted back desperately._

_That was all the prompt Harry needed. Malfoy was shouting at him and Harry was going to retaliate. He scrambled forward, furious. He shoved Malfoy off the bed. "GET OUT!"_

_Malfoy shoved Harry in turn. "Tell me why!" he exclaimed._

_This Harry could do. Having Malfoy fight back was something Harry was used to. This was what he needed. "What does it take to get it into your thick head?" Harry snapped. "I don't want you here. I can't stay sane when you're here. Understand? You're making me worse. Get out of my life! I'm done with solving your bloody problems. Stop. Using. Me."_

_Malfoy blinked at Harry, appearing defeated. "I-I'm helping you, Harry. I'm not… I'm not using you for anything," he said helplessly. "I love y-" His words were cut short by Harry's fist blurring towards him and hitting his cheek._

_"See? I'm getting better already," Harry muttered tauntingly. "You're just as pathetic as you were then, you know that? Groveling so you could look out for yourself. Get out before I have to make you leave."_

Draco listened in shock as he heard Harry explain it all. He finally understood why Harry had done that. He heard of the turmoil and anguish in Harry's mind. But Harry had done that for him. "I guess I hated Malfoy," Harry said ruefully. "And I just… I didn't-that was the only way I knew, Draco. I'm… I used you. Do you understand? I had to use you because I didn't know how else to get better. I'm sorry."

"Harry," Draco interrupted.

Harry didn't stop. "And I know I hurt you. But I want you to know that I… I didn't mean any of that. I don't know why you forgave me this easily." He laughed humorlessly. "Well, I guess you did punch me after… but still… I'm glad that you haven't held that against me. If it hadn't been for you, I'd still be in that room. Or worse."

"Don't say that," Draco murmured, clasping Harry's hand to his.

"I was confused, Draco," Harry said, slipping his fingers between Draco's. "I'm always confused," he added, smiling. "So if I say things like that again… well, just know that I don't ever mean it, okay?"

"I know," Draco assured.

"And if I do happen to hit you again, feel free to hit me back," Harry said, a poor attempt at humor.

"I won't think twice," Draco mumbled, squeezing Harry's hand.

"If I ever tell you that I hate you-"

"I know you love me," Draco interrupted.

"I do..."


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks, InsaneOrange, for beta-ing this never-ending story...**

* * *

Harry cuddled closer to Draco before realizing what he was doing. His eyes shot open and he pushed away with a soft, "What the fuck?"

Draco woke up at this, sighing. "Hmm?" he asked, cracking his eyes open. He found Harry staring at him in shock. "You're awake," he smiled drowsily, dragging Harry forward into a warm hug.

"What are you doing here?" Harry asked, trying to remember when Draco had come over last night.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Draco asked in turn.

Harry couldn't believe it. He was at the manor again. He closed his eyes, grimacing. "Oh no," he breathed.

"Yeah," Draco grinned, wrapping a leg around Harry. "Pleasant dreams."

"When?" Harry asked in defeat.

"Late… Around two."

"I'm sorry," Harry murmured, burying his face against Draco's shirt.

"I'm not," Draco smiled. "You can't seem to keep away from me, can you?"

"So full of yourself," Harry mumbled.

"Why don't you just stay here?"

"Be serious," Harry scoffed.

"It's better than apparating in the middle of the night. _Without_ a wand, I might add," Draco said.

"Wait," Harry moved back so he could stare up at Draco. "You aren't kidding?"

"Why would I kid?" Draco asked, kissing Harry lovingly. "Besides, you seemed to really enjoy last night," he whispered as he trailed his hand down Harry's stomach.

That was when Harry felt the uncomfortable wetness between his legs. He gasped as he sat up, bringing his knees to his chest. "What the hell?" he asked breathlessly.

"You happen to be _very_ sexy when you're sleepwalking," Draco said, winking at Harry.

"You didn't!" Harry exclaimed. "Please tell me you didn't…"

Draco chuckled, jerking Harry down for a hard kiss. "I didn't do anything too scandalous," he said cheekily.

"I was asleep, damn it!"

"So?"

Harry resisted the urge to punch the daylights out of Draco. "You're disgusting," he muttered in revulsion.

"And _you_," Draco sighed, "were incredible."

Harry narrowed his eyes. "What?" he asked.

"Incredible," Draco echoed, piquing a brow.

"Incredible?" Harry questioned. "That… doesn't sound right."

"Guess I know you better than you do," Draco said apathetically.

"Oh my gosh!" Harry gasped. "Did I… I mean, did we… because I can't-I can't remember, Draco! Shit! I'm so sorry! I didn't… hurt you, did I?"

Draco sat up with an irritated huff. He pressed his hands against Harry's knees to stop the rambling. "I said we didn't do anything too scandalous, didn't I?" he said, tilting his head suggestively.

Harry sighed with relief. "Oh, thank Merlin."

"But you do have a mean tongue on you…"

Harry turned green. "Blergh!" he gagged, wiping his tongue with his sleeve. "Ergh," he shuddered, grabbing the sheets and stuffing his mouth with it. "Gwoff! Fo gwoff!" he garbled. Draco was on his side the next second, clutching his stomach as he laughed at Harry's piteous image. "I hafe oo!" Harry shouted, screwing his eyes shut and balling his hands into fists. That only caused Draco to gasp for air as he roared with merriment. Harry kicked him in the chest, appearing utterly dejected. Draco looked up at Harry – Harry who had his mouth full of white linen, a nauseated grimace, clenched fists and occasional shudders whenever his mind _went there_.

"Oh, Harry," Draco laughed, getting up on his knees shakily. "I was kidding!"

"Hrgh?" Harry opened his eyes. Draco nodded in earnest, pressing a hand to his heart. Harry spat out the sheet from his mouth, smacking his tongue to the roof of his dry mouth. "Kidding?"

"Of course," Draco said, kissing Harry's chapped lips. "You were asleep, for fuck's sake…"

"I was," Harry said quickly, nodding.

"You don't really think I would do something like that, do you?" Draco asked.

"Uh…"

"Prat," Draco muttered, smacking Harry over the head. "Now I'm damned tired and you are pissing me off." He pulled Harry down, making him lay on his back. Once they were back in bed, Draco curled into Harry with a low murmur.

Harry was trying not to fidget nervously. He blinked up at the canopy, acutely aware of how uncomfortable his pajamas felt. "So…" he whispered, hoping Draco hadn't fallen asleep already, "was it, like… a one-way thing?"

"Hmm," Draco answered, a response Harry took as being 'yes'.

"What happened… exactly?" Harry asked.

Draco yawned, wiping his face against Harry's shirt. "Apparently you like to feel me up," he said nonchalantly.

"Draco," Harry groused.

"You asked me to explain," Draco said. "And I am. You knocked on my door at two in the morning. I let you in. You damned near mauled me. And I had to get you to calm down. So I-"

"Don't want to hear it," Harry rushed.

"-gave you a blowjob."

Harry groaned once again, appalled. "Why would you do that?" he asked.

"Like I said, you seemed to enjoy it," Draco said, dragging fingers against Harry's arm. "A lot, I might add."

Harry stopped from pulling his hair out in exasperation. "I need you to shut up, okay?" he said with very little patience.

"Shutting up," Draco said, much to his credit.

Now Harry could think. "So you… satisfied me and I… didn't return the favor?" he asked. Draco smiled when he heard the careful words.

He didn't say anything. Harry exhaled forcefully and flipped over, upending a very astonished Draco.

"What are you-"

Draco was cut off by Harry's harsh lips. "Stop talking," Harry breathed urgently. He bunched Draco's shirt up and tugged, Draco wiggled out of it, tossing it away. Harry's cold hands seared him, causing him to shrink into the bed involuntarily with a low hiss. "Stop trying to do things for me," Harry murmured, bending towards Draco's neck and biting him. Draco tried to push away, shaking his head. Harry increased the pressure, tasting the salty skin and warmth against his tongue.

"That hurts," Draco choked out, pressing his hands against Harry's shoulders to make him let go.

Instead Harry grabbed the hands and fastened them against the mattress with his own fingers, immobilizing Draco partially. "And stop taking advantage of me, you bastard!"

"I wasn't!" Draco argued, now attempting to buck Harry off. "You're leaving a bruise!"

"Good," Harry said, letting Draco's neck escape after pressing a kiss against the red mark.

"Fuck off," Draco swore, wrenching one hand away from Harry's grip and trying to push him off.

Harry took a hold of Draco's hand and held it to the captive again. "You're getting on my nerves, Malfoy," he hissed, rutting against Draco's erection wantonly. Draco let out a garbled moan, wrapping his legs around Harry without thought. "Oh?" Harry asked, smirking.

Draco suddenly realized what he had done. He unwound his legs and started struggling again. "Get off of me!" he said brokenly, twisting under Harry.

"How is this any different from what you did to me last night?" Harry asked glibly, raising his head to stare down at Draco.

Draco lurched up, snapping his teeth at Harry.

Harry pulled back, a surprised smile against his lips. His hands still bound Draco's wrists but the man wasn't struggling. Instead, Draco was lying passively under Harry while taking heaving breaths. Harry ran the scenario in his head, realization dawning on him. He leaned down hesitantly as he scanned Draco's unreadable expression. He was but a hairbreadth away from Draco, staring into the steely grey eyes. "What was that?" he asked. He could hear Draco gritting his teeth. He tightened his grip on Draco's wrists, squeezing the slender bones. Draco inhaled sharply, eyes fluttering shut. Harry's smile widened as he took in the flushed cheeks and quickened breathing. He floated his lips above Draco's. "Did you… want to play, _Malfoy_?" he asked heavily. Then he pulled back with ample reflex of a Seeker.

Which was a good thing since Draco had lurched up again, straining against Harry's restraints. "Fuck. Off," he snarled.

Harry laughed, letting go of Draco's wrists and dragging him into an ardent embrace. "You're so sick," he whispered, pressing soft kisses wherever he could.

Draco responded with yearning touches, raking his hand across Harry's lean torso. "You were the one ready to try some bondage on me," he drawled.

"Next time," Harry responded, sliding his hand inside Draco's pajamas. Draco shivered in anticipation. "When I'm not all tuckered out."

"Not if I beat you to it…" Draco answered, breathing out slowly as Harry's fingers traveled along his arousal. Harry gently sucked on Draco's nipple as he slid his palm against Draco's erection. He wanted to leave his lover a shuddering mess by the end of all this. Draco was steadily pumping in Harry's hand, letting out soft whimpers whenever he stirred with pleasure. "Faster?" he suggested, breath caught in his throat as he stared up at Harry.

Harry obliged, kissing Draco as he moved his hand quicker. Draco moaned into Harry's lips as his head spun. Harry used his free hand to caress Draco's stomach, sending quivers of pleasure through the pale man. Draco arched up, aching for release.

Harry let go.

"Oh," Draco sighed, falling onto the mattress and hugging himself. "Damn it, you're so good…"

"Yeah?" Harry asked, pushing the hair out of Draco's forehead.

"Yeah," Draco nodded, gulping to wet his dry throat. "More…"

Harry smiled wickedly as he wrapped his fingers around Draco again. Draco jerked and then folded his arms around Harry. He controlled his breathing as he watched Harry's eyes flitting across his face. Harry blushed uncharacteristically, his fingers faltering. Draco gasped as Harry brushed against his sensitive tip carelessly. Harry closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "Stop looking at me like that," he mumbled.

Draco blinked away the haze, focusing on the words. "Like what?" he asked, pressing a hand to Harry's cheek.

"I don't know," Harry said, embarrassed.

"Like what, Harry?" Draco asked, panting. Harry stopped his ministrations and hugged Draco fervently. Draco's eyes rolled to the back of his head, partly from the inability to climax. "Don't stop," he begged.

"Do you love me _that_ much?" Harry whispered.

"I said don't stop," Draco growled.

Harry couldn't help but smile as Draco writhed under him. If being with this man meant having those stormy eyes stare longingly up at him, Harry wanted to live forever. He had never seen that expression on Draco. But that made him much more beautiful. Harry rested his hand against Draco's near painful erection. "I love you even more," Harry whispered, tracking his fingers along the stiff ridge to the tip.

"I'm-I'm coming," Draco stammered, fisting the sheets. Harry maneuvered his fingers and palm until he was engulfing Draco gently. He moved his hand up once and then pushed it down hard. Draco shouted in ardor, climaxing violently under Harry. "F-fuck," he heaved, trying to buck Harry off of him. Harry didn't budge as he was too enthralled with keeping Draco's orgasmic face in memory. To think that Draco was feeling such pleasure because of him was empowering. "Harry," Draco whimpered.

"Right here," Harry whispered, nudging Draco's cheek with his nose.

"I love you."

"I know," Harry laughed

"No… I _love_ you," Draco said thickly.

"Like the 'I'll-do-anything-and-everything-for-you' kind, right?" Harry asked. "I know… I love you too."

"Okay," Draco breathed, falling asleep under Harry's lips.

He awoke three hours later, swaddled in the sheets and pressed against Harry. He opened his eyes, humming in contentment. "I'm awake," he announced.

"About time," Harry grumbled.

"I like this," Draco smiled, burying his head against Harry's chest. "I like you, Potter."

"Good."

"So… what does a guy have to do to keep you?" Draco asked, peeking up at Harry.

"You can't keep me," Harry murmured. "I come and go as I please."

Draco had never felt this comfortable in bed. Harry was warm and perfect. At this rate, Draco would never want to get up. He frowned in displeasure as he muttered, "I have to pee."

Harry laughed at that errant comment. "You have no idea how good you look asleep, Malfoy," he whispered. "Hold it."

"Wish I could," Draco groaned, rolling away from Harry's hug and stumbling out of bed. "Don't move!" He ran to his bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Harry smiled distantly as he turned onto his back and stared up at the canopy. He couldn't tell if he was dreaming. But at that point, he could care less. Either way, Draco was with him and that was all that seemed to matter. That was terrifying for Harry. He wasn't used to having nothing else matter. His mind was usually filled with his friends, Teddy, Ministry work, and other things. But now all he could think of was Draco. All he could wonder was what Draco liked for breakfast, who Draco had dated over the past five years, why Draco smiled in his sleep, and where Draco liked to go on holidays.

Draco jumped back in bed and pushed under the blankets, hugging Harry close. "You're so awesome, Harry," he murmured.

"I can't tell if this is real…"

Draco looked at Harry suspiciously. "Really?"

"Really."

Draco kissed Harry chastely. "It's real," he said.

Harry gave Draco a faint smile. "Good…"

* * *

Harry blinked his eyes into focus, jerking as he felt arms wrapped around him. He pushed away frantically and staggered back as the grip lessened. He felt a slow headache bloom across his forehead and he pressed his palms to his eyes.

"You alright?" Draco asked, fidgeting in place but keeping his hands to himself.

Harry whipped his head up, pulling his hands away. "Draco?" he croaked out in surprise.

"Yeah… Hey," Draco said, waving half-heartedly.

Harry roved his eyes around him, finding himself in his kitchen. "What…"

"I don't know," Draco shrugged, pulling his shirt straight out of worry. "Um… you just… I don't know."

"Oh…" Harry breathed. "S-sorry."

"It's fine."

"When-" Harry broke off, clearing his throat. "When did you get here?"

"Not too long ago," Draco said with a wry smile. "I guess you were already… out of it."

"Fuck," Harry swore, squeezing his eyes closed. "I-I don't know what-what to do."

Draco tentatively wrapped his arms around Harry, stepping in closer when Harry didn't move to push him away again. "Stay with _me_," he said emphatically.

"Draco," Harry murmured, shaking his head in response.

"Please?"

"I'm fine."

* * *

Narcissa finally gave up on reading and glared at the two men who were sitting on the couch. "If you're just going to gossip and giggle, do it in the living room," she said.

Harry and Draco looked up, glaring at her. "We weren't gossiping," Harry grumbled.

"Or giggling," Draco added.

"Of course you weren't," Narcissa muttered to herself, returning to her book. No more than two minutes later, the library echoed with quiet whispers and stifled laughter. Narcissa cleared her throat and the chatter died down, only to rise a few moments later. She wondered why she would want to sit around for this. She couldn't help catching the words drifting towards her.

"-totally punched you out and-"

"-did not! It didn't even-"

"-crying and running to Snape! We had to-"

"-can't even fight for yourself when-"

"-turned you into a fe-"

"Don't you dare!"

"-rret."

Draco smacked Harry over the head while the latter snickered. "Shut up," Draco said sullenly.

"Was it traumatizing?" Harry asked in mock sympathy.

"I said shut up, Potter."

Narcissa marveled at the ease with which the two men interacted with each other. She had never seen her son be this expressive with anyone else. Draco let his guard down when he was with Harry. Narcissa could see the vulnerability. But Harry didn't exploit it. He seemed to embrace that side of Draco. Narcissa thanked Merlin for that. They seemed truly happy when they were together. Sometimes, she wondered if she was an unwanted intrusion. There wasn't much she could do about it, however. House arrest was house arrest.

"Whatever," Draco huffed, getting up, marching over to his mother and squeezing in next to her on the chaise. Narcissa knew he was sulking by the way his arms wound around her waist and his head rested against her shoulder. She could almost envision his pout. Harry had an amused look on his face. Narcissa could get used to this. She smiled privately, stroking Draco's hair.

* * *

"Why haven't you told anyone about us?" Draco asked, not quite expecting that question to have the impact it did.

Harry looked stricken. "Oh…" was all he said.

Draco glanced at Harry quizzically, quickly taking in the shock. "Oh, no," he rushed, shaking his head. "I was just-I wasn't-I mean, I don't really care," he stammered out. "I was just wondering."

"I-I… I didn't think you… and everyone else. It could get bad," Harry said with hesitance.

"It's fine, Harry. I was just wondering," Draco said, trying to calm Harry down.

"But if you want, we could always-"

"Harry. Stop."

"I didn't think you would want to. I don't-I mean, I don't know what could ha-"

"You aren't listening!"

"What if you get hurt?"

Draco pressed his hands against Harry's cheeks and brought those green eyes up. "I was just wondering," he said emphatically. "I don't care, okay?"

Harry blinked at Draco with immense guilt in his expression. "Okay," he murmured unconvincingly.

"Harry!"

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"Sorry."

"Argh!" Draco threw his hands up in surrender, stomping away.

* * *

Each day, they found each other spiraling further into love.

Harry wanted to know _everything_ about Draco. It boggled Draco's mind as to how Harry was able to _retain_ all that in his mind. Draco was content with finding out everything about Harry in due time instead of all at once. While Harry liked to ask seemingly mindless questions, Draco liked to experience his questions.

Harry fell in love with Draco's soft laugh that never seemed to match the man's demeanor. Perhaps it was because he had never heard Draco laugh before, excluding the jeering laughter from school. Whenever Draco laughed, it was so unexpected. Sometimes, it seemed like even _he_ hadn't expected to express his amusement out loud. His laughs were always tentative, as though he wasn't sure if he was doing it right. Harry wanted to reassure Draco that he was laughing perfectly fine. But that might mean that the laugh would change. Harry didn't want it to change. He liked the shy and boyish laugh.

Draco fell in love with Harry's cynicism. He had never held a proper conversation with Harry before. Now that was all they did. Draco had had his trepidations of whether the Harry he had fallen in love with at the hospital would be gone. And he was right to some extent. But _this_ Harry could talk. And keep up. It surprised Draco to no end. He knew that he wasn't the best person to hold a conversation with. It was the way he was raised. Nobody was ever good enough. But Harry kept up with Draco's jibes and cryptic taunts. He seemed to enjoy them. And Draco could never get tired of it.

Harry fell in love with Draco's quiet whispers. Whether they be in bed, at dinner or, wandering aimlessly, Draco liked to lean in close and murmur into Harry's ear. Often it was abstract observations such as, 'I never noticed that painting before' or 'I'll get more coffee'. Then there were times when Harry heard, 'Five Galleons says I can get Mother to swear' or 'Really, Potter? You want your pancakes to swim in syrup?' Then there were those days when Draco would whisper, 'What did Joseph say?' or 'Do tell them about that at your next appointment'. Harry would sometimes catch, 'You make me so happy' and 'Love you'. Then there were the, 'You are looking way too good today, Potter' or 'I totally want to do you right here. Right now'. Harry loved _all_ those whispers.

Draco fell in love with the way Harry looked at him. The jade eyes were never judgmental or dull. At times, Harry looked at Draco in a way that made him remember the loving glances from all those months ago. Harry would also glance at him shyly, which made Draco wonder what was going on in Harry's mind. Sometimes those eyes would bore right into him, heating him to the point of not knowing how to live without that passionate gaze. Even when Harry felt tired and ready to snap at the next thing that rubbed him the wrong way, he would reserve the soft and calm eyes for Draco. Draco nearly melted when the love in those eyes enveloped him. He lived for all those looks – the anger, disapproval, confusion, intense ardor, loving acceptance, and enthusiasm. But there were looks Harry tried so very hard to hide. But Draco would see them from time to time – fear and sorrow. Draco loved those too…

Harry fell in love with Draco's love. It was gentle and nurturing. Harry could do no wrong in Draco's eyes. He felt so safe when he was in Draco's arms. He knew that Draco would look after him. He wondered how he had ever managed to find such a perfect man. Then he would see the look of silent devotion in Draco. It made Harry try harder to keep Draco smiling and laughing.

Draco fell in love with Harry's love. It was jumbled and unfamiliar. Draco liked having Harry discover how to love. He enjoyed the spontaneity of it. At times Harry would be reserved and coy while at other times, he would be pushing Draco against the wall with a desperate kiss. Draco liked to dig into Harry's mind and find out more about that wondrous world. There was always something new with Harry.

"Goodnight," Harry murmured, cradled against Draco.

"Hmm," Draco sighed, smiling.

* * *

Draco burst into the emergency, weaving through the throng of people as he tried to get to the front desk. His heart was hammering out of his chest and he couldn't stop shaking. He pushed past a frantic couple and garnered the attention of one of the attending. "I'm looking for Harry Potter," he said, panting slightly.

Nearly all conversation around Draco stopped at these words. Harry Potter? The attending took in Draco. "I'm sorry. We can't give out information about-"

"I just need to see him," Draco said hurriedly.

"You aren't allowed," the woman said, flustered.

"Why n-" before Draco could finish, authoritative hands wrapped around his arms and tried to pull him away. He looked up to see looming security wizards glaring at him. "I-I didn't do anything!" he exclaimed, trying to break out of their grips.

"In accordance to your parole, you are not allowed in," one of the hulking men said gruffly.

"But I didn't do anything, damn it!" Draco said, struggling. "I just need to-"

"We must escort you out," the other man explained, trying to drag Draco away from the desk.

"Please, I-"

"If you continue to resist, we have the authorization to use force," the security wizard warned. "Come with us."

"No, you don't understand!" But Draco was no match for the men. He was pulled away from the desk and jerked towards the exit. "I need to see Harry Potter," he tried to elaborate. "He's my-" he broke off. "We're friends. Please, just… I just need to see him." The security wizards were as blank as brick walls. "Damn it!" Draco growled, twisting out of their grips with a burst of adrenaline. He raced back to the throng of people, pushing past them again to get to the desk.

"Fuck it! Where's Potter?" Draco nearly shouted, slamming his hands against the counter.

Then everything went dark and silent.


	13. Chapter 13

**I owe InsaneOrange a healthy amount of Butterbeer. Thanks so much for all your help! You are a sweetheart!**

* * *

Next thing Draco knew, he was in a small office room. Alone. He blinked at the door, getting up off of the floor. "What the hell?" he murmured, frowning as he looked about him. He staggered to the door and tried the handle. Locked. He knocked loudly. "Let me out," he shouted, pressing his ear to the door to listen for a response. He didn't get any. He rattled the handle again, growing exasperated by the second. "Let me out!" he yelled, kicking the door. "Fuck," he hissed, feeling more helpless than ever. "I just need to see him," he called out. "I need to see Harry. Please, just… open the door! Open the fucking door!"

* * *

_Harry was struggling to breathe over the pain. His arm was being wrenched back and it felt ready to snap. He tried to push away the assailant but kept getting disoriented by the sharp pain in his head. He was shoved into a dank and dark room. His arm hung loose, as though dislocated. __He fell to his knees and tried to cover his ears from the hushed voices around him. "Let me out," he whispered hoarsely._

_Dementors._

_He screamed in terror as he felt them. He scrambled back and pressed himself against the wall, cowering. "Please! Let me out!" he shouted. And now he saw them. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face, trembling in fear. "Please," he sobbed. The cold hands touched him, burning him. "NO!" he screamed, faint with panic. "NO!"_

_Then they were gone. Harry pressed a hand against his mouth as he cried._

* * *

"He came in with a dislocated shoulder and a laceration on his head," the Mediwizard explained to Healer Warren. "He was unconscious."

"Where was he?" Joseph asked.

"Ministry, I believe. They say he just fainted. He fell on his side, unsupported."

"Okay," Joseph sighed, looking at Harry through the window. The man was pressed against the corner of the room, shaking and crying. "Did you wake him up?" the Healer asked.

"Yes," the Mediwizard nodded. "And that's what happened," he pointed at the patient.

"He wasn't ready to wake up," Healer Warren explained. "It's just the shock of being conscious again so quickly."

"We can't set his shoulder or heal his head injury…"

"Hmm…"

"Every time we try, he does that."

Joseph observed Harry for a beat longer before turning to the Mediwizard. "I guess we'll just have to wait for him to wake up," he murmured, his heart heavy with worry.

* * *

Draco looked up when the door clicked open. He struggled off of the chair but was made to sit back down by a silent spell. Two Hit wizards from the Ministry of Magic walked in grimly and closed the door behind them. "I didn't do anything," Draco maintained, trying to get up. He was held fast.

"Mr. Malfoy. Are you aware of your parole re-"

"Yes, damn it!" Draco interrupted. "I know! I just need to see Harry!"

"Are you also aware that you have broken several-"

"At least tell me if he's alright," Draco begged desperately.

"Why the interest?"

"He's my friend! Why won't you let me see him?" Draco asked, frustration causing him to raise his voice.

"How come you are the only _friend_ who knows about this?"

Draco bit back a loud swear. "Why does it matter? I'm here now and I want to see him," he said slowly.

"I am sure you are also aware of Veritaserum."

Draco paled in shock. "I-I'm sorry?" he stammered, his voice breaking.

"You are subject to questioning at any time during the duration of your parole."

"N-no," Draco shook his head vehemently. "That's… no."

"I'm afraid you are in no position to refuse, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco's head fell back and his jaw moved on its own accord. He couldn't even tell when the drops touched his tongue and ran into his throat. His eyes glazed over even as he tried to keep his mind from being overpowered.

"What is your name?"

Draco attempted to keep his voice hidden but he heard himself answer, "Draco Lucius Malfoy."

"When were you born?"

"June 5, 1980."

"What are you doing at this hospital?"

Draco felt sick to the stomach. "I need to see Harry," he whispered, eyes prickling. "Please, I need to see Harry."

"Why do you need to Harry Potter?"

"I don't know," Draco choked out, shaking his head. "I just-is he-is he alright? I don't know."

"Do you want to know if Harry Potter is alive?"

"Yes, yes," Draco gasped. "Please."

"Why do you want to know if Harry Potter is alive?"

Harry was dead? No. That can't be… Draco's throat closed up. "Please," he pleaded voicelessly.

Now the Hit wizards were more than perplexed. "Is he resistant?" one of them asked.

"I'm not sure," the other responded, frowning at Draco with concern. "Mr. Malfoy? Why do you want to know if Harry Potter is alive?"

Draco let out the sob he had been holding in for so long. "I don't want him to die. Please. Don't let him die," he whispered in fear.

That was all it took for the Hit wizards to flick their wands at Draco, erasing the potion from the man's system and letting him off the chair. Draco sagged as his mind cleared up and the spell was lifted off of him. He wiped his tears vehemently, pulling himself together.

"What… is your relationship with Mr. Potter?" one of the Hit wizards asked hesitantly.

Draco gritted his teeth as he willed his thoughts to stop racing. Harry wasn't dead. That wasn't possible. If Harry was dead, then… Draco would have been the first one to know. Harry was okay. He kept silent.

"Mr. Malfoy. What is your relationship with Mr. Potter?"

Draco squeezed his eyes shut. All he wanted to do was see Harry. Why did it have to be like this? He rested his face in his hands, shivering from the thoughts he was suppressing.

"Wow," the first Hit wizard sighed, raking fingers through his hair.

"Yeah," his partner murmured as he jerked his thumb towards the door. They left Draco alone in the office, closing the door firmly behind them.

* * *

_Harry whimpered as he felt a hand against his. He tried to pull away but fingers slid between his, holding him tight. He lifted his head up, blinking back the tears. "Draco?" he dared to hope._

"_What's wrong?" Draco asked, wiping away Harry's tears._

"_You can't be here," Harry sobbed, falling into Draco's arms. "They'll get you. They can't-you shouldn't-you should go. Now. Okay?"_

"_Or I could stay," Draco said._

"_Don't stay," Harry implored. "Go." He let go of Draco and pushed him._

"_I don't know where else to go," Draco said simply, crawling beside Harry and sitting down next to him. "Where are we?"_

_Harry was torn between keeping Draco and forcing him to leave. "Azkaban," he whispered, curling into Draco's warmth. Such inviting warmth._

"_Oh," Draco murmured, dismayed._

"_That's why you should leave. Don't you see?" Harry asked. "Please. For me."_

"_For you, I'll stay."_

_Harry didn't know what to say to that. He was so grateful. He was so relieved. "Thank you," he croaked._

_Draco kissed Harry firmly. "I love you…"_

_Harry nodded, feeling exhausted. "I love you too," he said. Then he smiled wryly. "Although, I think you might love me more than I love you."_

"_Oh?"_

"_You came to Azkaban for me, didn't you?" Harry said._

_Draco shook his head. "You're dreaming again," he murmured._

_Harry blinked at Draco. "What?"_

_Draco brushed his hand against Harry's head. "That hurts, doesn't it?" he asked._

_Harry touched his bloodied head. "Hmm… yeah. So does this," he added, waving a hand at his useless arm._

"_Shall we fix that?" Draco asked._

_Harry frowned in confusion. "You know how?" he asked._

"_The Healers do," Draco elaborated, gesturing vaguely._

_A chill came over Harry again. The Dementors were here. "No," he gasped, pressing against Draco. "Oh God, no. Draco, you have to-__"_

"_It's okay, Harry," Draco said soothingly. "We'll be okay."_

"_We won't!" Harry interrupted fiercely. The black creatures were moving in, silent and cold. "I need you to-__"_

"_I'm staying right here with you," Draco said. The Dementors were too close. Harry was on his feet in a flash, ignoring the piercing pain in his shoulder. Draco followed suit, facing Harry and putting himself between the Dementors and the frantic man. "It's okay. We'll be okay. It's just a dream," he said._

_Harry pushed Draco towards the wall and stepped in front of him, shielding him from the Dementors. "Leave him," he said, his words trembling with sadness. "Please, don't hurt him. Take me instead. Don't hurt him…"_

Suddenly, Draco found this situation quite comical. Here they were in a hospital room and he was pressed against the wall with Harry blubbering and begging at two bewildered Mediwizards and three distressed Apprentices who had no idea what to do. He wrapped his arms around Harry, his chest pressed against Harry's back. "What the fuck, Potter?" he whispered shakily, laughing.

Harry blinked at the hospital staff, swaying in Draco's arms. He turned around quickly, staring up at Draco. "Uh…"

"You're seriously messed up, aren't you?" Draco chuckled.

It took Harry several seconds to figure out what was happening. And when he finally did, he blushed in mortification, wanting to crawl into a hole and die. "Damn it," he swore, hiding his face against Draco. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…"

Draco smiled at the confused Mediwizards. "He's fine," he said.

"I'm not," Harry hissed urgently. "Kill me now."

"Not before we fix you up," Draco said, forcing Harry to turn around.

Harry looked at the 'Dementors' sheepishly. "Sorry," he said with a wan smile. "Um… hi."

Harry was patched up in less than ten minutes. Draco wandered out of the room, stopping short when he ran into Joseph and the Hit wizards. "Oh… you're all… still here," he said uncertainly.

"You did very well, Draco," Joseph said with a wide smile.

"He was just… dreaming," Draco said. "I thought something awful had happened." He laughed nervously, still shaken.

"How _did_ you know that something had happened?" the Healer asked, piquing a brow.

Draco looked guilty at this question. The Hit wizards were silent but attentive, which didn't help Draco one bit. "I… um… I put a marker on him," he confessed.

"Oh?" Joseph asked, now raising both eyebrows.

"He's always sleepwalking and apparating and stuff," Draco said quickly, trying to justify himself. "And I just wanted to… I mean, he kept… so I… but you should probably… not tell him… please?"

One of the Hit wizards scoffed, rolling his eyes. "We need to interview Mr. Potter," he murmured, tugging his partner towards the room Harry was in.

Once the Ministry officials were gone, Joseph looked at Draco reproachfully. "What exactly did you do to wind up on the wrong side?" he asked.

Draco fell into the chair, exhausted. "I didn't do anything," he grumbled. "I just wanted to see Harry and they wouldn't let me."

"And…"

"And I made a scene," Draco finished, scuffing the floor with his shoe. "This sucks."

Before Joseph could continue reprimanding Draco, they were interrupted by a rather panicky Ron. "Where is he?" the redhead asked, stumbling over his words.

"He's fine," Joseph was quick to inform Ron. "He just had an incident at the Ministry."

"What incident?" Ron asked, wringing his hands. Then his gaze fell on Draco. "Whoa, wait… What are you doing here?"

"I… um… I-I'm doing nothing," Draco said, unprepared.

"Why are you here?" Ron asked, eyes narrowed.

Draco's mind was racing. He didn't know what Harry would want him to say. "I wanted to see how Harry was doing," he said vaguely.

"How did you know he was here?" Ron asked again.

Joseph was Draco's saving grace. The Healer seemed to have figured out that Ron had no idea about Draco's relationship with Harry. "I called him," Joseph interrupted. Ron turned his attention to Joseph now. "Harry was having another episode and I figured Draco could help him…" he trailed off.

"You helped him?" Ron asked, glancing at Draco. Draco shrugged in response.

Joseph smiled at Draco. "Yes, he helped Harry. That's why I said it's fine," he said the last part emphatically so Ron would stop his rapid fire questioning.

Ron sighed with relief, sitting down next to Draco. "You can't seem to get rid of him, huh?" he asked Draco ruefully. "Thanks. Again."

"It-it's no trouble," Draco answered.

"I know this is probably the last place you want to be," Ron murmured. "After all the things he did to you and-"

"It's okay, Ron," Draco interjected, squirming.

Joseph kept from rolling his eyes as he said, "I'm going to check up on Harry," and walked away.

The two men sat in rather uncomfortable silence for a few moments. Draco's mind was occupied with ways to get out of Ron's questions while Ron was trying not to worry himself into another frenzy. "He really does like you," he blurted out before he could stop himself.

Draco stiffened at the wayward comment. "What?" he asked in disbelief.

Ron kept his eyes on the floor. "I mean, I know things didn't end well with you and he's confused and all. But he… I'm sure he's sorry. Do you know what I'm saying?"

Draco was gaping at Ron's profile. "A-are you… are you telling me that he... _likes_ me?" he asked incredulously.

Ron fidgeted in his seat. "Um… no?"

"But you just did! You said he really likes me!" Draco exclaimed. "Did he tell you that he likes me?" he pressed on, wondering what else Harry had told Ron.

"Well, it's just that… after that sleepwalking incident, he… I don't know. He's been less moody. That's all," Ron said. "I think he's just relieved that you two worked it all out."

Draco blinked blankly. "We're dating, Ron…"

Ron shot up from the chair, pointing a finger at Draco and exclaiming, "Ah hah!"

"What?" Draco asked, startled.

"I _knew_ it!" Ron said, grinning. "I _knew_ you two were going out! Gosh, I'm so good!"

"What's going on?" Draco asked weakly.

"Hermione wouldn't believe me," Ron said, pacing in front of Draco. "She said there was no way! I knew it when you fire-called. But he wouldn't tell me anything! Gosh, he's in _so_ much trouble! I can't believe you are _dating_ him! Of all the convoluted things to do, you two are _together_?" He laughed in disbelief, shaking his head at Draco.

"So… you… are okay with this?" Draco asked.

"I know you aren't going to kill him," Ron responded, as though that were the answer to Draco's question.

"Okay…" Draco said, drawing out the word.

"Wait until Hermione hears about this," Ron cackled, sitting back down now that the excitement had worn off. "Am I right in guessing that every time he gives us a lame excuse, he's at your place?"

"Erm… hopefully?" Draco said in bewilderment.

"Thank goodness," Ron leaned back on the chair.

"He can look after himself, you know," Draco said, defensive for Harry.

"Sure he can," Ron jibed, smiling to himself.

"He can!" Draco argued.

"Is this," Ron pointed to the hospital room, "him looking after himself?"

"And that's why I'm here," Draco grumbled, folding his arms against his chest. "Shut up."

"Mhm."

Then there was more silence, this time with Ron gloating as a smug smile played on his lips and Draco wondering how much trouble _he_ was in. "But it's not like we're doing anything wrong," Draco said out of the blue. "I mean, he's allowed to have a life."

"Sure, sure," Ron said patronizingly, "with a Death Eater."

"I'm not a Death Eater!" Draco said, reining in his anger.

"Won't matter to the press outside," Ron said, casting a wary eye at Draco.

"Press?" Draco gulped.

"Harry's kind of a celebrity," Ron said with a smirk. "Or didn't you notice?"

"Yeah, but they don't have to know about _me_," Draco said. "I mean, he's going to be killed!"

"Not before the fan girls kill you," Ron added.

"Oh," Draco moaned, massaging his aching temple. "Why is this so complicated?"

"It's stuff you'll have to deal with if you're Harry's friend," Ron sympathized.

Joseph and the Hit wizards exited the room then, stopping the conversation. "You can go in now," the Healer said to Draco and Ron. They were already halfway in the door before he finished.

Harry coughed out the water he had been drinking when he saw them. "Oh, Ron…"

"Yeah. Ron. Remember me?" Ron asked, shoving Harry against the propped pillow. "Your _best_ friend."

Harry hazarded a glance at Draco, who was smiling helplessly. "I'm… sorry?" Harry apologized to Ron.

"About what?" Ron asked, looking thoroughly offended.

Harry tried to gauge Ron's expression and Draco's shrug. "I'm… um-I'm sorry for… not… telling you?" he said, grimacing.

"Not telling me about what?" Ron asked as he loomed over Harry.

Harry cleared his dry throat. "A-about…" He tried to will Draco into giving him a sign. Draco mouthed, 'he found out'. "Draco?" Harry finished, paling.

Ron glared back at Draco before turning that same glare at Harry. "Damn right! You are the worst," he huffed, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry," Harry mumbled, shrinking into the bed. "I-um… I didn't-I didn't know how-if you'd… I don't know."

"I was fine with you dating Ginny. Why wouldn't I be fine with him?" Ron asked intently.

"He's not like Ginny! He's a-"

"If you say Death Eater, I swear to Merlin I'll give you something to cry about," Draco growled.

Harry frowned in response. "He's a _lot_ like the guy you hated five years ago," he continued, waiting for Ron's answer.

Draco tsked. "That's not much better," he groused.

Ron ignored Draco. "But he _helped_ you, Harry. It doesn't really matter if I hate him," he said.

Harry snored in derision. "Oh, sure. What was I supposed to say? Hey, guys. Guess what? Draco Malfoy loves me and he's totally awesome because he… um…" he caught Draco's frenetic waving arms and desperate expression. "Shit," he muttered.

"Love?" Ron squeaked, whipping around to stare at Draco in wonder.

"You said he found out," Harry said breathlessly.

"That we're _dating_," Draco groaned. "I'm going away now." He trudged out of the room, mortified.

"He loves you?" Ron asked, scooting in closer.

Harry groaned as well, imitating Draco. "Go away…"

"I didn't know he-I thought it was just-I mean you-not him…"

"Not him?" Harry asked, trepidation rising. What did Ron mean? "He-he's not like before, Ron. He's… why not him?"

Ron shook his head quickly, leaning back. "N-no. That's not-I… I meant that… like… I knew _you_… but not _him_…"

"Why?" Harry asked in distress.

Ron exhaled slowly, trying to get the words right. He could sense Harry getting worked up. "Stop," he said, placing hands on Harry's shoulders. "What I _meant_ to say was that I knew _you_ loved him. But I didn't think _he_ loved you. So it's just… surprising that… it's both ways, you know?"

Harry slumped against the pillows, reassured. "Oh," he said, blushing. "Um… yeah…"

"Like, _really_ weird," Ron said definitely.

"Yeah."

"No, I don't think you understand," Ron interrupted, shaking his head. "You have _no_ idea how weird this is."

Harry closed his eyes, grimacing.

* * *

"You made it all the way to Azkaban for me, didn't you?"

Draco looked away from his book, frowning in puzzlement at Harry. "Hmm?"

Harry leaned his head against Draco's shoulder. "That was nice of you," he murmured.

"You think so?" Draco asked, humoring Harry.

"I do," Harry said in all sincerity. "I think you are amazing."

"Harry," Draco rolled his eyes. "You aren't making any sense." He returned to his book.

"Can I show you off, Draco?"

Draco dropped the book, mouth agape. "W-what?" he stammered.

"Can I show you off?"

"What are you talking about?" Draco asked helplessly.

Harry looked at Draco out of the corner of his eye. "I like you…"

Draco blinked at Harry for a few seconds. "So?" he asked after trying to figure out Harry's line of argument and failing to come up with a possible answer.

"Can I show you off?" Harry repeated.

"To who?" Draco asked incredulously.

"To everybody."

"Oh…"

* * *

Harry's scandalous love affair was the favored gossip over the next few months. He didn't do much to prompt it. When asked if it was true that he was seeing Draco Malfoy in a more personal sense, he said yes. Now both his home and the Malfoy Manor were crawling with reporters dying to catch a glimpse of the elusive 'couple'. Rumors of Draco's hysterical visit to the hospital and Harry's miraculous recovery after Draco was allowed in were greatly exaggerated to the point of Harry having nearly died and Draco making a potion that cured him.

"You won't believe the things they are saying," Harry chuckled, reading the subscriber-sent columns in the Prophet.

"Bugger off," Draco grumbled, slapping the paper out of Harry's hand as he walked to the kitchen to put his dishes away.

"Hey," Harry exclaimed in offense, bending down to pick up the fallen newspaper. "I was reading that."

"You won't believe the Howlers I'm getting nearly every day," Draco grumbled. "The worst part is that they're either from Blaise or Astoria. Damn them."

"But now we're out in the open, Draco," Harry laughed, feeling unusually ecstatic as he brought his empty mug to the sink.

"What are you so bloody happy about?" Draco asked.

"Because now I can kiss you in public," Harry said, enunciating the last word tantalizingly.

"And all your wildest dreams have come true," Draco deadpanned, rolling his eyes.

"Don't be like that," Harry smiled, kissing Draco adoringly.

"This is a fairy tale for you, isn't it?" Draco asked, wrapping his arms around Harry. "Just another dream."

"My best dream ever," Harry blushed.

Draco smiled helplessly, shaking his head as he kissed Harry's cheek. "My best dream too," he winked.

* * *

"Ginny's visiting," Ron said hesitantly.

Harry jerked in response, his heart hammering. "Wh-what? Sh-oh… I-wh-when?" he asked.

"She'll be here tomorrow around noon."

"Oh…"

* * *

Draco was watching Harry carefully when Ginny arrived with her beau. He saw the slightly dazed expression that Harry was trying so hard to rearrange. He slipped his hand in Harry's, squeezing the cold fingers. Harry nodded unconsciously, reassured that he wasn't trapped in his mind again. He stood up from the sofa, waiting for the reunited family to finish hugging and kissing Ginny.

Ginny's gaze slid from George to Harry, her stomach tightening instantly. She felt as though she had fallen through the looking glass. Harry had a shy smile, looking all of seventeen once again. Hands in his pockets, hair ruffled messily, slouching boyishly… It was as though she had never left him. She brushed past George, moving to Harry. "Hey," he said, stammering. "I-um… C-congratulations. I'm so happy for you."

Ginny hugged Harry crushingly, apologizing through the gesture. Having Ginny so close to him was weighing down on Harry's mind. He struggled to keep his thoughts from drifting into his memories. He knew he would get trapped in them if he wasn't…

_Careful._

_He was in front of the Room of Requirements, Ginny's hands in his. He couldn't stop staring at her. She was beautiful. And she held his heart._

"_I missed you," she said, her bright eyes wide and innocent._

"_Me too," Harry murmured. "I thought I wouldn't get to say goodbye…"_

_Ginny frowned slightly, puzzled. "Goodbye?" she asked. "Where are you going?"_

"_I love you," Harry whispered, leaning close to tell her. "Always. No matter what."_

_Ginny stepped back, alarmed. "H-Harry?" she asked, appearing panicked._

"_I know you love me too," Harry reassured her. "I wanted to tell you before you left."_

"_What are you talking about?" Ginny asked. "Are you alright?"_

_Harry felt a sharp jab to the side of his ribs. With a soft yelp, he glared at Draco. "What?" he scowled._

"Shut up," Draco huffed. "You're weirding her out."

Harry blinked back to the present, paling as he did so. He swayed slightly as his head spun. Draco held him steady. Harry noticed the death-like silence around him. He groaned in dismay, pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes. "I'm going to… go over there now," he muttered, dragging his feet as he walked out of the drawing room.

Draco smiled fondly as he gazed after his boyfriend. "Sorry. He has lapses in memory," he apologized to Ginny.

"You…" Ginny murmured, staring at Draco.

"Yeah. I know," Draco rubbed the back of his neck. "Weird, huh?"

"So bloody weird," Ginny breathed. That caused the room to become animated again as the redheads pulled Ginny's fiancé into the group and making sure to humiliate Ginny at the same time with adorable comments.

Harry was on the kitchen counter, face in his hands and elbows on his knees. He wanted to obliviate everyone in that room. He kicked the cabinet with the heel of his shoe, angry with himself and wishing Draco had stopped him a few sentences sooner. Feeling a soft touch to his hair, he murmured, "You can go fucking die, Malfoy."

"I don't think he would appreciate that," Ginny whispered playfully.

Harry nearly fell off the counter in shock. "G-Ginny," he stuttered. "I-I'm so sorry! About… before, I mean. I just-I don't know what I was thinking. I-J-just forget about it, okay? Please?" he begged.

"I thought it was sweet," Ginny grinned. "I always knew you were sweet."

"Ginny," Harry moaned, embarrassed.

"You forgive me _that_ easily?" she asked.

"F-forgive you?" Harry asked incredulously. "F-for what?"

"For leaving you," she said.

"But you… you don't-you don't have anything to be sorry about," Harry rushed. "I'm a mess, Gin. I'm glad you moved on."

"And I'm glad you have too," Ginny added.

"Hmm," Harry couldn't help smiling.

"I left you, Harry. But he won't, will he?" she asked, concerned.

Harry shook his head without a second thought. "Never. He loves me," he said.

"I love you. I left you," Ginny pressed on.

"He would be lost without me," Harry chuckled. "He's not going to leave me. I know. I know this."

"Really?"

"Do you think Mike could leave you?" he asked her.

"No," Ginny answered after a moment of thought, smiling. "He'd be lost without me."

"We can do without each other, huh?" Harry sighed.

"That's sad."

Harry nodded in agreement. "I'm glad you're my friend, Ginny," he said, hopping down from the counter and hugging her. "You always know how to make me feel better."

"And I'm glad you're happy," Ginny said, her heart lightened and her guilt ebbing away.

* * *

Harry stared up at the canopy, hands behind his head and knees bent so his feet were planted on the sheets. Draco sighed finally, turning over and looking at Harry. "Go to sleep, Potter. You're freaking me out."

"I just realized that I don't have any more secrets," Harry said distantly.

"So?"

"It feels strange," Harry explained.

"Why? Want a secret?" Draco asked sarcastically.

"Funnily enough, yeah, I do," Harry said.

"Blaise and Astoria are sleeping tog-"

"Gah!" Harry plugged his ears with his fingers, sitting up shock. "I thought Blaise was gay!" he exclaimed, whipping around.

"Astoria can turn anyone straight. Or gay, as the case may be," Draco yawned. "There, you have a secret. Now go to sleep, damn it."

"How on Earth do you expect me to sleep now?" Harry asked helplessly. "I cant' stop thinking about them having sex and now it's so gross!"

"Shut up," Draco whined, pulling Harry back onto the bed and kissing him into quieting down.

"That's so gross," Harry whispered, shuddering against Draco's lips. "Why would tell me that?"

"I said shut up," Draco muttered, his hand cupping Harry's groin.

"Ah," Harry arched his back, trying to shirk away.

"Instead of thinking about _them_ having sex, think of _us_ having sex," Draco said, crawling on top of Harry. "Because now I can't bloody sleep, all thanks to you."

Harry hummed in appreciation when Draco's fingers slid under his shirt and caressed him. "How many secrets do you have, Draco?" he asked.

"Millions," Draco whispered, sucking on Harry's neck.

"Can you tell me one every night?" Harry asked.

Draco smiled at the innocent question. "Okay," he promised.

"Good," Harry grinned, urgently pushing Draco's shirt up. "Sex it up," he announced, whipping the shirt off with a flourish.

Draco hid his laughing face against Harry's shoulder. He loved his life. All because of a clearly insane and utterly endearing Harry damned Potter…

* * *

**The End!**

**If it weren't for all of your support and reviews, I wouldn't have finished this story! Thank you SO MUCH! You have no idea how happy you make me - every single favorite, alert, and message. This is one of my favorite stories I have written thus far. So much fun to write :D**


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